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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that a school trip to NYC is excessive? Aibu to say no?

145 replies

ENormaSnob · 15/02/2012 18:43

Probably outing myself here as I have moaned rather a lot about this irl Grin

Ds1(year 7) brought a letter home yesterday about a school trip to new York next year. There are 40 places for the whole school.

It is £800 for 3 days Shock

They will see the empire state building, ground zero, the guggenheim museum, a broadway show and a drama workshop. Plus ice skating and lunch in planet Hollywood.

Aibu to think this is not an educational trip for a 12 year old?

We could stretch to finance it by doing overtime and saving but I am so reluctant to say yes.

Aibu? Wwyd?

OP posts:
greenplastictrees · 15/02/2012 20:07

It seems an incredibly expensive trip for his age. Also the fact there are only 40 places suggest it will only be the rich kids who go. If more people could afford it, surely there would be more places?

Also although I'm sure for many teachers it is not a holiday, I'm not sure that this is always the case with all teachers. I remember one very difficult ski trip when I was in lower sixth. All sorts had gone on including a pupil having a fling with a ski instructor from the company that we went with, two broken legs, a couple of asthma attacks and numerous pupils who refused to ski. The teachers who had come on the trip consisted of the organising teacher and one other who acted like they were working. There were four other teachers as well who were all in their mid to late 20s and they behaved like school children the whole time. They were more concerned with having a laugh than helping the two responsible teachers out. This was acutely obvious even to me as a pupil and I felt so sorry to the organising teacher who always put so much effort into organising these trips. Needless to say I shared a ski lift with the teacher and asked if she was having a good time. Her words were "green plastic - never again. I never want to organise another ski trip in my life".

I know such an extreme situation may be an exception but I do think that different teachers have different motives for going on these trips. Some do treat it more as a jolly and forget they are there to work.

Lunabelly · 15/02/2012 20:08

I would complain because our schools constantly have their hands out for more and more overpriced/dubious beanos and the like and it's just not fair. It's a school, for education, not for making kids feel left out and parents feel guilty. I'd expect trips like this in a posh school. Not so much in a state school in a deprived area.

I don't drink or smoke, or go out, and we have no extravagances whatsoever; but as I've said, we can't even afford Butlins, much less these trips x 4. And to be honest, even if I could afford them, I wouldn't, because it's a principle as well. Buying into it encourages schools. My kids can travel when they leave school, like my siblings and I did. Harsh? Maybe. We would love to be able to take our kids on holiday, but we can't, and I could never justify paying out that for one school trip when we can't even afford a family trip to the zoo :(

MissSayuri · 15/02/2012 20:09

No one has said YABU so I think the general concensus is that you have nothing to feel guilty about. Age, cost, usefulness all seem to be factors pointing to it not being right for you or your family right at this moment. I'm aghast at someone who said they'd make the family live on beans for months to make it happen. REALLY? Hmm

sodapops · 15/02/2012 20:11

We would have been able to afford it for ours to have gone on a trip like this, one at a time, a couple of years apart. But it would have meant we would have had to cut back on a lot of things like meals out, new clothes, cinema trips and days out.

We booked our Summer holiday at the weekend, we are going to Lanzarote for a week. It cost £1105. With that in mind I would be constantly thinking of what we could have done with that £800!

defineme · 15/02/2012 20:11

I think he's y7 and there's plentyof time for it when he's older-6th form much more appropriate for this sort of trip.
Fwiw dh has run a New York trip for 6th formers for several years It started as a media trip because New York was part of the course. However, it has opened out to the whole of 6th form because they demanded to go.
The school is in a poorish rural area and a lot of the kids pay for the trip from their part time jobs. Parents have said to dh that they could never go on a family trip there and also they would be too nervous to go, but feel it's a once in a life time thing for their child.
Recently an ex student tragically passed away and the parents said to dh that she had always talked about the trip as the best thing she'd ever done. A lot of these kids never get further than the small market town that's nearest to them.
I do think I got far more out of art galleries and so on when I was in 6th form than I did from the French trip when I was 11, but I think it depends on the teacher and I'd been to France many times before that.

I think travel opens the mind, but I have 3 kids (twins means double the cost at once) and I will get them to choose carefully. I would say you can save part of the money yourself and go when you're older.

mojitomania · 15/02/2012 20:11

Of course it's excessive! School holidays should be capped at a certain amount. Say £300.

verytellytubby · 15/02/2012 20:18

Christ I have 3 kids (including twins). I'm dreading the school trips!

natwebb79 · 15/02/2012 20:35

As a teacher who has organised and run a trip to Paris for 80 year 8s a few times I can assure you that they are not 'holidays' for the teachers, they're bloody hard work! Even crossing a road with everyone making sure they get across safely is a head ache, not to mention 'night duty' to make sure the darlings aren't playing up in the hotel. Grin

natwebb79 · 15/02/2012 20:36

Have to add though I think NY seems unnecessary for what the trip involves. Oh - and schools can't refuse you a place on the trip if you can't afford it. They have a fund for such things Smile

HomeEcoGnomist · 15/02/2012 20:41

Greenplastic - agreed. I think it's probably hard work for teachers accompanying younger age groups, but I know a couple of teachers who have actively sought out and gone on trips they don't have to do (in fact, one left the school so doubly not required, except married to the other teacher!) - an activity holiday in a v popular holiday location with 6th formers. ''Giving up half term'' my arse!

sodapops · 15/02/2012 20:45

I always feel quite sorry for the teachers when my DC come home from trips and tell me what some of the DC have been up to! I am more surprised when the trip is run again!

I wouldn't worry about saying no, OP. There are lots of people who have too much month left at the end of the money ATM, so I should imagine there will be lots of DC being told no tonight!

silverbay · 15/02/2012 20:51

teacher friend and her DH had a free skiing trip (just the two of them) before christmas, to suss out the resort for the next trip (on which they will both go, along with their kids and two of their friends, and i'm pretty sure that none will pay a penny.)

really, really don't get why the resort needed to be 'sussed out', surely info could have been got from internet, or reviews / recommendation - other schools must have used the resort?

all from school funds.

SquidgyBiscuits · 15/02/2012 20:55

You don't have to agree to it if you don't want to.

I don't agree with other posters re holidays though. My school offered lots of trips, some I went on and others I didn't. We had watersports in Barbados for a week, Israel for RE, Russia, Iceland, Skiing in USA and then in Europe, Monaco, Paris, Argentina - those are just the ones I remember. Some were educational, some more fun. But even the educational trips had fun elements.

shesparkles · 15/02/2012 20:56

I'm another one who'd do all I could for my kids to be able to go. My parents did the same for us-I had a fab 10 day holiday-and yes it was a holiday, not ed-yoo-kay-shunal- in Switzerland and Paris when I was 14/15 with school.
The teachers should be getting paid vast amounts of money to be going, not just have their costs absorbed-it's hardly a holiday for them, they're on duty 24/7!

noblegiraffe · 15/02/2012 20:56

Schools can refuse you a place on the trip if you can't afford it.

School trips only have to be free ('voluntary contribution') if they are mainly in school hours or part of the National Curriculum.

I doubt that this jaunt to New York would qualify.

hadrosaur · 15/02/2012 20:58

£800 is a lot for 3 days of anything - DS is going to New Zealand with school for three weeks for £1600 - so twice as much, but further, and 7 times the duration.

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 15/02/2012 21:01

YANBU for thinking it's too expensive, but it does sound a fantastic holiday! I'd go, given half a chance!

tardisjumper · 15/02/2012 21:07

I went to school when this kind of thing started happening and the fact it has continued is absurd. I have never been skiing so looked at the school skiing trip when in 6th form. It was over £2k (9 years ago), and when I queried this I was told 'but it's a really nice place in 5* hotel in California'. Shock

These are teachers. On teachers salaries. Why don't they get it! I am currently a childless professional with a dual income household. We are going to Croatia for 10 days to stay in a villa for £700 all in for two of us.

Needless to say I did not go as my parents were teachers on teachers salaries. It just doesn't match up Confused

QuickLookBusy · 15/02/2012 21:10

My DD did a NY trip with the school. She had a fantastic time, and the 4 days were completly packed from morning until night. However she was in Lower Sixth and I know I wouldn't have let her go when she was 12. As others have said I think it's just far away.

I also know that as a 17 yo my DD appreciated the museums etc a lot more than she would have done at 12.

t0lk13n · 15/02/2012 21:15

My son went to Iceland with the school two years ago and it cost me £900 plus all the paraphenalia - clothes, walking boots etc and spending money. He loved it. He was in yr 10 and went as part of his Geography GCSE.

Original poster
ENormaSnob · 15/02/2012 21:22

Right, I have just informed ds that he won't be going.

He is absolutely fine with it Smile

OP posts:
SamuelWestsMistress · 15/02/2012 21:35

That seems like a lot of money for 3 days for a school trip, but I suppose it would cost that.

Seems very far for a school trip. I don't think I'd pay for mine to go...I'd bloody well want in on the action too!

YouOldSlag · 15/02/2012 21:42

"Like I'm depriving him of such a massive opportunity"

You're not depriving him though, NYC will be there for the rest of his life. You can take him yourself one day or he can save up and go in a gap year/holidays.

I think excessive trips like this can give children a sense of entitlement.

If they've done massive stuff like this before they've even left school, I just think they have less to look forward to. Too much too young!

I am 42 and still excited about the fact that in a few years time I might be able to afford to go. Not saying kids have to wait that long, but whatever next?

mrsjay · 15/02/2012 22:18

I dont see why a school should run an expensive holiday and its a holiday not an educational trip even if it was , newyork jeez and not everybody could afford it so hardly a fair trip for all is it ,

mrsjay · 15/02/2012 22:20

Im glad hes not huffing and puffing about he maybe didnt really want to go in the first place , and I dont think you were depriving him of anything ,