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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that a school trip to NYC is excessive? Aibu to say no?

145 replies

ENormaSnob · 15/02/2012 18:43

Probably outing myself here as I have moaned rather a lot about this irl Grin

Ds1(year 7) brought a letter home yesterday about a school trip to new York next year. There are 40 places for the whole school.

It is £800 for 3 days Shock

They will see the empire state building, ground zero, the guggenheim museum, a broadway show and a drama workshop. Plus ice skating and lunch in planet Hollywood.

Aibu to think this is not an educational trip for a 12 year old?

We could stretch to finance it by doing overtime and saving but I am so reluctant to say yes.

Aibu? Wwyd?

OP posts:
ReduceRecycleRegift · 15/02/2012 19:10

I know someone who always takes the school trips, she gets a free "trial" trip for her and a partner friend, and the kids often end up going back to the place she chose for her last free holiday.

Sometimes she goes (on trips full of other teachers and plus 1s) on trial trips to places that the school would NEVER consider (such as the China trip she went on and other very long haul ones) and those years she'll take the kids to one of the previous standard short haul ones. She feels she's owed these free trips for putting up with the kids on the actual school trips Hmm.

She's taken her daughter, numerous friends, and also men she's had affairs with

So YANBU, it CAN be more to do with the teachers than the kids

At my school one teacher insisted on being involved EVERY YEAR and she REFUSED to fly so days and days of our trips were taken up with loooong uncomfortable coach trips across Europe to our destinations

Do a good family holiday instead!

MissSayuri · 15/02/2012 19:11

When my dd went on holiday with the school, the forms specifically stated that the cost of the participating teachers' holiday was 'included in the price'.

LikeAnAdventCandleButNotQuite · 15/02/2012 19:12

What would bother me is the vast age group with so few places...what if you paid up and your DC were the only one it their age group? Or, there were only a tiny number of y8 students and the rest y11? I don't know how they would tailor the trips to suit each age group tbh (if they'd just opened it up to y10 and y11 I would say it would be more appropriate).

I don't think all trips need to be educational, as there is more to be learnt in your teen years than academia, but I think it is a heck of a lot of money...could you afford this each year? If he goes to NYC now, what about ys9,10,11 if they have such expensive trips then....which more of his classmates may well be going on. Would he have to miss out on these?

Chandon · 15/02/2012 19:14

I would (and will) not let me DC go on trips like this.

It is unnecessary and indulgent, and they are too young IMHO.

I would feel no guilt or shame for pulling out either. I would not be angry, I would just not buy into it as I just don't believe bringing my children up like that.

It is just shockingly extravagant, decadent even, especially in these times.

Feminine · 15/02/2012 19:15

Too young.

AmberLeaf · 15/02/2012 19:15

As much as I dont like all these trips and the expectations, I have to say that the teachers going are working its really not a holiday for them.

Would you find risk assessing the arse out of every movement and being utterly responsible for the well being of 20-60 other peoples children relaxing?

Of course the teachers shouldnt have to pay for their own trip, the school should pay for it as the teachers are not on holiday.

noblegiraffe · 15/02/2012 19:15

Why are you even considering saying yes? This should just be a straight out flat no for a Y8, unless you could think of a very good reason why he should be going.

Lunabelly · 15/02/2012 19:17

Old primary school just did 8 days in France for £500. This also covers the teachers costs, of which there were almost as many as there were children. Have heard all the tales of drunken teechurs from unimpressed pupils

noblegiraffe · 15/02/2012 19:18

If teachers had to pay to go on school trips, none would go and the trips would have to be cancelled. It's not a holiday, and if they had to pay, they'd be better paying to go with their own family and friends instead of a horde of teenagers.

HD3000 · 15/02/2012 19:20

3 days is a stupidly short amount of time, when considering the length of the flights etc.

I think it?s a badly planned trip, it should be stretched another couple of nights.

MrsHeffley · 15/02/2012 19:22

I wouldn't object to teachers being paid for in the cost of the price for those foolish enough to send their kids on said jolly but if it came out of funds that belong to kids not going I''d be livid.

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 15/02/2012 19:24

£800 is a bargain for three days in NYC. I would send my ds if I could.

Cherriesarelovely · 15/02/2012 19:24

Blimey, that is really ummm unbelievable! I don't know many people that could afford that and in fact it is more than the price of our flights for our summer holiday and not much more than we would pay for the entire holiday for all 3 of us. I agree with you OP!

BendyBob · 15/02/2012 19:25

Why do schools persist with this sideline in travel agency? Hmm I honestly don't get it.

They offer the most outlandish and £ trips like this and yet an art trip to a gallery? 'Nope we don't do anything like that' was the answer dd's art teacher gave me when I asked it they ever took them to actually see any paintings.

DavidaCottonmouth · 15/02/2012 19:26

I don't think £800 is a lot for what they are getting. The flight alone will be something like £400.

NYC is expensive! The last time we were there, we felt like we were haemorrhaging money and that was for just 36 hours.

For a comparison, put together a budget of how much a similar trip would cost you as a family, and it would soon put everything into perspective. You can look up all the admission charges on the internet.

The biggest concern I would have for the trip the OP describes is the mixed age group (fine if you are in Y10 or 11, but not so much for Y8).

Anyway, no one said this trip was compulsory or even recommended. It is simply an offer. It shouldn't be that hard to say no to your DS. I do this kind of thing all the time.

cricketballs · 15/02/2012 19:26

if he is only year 7 then I am sure this trip will run again before he leaves school.

It is not uncommon for a 3 day NYC trip and to be honest, £800 sounds cheap compared to other NYC trips I know other schools run

YouOldSlag · 15/02/2012 19:28

Another point to make: I have always wanted to go to NYC and I have worked hard all my life. It's top of my wishlist and I long to go.

If my DS was 11 and went before I did I would be very pissed off!

manicinsomniac · 15/02/2012 19:29

'wonderful opportunity' blah blah blah, great if you can afford it, I would have thought everyone would be aware that lots of people just cant afford this.

But if they can't afford it they won't go? So it isn't an issue.

If people who can afford it want to go I don't see the problem.
It's no less of a wonderful opportunity for those who go just because others can't afford to go. That's life.

My daughters attend the school I work in. The school has trips to Barbados, Canada, Italy, France and several in the UK. We are a single parent, average single income family. None of the abroad trips bar France are compulsory and there's no way I will be able afford for my girls to go on them when they get to the right age. But I support the trips fully, they are awesome and the children that go get so much out of them.

And the teachers' costs certainly don't come out of the school funds - what schools has funds that could accommodate that?! Depending on the trip the cost of the teachers is either divided between all the children going or, in the case of a non educational, fun trip, the teachers pay themselves.

mrsjay · 15/02/2012 19:31

wow just WOW I would say no very loudly and be marching up to the school and demanding why they need to go to NY for 3 days , I wouldnt pay that for my dds to go to Italy skiing was for 6 days and 2.5 of those days was on a coach , I shake my head at schools I really do ,

Original poster
ENormaSnob · 15/02/2012 19:31

I am swaying towards a no.

I needed other unbiased opinions as I feel guilty. Like I'm depriving him of such a massive opportunity Sad

I agree that all trips needn't be educational but don't really want to shell out 800 smackers for a jolly. It doesn't mention teachers but I assumed parents would cover the costs.

Polegra, our letter states it would be £1500 to do it separately.

OP posts:
DavidaCottonmouth · 15/02/2012 19:33

But, mrsjay, what is the problem if the school finds 40 willing participants? Surely then it is OK if they pay up and go?

Or is it a case of if I can't go, then no one else should either?

mrsjay · 15/02/2012 19:33

My daughters have been to music trips to london I even Hmm @ that but they did take music so loved the musicals and sight seeing , Im not sure if they are education but an experience , i dont see how they can say its educational trip ,

upahill · 15/02/2012 19:33

I think if my lad had brought the letter home I would be pulling out all the stops to get him there.
What a fantastic opportunity even if we had to eat beans on toast every day for a couple of months.
And then I would do it again for my next lad a couple of years later!!

I get that it isn't very curriculum based but what the hell. I would start saving now if it was me!

mrsjay · 15/02/2012 19:34

800 quid for 3 days is absurd and not needed even if parents can afford it ,

DavidaCottonmouth · 15/02/2012 19:34

OP, cricketballs made a great point - this trip will run again within the next few years.

Just fob your DS off with that. Tell him he will enjoy it more when he is older (true).