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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that a school trip to NYC is excessive? Aibu to say no?

145 replies

ENormaSnob · 15/02/2012 18:43

Probably outing myself here as I have moaned rather a lot about this irl Grin

Ds1(year 7) brought a letter home yesterday about a school trip to new York next year. There are 40 places for the whole school.

It is £800 for 3 days Shock

They will see the empire state building, ground zero, the guggenheim museum, a broadway show and a drama workshop. Plus ice skating and lunch in planet Hollywood.

Aibu to think this is not an educational trip for a 12 year old?

We could stretch to finance it by doing overtime and saving but I am so reluctant to say yes.

Aibu? Wwyd?

OP posts:
DavidaCottonmouth · 15/02/2012 18:47

It doesn't sound like a particularly educational visit. Which academic department is running the trip? Is this a subject that interests him?

Visits like this are great for letting your child do things you don't particularly do, but if it is a holiday that you might take yourselves, then that is different.

40 places across the school means mixed age groups. How do you feel about this? There is a big difference between Y8 and Sixth Form when it comes to social time.

My DD has been on a language trip which was mixed age, but that was fine as the focus was language and culture which they could all learn from.

fedupofnamechanging · 15/02/2012 18:48

£800 is a lot of money and would go a long way towards a family holiday. Could you afford to do this for all your children, when the time comes. If not, I can see the younger ones being a bit put out.

Also NY is a long way from home. I wouldn't want my child to be that far away from me, on a school trip. If something happens, it's not just across the channel, to get to them.

Flisspaps · 15/02/2012 18:48

If you can't afford it, then YANBU to say no.

Education can cover a very broad spectrum though so please don't think that its not particularly educational, or that the staff are running it for a jolly (before anyone else says 'oh the staff just want to go to NY for fun) - school trips are bloody hard work even when they're massively enjoyable :)

MrsHeffley · 15/02/2012 18:49

Well given that I have a teacher friend who tried to wangle a Disney Paris trip for her science students(to which she was planning to take her dd along)and was p*d off when her head said no yanbu.

A cynic might say a lot of these trips aren't exactly completely crucial or beneficial.I wonder if in these economic times trips like these will end as surely the vast maj of parents won't have the cash.

Teachers did take classes on all these expensive trips when I was young and they still managed to get good results.

MrsHeffley · 15/02/2012 18:50

did not

BrianButterfield · 15/02/2012 18:50

If there are only 40 places then a very small percentage of the school are going - and I would imagine as it's drama-based a lot of those will be older students with their own jobs to help pay for it. There will be absolutely no expectation that your DS goes. It's just being offered, is all.

DavidaCottonmouth · 15/02/2012 18:51

But Karma, part of the rational behind school trips is that they do force you and your child to deal with separation from one another.

If something happened to your DS in NYC, it would be a lot easier dealing with it (assuming medical emergency or accommodation crisis) there rather in France.

LineRunner · 15/02/2012 18:51

I hate these letters home. The pressure to say yes, especially when there's the 'easy installment' option...

aaaagh.

WorraLiberty · 15/02/2012 18:52

Not all trips are educational...some are just for fun.

I wouldn't pay for mine to go but that's because I have 2 school age children who are 4 school years apart.

I would worry that if I could afford it for one, I might not be able to afford it for the other one in the future.

Besides £800 would be enough to give us all a good holiday.

blueemerald · 15/02/2012 18:53

I went to Iceland on a school trip but I was in year 12 and it was only students from my year. It was an incredible experience but I wouldn't have felt comfortable going at 12 years of age with students up to 16/18...

SuePurblybilt · 15/02/2012 18:55

Will they get much more from that than they would have done from a trip to the Tower of London, The National Gallery, A West End show and trip to the Globe? Plus lunch at Planet Hollywood?

Why on earth does it have to be NY?
Unless you live in London I guess Grin, in which case . Suggest Cardiff? Grin

manicinsomniac · 15/02/2012 18:55

Of course the trip isn't crucial or 100% educational and of course you are not unreasonable to say no to your son.

But that doesn't mean the trip shouldn't run. I'm sure it will be a fantastic experience for the children who do go.

DavidaCottonmouth · 15/02/2012 18:56

My DSs went to Iceland on a Geography trip and it was amazing.

When my DD had the opportunity to go with her school, it was a whole senior school offering, and about twice the price (the head didn't like the idea of staying in a hostel so they were based in a swanky hotel in Reykjavik). I said no to this one, although was tempted because it was something we would never do as a whole family.

Original poster
ENormaSnob · 15/02/2012 18:57

Our family holiday for 5 has cost about the same (camping in France)

The letter says it covers drama and music, both of which he enjoys but he is more of a sciency type of boy tbh. I very much doubt either will be chosen in his options.

I did say to dh that if we send him then it's sets a precedence for the younger 2.

The vast range of ages does concern me a little, plus I worry he wont enjoy it if none of his friends go.

OP posts:
fedupofnamechanging · 15/02/2012 18:58

Davida, I think I will have plenty of time in life to get used to my children not being with me. 11 is too young for me to feel comfortable with my child being that far away, but appreciate that other parents have different comfort levels.

MissSayuri · 15/02/2012 18:58

I think 12 is a wee bit young for NY, or city breaks in general. We took dd to Paris when she was that age and she was bored rigid and moaned all the time. Big mistake.

AmberLeaf · 15/02/2012 19:00

So ive got a geography field trip [UK] a MFL trip [Europe] both of which have to be paid for even though they are pretty much essential to his GCSE course....AND theres the 'optional' jolly to USA!

He really wants to go to the USA trip, im not sure I can afford the 2 GCSE ones.

He is eldest of 3, so ive got this all to come 2 more times.

'wonderful opportunity' blah blah blah, great if you can afford it, I would have thought everyone would be aware that lots of people just cant afford this.

I cant afford a family holiday yet am expected to send 1 child on 2 poss 3 holidays in the space of 12-18 months.

I think its all got a bit out of hand TBH.

Original poster
ENormaSnob · 15/02/2012 19:01

I am hoping a French or Spanish trip comes up. I would have no hesititations sending him on one of those.

Sue, I live oop north so tbh, London would be a massive culture trip for us Grin

OP posts:
YouOldSlag · 15/02/2012 19:02

I think it's excessive. Like Sue says, London has everything to match that. £800 is taking the piss and makes parents feel bad.

stoatie · 15/02/2012 19:04

Having 3 children we told eldest that she could have one abroad trip with school but only one and therefore to choose carefully. Think she went to France for 5 days.

When DS started senior school he was told same - each letter home he would weigh it up and decline. Beginning of year 11 he realised time was running out Grin and quickly chose the next chance (he is away now Smile and not impressed with the food).

DD2 is still in primary school, so is biding her time

Lunabelly · 15/02/2012 19:04

You would not be unreasonable if you told the school to bog off.

These trips are incredibly expensive, not what I would call particularly edukashunall, and especially angering when schools witter on about all pupils being equal - because these trips really show the haves from the have nots.

As for wwid...I'd feel like complaining, to be honest. It's not fair on the kids, and it's not fair on the parents (oh the guilt). We can't even afford bloody Butlins and have never had a family holiday, so I could never justify sending one of my bratlings on a school jaunt that costs more than a bargain bucket break for all of us.

You're not unreasonable to be a bit Hmm with this. A French exchange is one thing...

Polgara2 · 15/02/2012 19:04

ENormaSnob - dd2 came home with one of those letters on Friday only it would cost £1500! . And we are oop North too! Needless to say she won't be going - mind you she didn't want to anyway thank goodness.

DartsAgain · 15/02/2012 19:05

DD is Yr 7 and she is doing a 7 night trip to France in April. I think it's the whole of Yr 7, with only 1 not going that I know about. It'll certainly be an educational trip, with 2 of the nights being out in the open (but she's had a week's camping with Guides so reckons she's all prepared Wink ) and I believe she'll get a lot out of it, especially confidence!

But NYC, mixed age group? No, I don't think so at her age.

MissSayuri · 15/02/2012 19:05

My dd has been to Spain, France and Italy with the school. All 'adventure' type hols, 8 days long (inc travelling by coach) and nowhere near £800! These were great experiences for her where she learned skills like kayaking and mountain climbing. I do feel she really gained something from the experience. I'm not sure a 12 year old gains much from traipsing round an incredibly busy city like NY. Is he an outgoing, confident lad? NY can be quite intimidating, even for adults.

MrsHeffley · 15/02/2012 19:07

Would just like to know where the money comes for the adults(there will be several going)fares,accommodation,food,expenses etc.

If it comes out of school funds I'd be livid.