To wonder how many Sociopaths you have come across?

[Impsandelves]

Just read The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout after hearing it mentioned in another thread.

I feel as though I could list possibly 2 family members, a couple of friends past and present, as sociopaths to some degree.

Am I being unreasonably paranoid?! Or do you feel you have come across a few too?

A friend at school I will never forget how actually evil she was and I don't use that term lightly. She took pleasure in others suffering.

Also a friend from college, although less overtly cruel. She is like a blank emotional canvass and will look v confused when I talk about feelings or empathy.

She is not a bad person in her heart but will do bad things to others and not know how hurtful if that makes sense...she really has no feelings. I have known her for 20 yrs.

A few, I've worked in sales.

The ones I've known are terrifyingly destructive but the most horrible thing is that they operate under the radar.

I have a now ex friend who I thought was amazing for quite a few years. By the end of our friendship she had convinced me to move out of my beautiful little pad and give her almost all of its contents. She also wanted me to move into her spare room and pay her stupidly high rent! So glad I didn't move in.

I had a weird and very damaging relationship with one when I was about 21/22. Really couldn't comprehend the relationship and his behaviour at the time, especially since everyone else said he was so charming and funny. I'm older and wiser now and I know a bit more about sociopaths and that they do actually exist.
DP says his ex-boss was one. Apparently they are over-represented at CEO level. There was a good Horizon programme a year or so back.

valhar There's me saying not all salesmen are sociopaths!

One definite, an employer. He now has to be careful what countries he goes to because of his trail of shit.

Another possible, a flatmate, but I think she's actually just narcissistic - she doesn't have that hard edge of really wanting stuff and getting pleasure out the manipulations. She just likes the world to be comfily built around her, and then she can stop because that's her happy.

I've learnt an awful lot from lovefraud.com

www.lovefraud.com/

An ex and an ex friend. Both startlingly destructive, manipulative and cruel but nobody who didn't know them very, very well would ever believe it which is frustrating because I'd like to share this theory with others but am worried they might think I am the one who has something wring with me due to both of them being so bloody charming.

Emotions as I know them don't touch either of them. The only thing that ever riles them is having their egos threatened at which point they attack - frighteningly and in underhand and unbelievable ways, starting poisonous rumours etc. I try for minimal contact but they are very hard people to extricate from your life and both have attached themselves to friendship groups, colleagues etc which makes them even more dangerous. Perhaps I should set them up...

My next dor neighbour is a sociopath. Reports me to social services, RSPCA etc. I haven't guven her the time of day for three years but it doesn't stop her from talking to me and expecting an answer. She is currently teaching her 3 year old GD to hate my guts too. I, to this day do not know why she hates me so much.

Yep, definitely in some form either sociopath or narc, I can think of at least five or six, possibly more who I have forgotten. Scary And a startling proportion of the men I know or have known, too :( (Although one of them is a woman).

I know one who I would consider a genuine sociopath. He committed a terrible crime but although he admitted his guilt to me was acquitted in court. I wouldn't like to meet him ever again.

If you recognise a Sociopath to "some degree" they may have a personality disorder.

I would say that a good amount of parents whose children end up in the CP system have undiagnosed disorders, of some sort. These are usually only identifiable by the emotional damage that they cause in their children. They are "interesting" to assess but because this is something that there realy isn't an answer to they make up the most difficult to work "in partnership" with.

It isn't a good when they manage to get into positions of power, which is easily done just by giving birth.

After reading that list I am glad I either haven't met many or I've not noticed/managed to avoid them.

Unfortunately I was married to one. It leaves you reeling as the lies are so well constructed you begin to doubt your own sanity at times! But that list, ex-h is on target for nearly all of that description. Master manipulator and I berate myself for being so stupid as to fall for it. Luckily he only appears now and again, when he is reminded or wants to play at being dad to dts (10) - they want no part of him though as they've seen through his lies pretty quickly. Quicker than me!

Two I know, for sure. One is an ex bf. Dead now, thankfully. and the nightmares have stopped

Crikey, just read that lovefraud link. Feel a bigger fool now!

(Four 1/2 years after he left he still has a financial hold over me. But at least the ow is getting taken for everything now - she chose a winner that's for sure!)

My ex-boyfriend was one. Possibly a psychopath. All I know is I was in a relationship from 13-17 with him, he took my virginity and he was the biggest cause of my relationship issues and self-esteem issues. Plus, he was a complete twat a vile person.

An ex-manager of mine is definitely one. A bigger, nastier, more manipulative cow I've yet to meet; because of the stress of dealing with her, I was hospitalised more than once, and she eventually cost me my job.

I know tons but I was married to a musician

I think my son might be

ILoveDaintyNuts - why do you think that? I am presuming your son is not a child? It's very commendable that you are aware of your son's personality, some parents can be so blind that it is damaging. I know of a child who is a dreadful bully, really arrogant and manipulative, even at primary school. His mother blamed EVERYONE but him, although oddly, he was always the common denominator. She isn't doing him any favours though because eventually (hopefully) he will meet someone bigger and stronger -mentally if not physically- who will stand up to him at it will be the shock of his life.

mrsterrypratchet couldn't agree more about the musicians, football is another 'profession' with a higher number of sociopaths than others. The good thing about actual footballers is most of them are too thick to be able to hide it for long.

My mother was married to one, he is my definition of true evil. He charmed her away from an unhappy (but safe) marriage with lies and promises then when he had her under his spell he showed his true colours.

You could go for weeks thinking everything was fine then one small incident (like one of us getting up for a glass of water at dinner without asking) would set him off. Furniture and accusations would be thrown - each member of the family would have listed to them in turn all the things they'd unknowingly done 'wrong' and be told what worthless, ungrateful people they were. Nobody was allowed to leave the house. If things got really bad (when he locked my mother in one room while keeping the children in another) and someone tried to phone for help he would cut the telephone wires. He would threaten awful things - letting our dog out on the street to run away or be hit by a car for example - and destroy treasured possesions that could never be replaced. Sometimes one of us would manage to call 999 (you get good at distraction) but the police could never help, seeing it only as a domestic matter - after all no-one was being hurt were they?

He was violent and rough in his manner but he never actually hit any of us, he was way too clever for that. You would just be forced to beg and plead and reason with him until you had no pride or energy left then at last he would calm down and life could go back to 'normal' - until the next time. The phone would be fixed, the house put back to rights and often flowers would be given or a family treat arranged which we would all go along with feeling sick in our hearts because we felt we had no alternative.

The happy ending to this is that after many years my mother finally found the courage to escape this evil man and is now happy with one of the kindest people you could meet. She is not the same person as she once was though - at her worst she can be paranoid, panicky, clingy and irrational. The rest of us who lived with him are OK, bitter but able to get on with our lives. It never leaves you though, sharing a part of your life with someone like that cannot fail to leave emotional scars and rightly or wrongly I hold that evil bastard directly responsible for things that have gone wrong in my own life.

That's my definition of a sociopath, I definitely feel I knew one.

I belive about 4% of the population are raging sociopaths, but that strong heirarchies that give power to hierarchical position tend to attract them.

I know someone at work who I was friends with for 2-3 years. There was always something not quite right with him, but I could never put my finger on it. He was charming, intelligent and very intense. However there was certain incidents that happened that made you just think... What the hell?

Like organising a night out for everyone, then at the last minute doesnt turn up because someone wronged him. Latching on to certain girls in the office, getting friendly with them, then having huge aggressive outbursts because they didn't do something he wanted.

He had very underhanded, subtle manipulation with everyone he met. On the surface, no one could see anything wrong, it's only when you got to see all the individual incidents as a whole that you could see something that wasn't quite right.

I finally did some research, and I am utterly convinced he is a sociopath.

Even now I couldn't just tell everyone what he is, because they wouldn't believe me. Only a few people that have seen everything he has done could understand it.

I'm just keeping my distance until he slips up, and has to move on. It's happened before and it will surely happen again.