to ask most embarressing but funny and true thing your DCs have said?

[youcantpolishaturd]

Thought it could be a bit of a laugh :)

My DH and I were attending a local club motorcycling competition but had taken my 2 GSs with us because we were babysitting for the day (a necessary babysit and couldn't get out of the competition). We were not riding that day. The GSs were something like 6 months and 2.5. We had taken a pot with us and the older one wanted a poo so I took him behind some bushes with it. Left him to it while I attended to the little one.

He emerged from the bushes carrying the pot, took it over to his SGD who was with a group of riders and beamed while telling him, "Look GH, I've done a poo!!" The other men roared with mirth.

DBro2 aged about 5 in a dentists waiting room when a woman with dwarfism walked in- "Mummy, mummy, look at that little lady! She is SOOOOOO cute!" Mum was mortified but the lady said it was the best reaction she'd ever had

DBro3 aged around 3 was constantly interrupting my mothers conversation with a friend. Eventually the friend (who didnt have much patience with children) snapped "oh for Gods sake, go and play! Here, take this (plastic toy). You like monkeys, go play with the monkey" DBro looked completely incredulous and replied "Snot a monkey. S'an ape 'cos it ent got an tail, stoooooooopid." Mum looked a bit red but said "Well... he is right, Lil..."

Dsis aged 11 in the cinema suddenly out of nowhere asked very loudly "Mum, whats a clitoris?" When told it would be explained to her later she began to insit that she had to know what it was that very instant. The popcorn cashier had to leave the counter for laughing so hard.

Ds2 age 2, big loud voice in park after being taken to the loo by my friend "Don't worry mummy, Jane's got a furry front bottom too" .

God there's soooo many!

Ds2 wrote in his weekend newsbook At school in yr 1 that we went on holiday for weekend, mummy drank too much wine and was sick in the sink

Recently at dinner we had an adult friend over and dd said she 'I am a lesbian and I'm not going to say anything appropriate'. Assuming she doesn't really know what a lesbian truly is apart from being two ladies who love each other. This was not too bad but it got worse, much worse

Having also recently learned the real names for body parts I heard her delightfully boasting to all ds2s friends at his birthday party that she had a vagina AND a vulva and they only had a penis so nerrrr!!!!
This did nzot ESP embarass me but ds's friends were a bit

Theres bee more much much more
I'll prob be back!!

When dd was about 4 she told me "mummy when u bend down in the shower your boobies look like sausages!" (True) and then she followed it with" your toes are actually quite slim compared to the rest of you!"

My then 3 year old dss asked me in a&e whether we had to see the 'brown doctor' again and then remarked outside x-ray that he had 'loads of these haven't I'.

He also regularly told anyone that would listen that when his head itched he had lodgers and once remarked to his dad 'I can't wait until my cuckoo is as big as yours daddy '

Looking forward to all this again with dd :)

DH and I went through a phase of eating a gateaux in the evening when DCs were in bed , in the packed supermarket one Saturday morning, DS1 aged about 6, in a very loud and pitiful voice pipes up " mummy, pleeeaaase can we have a value yoghurt.....as you and Daddy have a big chocolate gateaux?" The whole queue went quiet and stared at my trolley before people started to giggle, and yes, there was a gateaux in the trolley!

I was sitting on the bus with DD (then aged 3 and a half) when this older woman came on. The woman looked very wrinkled and old, with very obvious died red red. DD saw her and asked me at the top of her voice..."mum, what's that man done to his hair?"

I was sitting on the bus with DD (then aged 3 and a half) when this older woman came on. The woman looked very wrinkled and old, with very obvious dyed red hair. DD saw her and asked me at the top of her voice..."mum, what's that man done to his hair?"

These are gems! Let's have more, please.

My Ds came out of the kitchen telling me how he was playing a pink oboe.I was scared to look,but was relived to find he'd rolled his ham into a tube!

DS,aged 4,said thoughtfully,"I feel sorry for Nana,her face is a little bit crushed". Luckily his grandmother found it hilarious and proudly told all her friends.

When DS1 was about 18 months old DH & DH's best friend went through a stage of trying to teach him words.

They taught him how to say 'special' and because DS was so excited about learning to say such a 'big word', he used to shout it out every time he said it.

I was in a the scope charity shop one day, who regularly employs people with disabilities and SN, with DS and DS2 in the pushchair.

The woman in the shop started going on and on about 'how sweet' they were (she had some kind of SN - not sure which one).

Just as I was turning round to head out of the shop DS chose to shout out 'special' really loudly.

I really hope she didn't hear/wasn't offended but I didn't hang around to find out!

Come one everyone! There must be more.

When mine were small, I folded my Silver Cross twin push chair (side by side type) and got on a bus. I paid my 2d. Yes 2d. We had to stand. My 2 year old DS asked it's always loudly, isn't it why the woman standing next to him had only one leg. The other passengers tittered. The woman was perfectly all right but was standing sideways with her bag between her feet so my little DS could see only one leg!

I was sitting with my dd and my own dad just chatting in general when my dd (aged 4) suddenly said 'mummy, does papa know you have a hairy front bottom?' for NO reason. My dad quickly changed the subject but my cheeks went bright red!

When my DS was at nursery school, 3 years old, he was invited to play at a new friend's house. When we arrived there was a huge sepia type framed photo of the friend's mother on the wall in the hallway - her hair was long, dark and flowing and it had been styled to make it look as though it was blowing in the wind. My son looked at it and in a voice, loud enough for us all to hear, said "mummy, is that a witch?" She looked absolutely horrified but I have to say, he did have a point!

When dd and I were in a mother and toddler toilet she announced very very loudly "oh mummy you've hurt your bottom and need a plaster in your knickers".

Another mum said a naughty word and apologised when ds was there for tea when he was about 5 and apologised. DS sweetly put her at her ease and said "it's OK mummy calls me and my sister a pair of little shits sometimes".

I'm sure there have been lots of other gems over the years.

Howling at this thread

Recently I was swimming with ds2 (4) and a larger lady got in. Ds2 shouted at the top of his voice 'Mummy why has that lady got such a fat bottom'

Ds1 and Ds2 both constantly go up to people in wheelchairs and ask 'Mummy why are they in that chair?'. I was embarrassed the first couple of times but thankfully both times the person in question answered 'because my legs don't work properly unlike yours'. I am no longer embarrassed to answer the same.

Ds2 also asked me how babies are made and 'how did I get out of your tummy Mummy?' in the middle of Asda. There was some sniggering! Thankfully as I had a section I have a less embarrassing answer than some

My 8yo DS2, when he was 6yo, went up to his dad, poked his forehead, and said "Daddy, why do you have a wiggly head? It looks like wiggly worms."

My DD HATES to be reminded of this story. When she was 3yo, we went to the supermarket. It was one of those trips where everything you went there for was sold out. There weren't even any bananas, so I told DD that "A greedy gorilla must have eaten them all".

On the way home, we had to walk past the bus stop, where there were two ladies of an, erm, larger persuasion. DD, in the volume that only toddlers can perfect, turned to me and said "Look, Mummy, is that the greedy gorilla? Is that lady so fat cos SHE eated all the food in Tescos?" .

I wanted the ground to open up. What made it even worse is that the ONLY way home was to walk right in front of the ladies. AARRGGHH!!

Or the time she was shouting "BUGGER, BUGGER" at full volume on the High Street. I was until I realised she was pointing at the McD's sign, and wanted a burger.

Cock-lick was another, highly embarassing one, shouted whenever we were in a sweetie shop. "Want cock-lick, mummy, want cock-lick". CHOCOLATE of course.

Or the time that newly-vocal 4yo DS2 (He has SN and didn't talk at all till 3.6yo) was on the bus, and there was a larger man on the bus. He was VERY loud, shouting "Look, Mummy - fat man. Man fat. Why man fat? He FAT Mummy. He fat like two mummies. Not one. He fat like TWO mummies. LOOK MUMMY fat man get off bus. Why fat man get off?"

And NO amount of hissing shutupshutupshutup at him would make him STOP!!

My then 18 month old DS shouted in the middle of Tescos that he "needed to see Daddy's cock" errrrm, that would be "watch" son!

Pmsl!!

Dd once asked in the supermarket if the larger man in front of us had ate to many pies? I said no and tried to shush her she then pointed out that he had a good 10.pies in his trolly!!

At my grandfathers funeral 2 weeks ago she kept telling everyone loudly that were sad because gdad is dead, when the hurse was pulling away she kept saying that were saying goodbye because he's dead, then she would say dont worry he's in hospital to get better ge will be back soon, she was sooo loud at a time when everyone was quiet and mourning.

When of with DS she liked to point out everyday how big I was getting! Told a boy at Kindy lastweek he was a naughty little boy and she would put hum on the naughty seat.

Oh and announced this morning when I was in the shower that she can see my bum

I really need to stop trying to type on ph while breeding.

When I was pg with DS dd like to point out how huge I was getting...

That what it was ment to say ^ damn auto correct

Dd us 3.9 btw

Oh I'm laughing so loud at some of these !
My 2 (18 months and 3 years old) love to come and watch me on the toilet (Had a lock but it broke, need to get another one) and announce 'Mummy did a BIG wee !' loudly when we leave the house. WHY ??? are all the neighbours outside when this happens ???
DS 1 took a fancy to the cat down the street and reported to his grandmother (loudly of course) that the cat 'has grey fur, a white tummy and a white willy.'
Also announced in the supermarket he liked to 'eat poos and drink wees.'

My ds who was 5 at the time asked my db (24) to take him for a wee and show my ds how he holds his willy as my ds says he gets wet trousers when he goes, i went so red! My ds has also had a poo in a display toilet at one of those DIY stores again i just went red.

Pooing in a display toilet is classic! On the cock-lick for chocolate theme my DS (2yr) used to call oranges 'oh-minges'. 'Oh-minge, yes, puh-lease.'