to wonder how DH holds down a very serious, grown up job when he is so utterly incompetent

[OhdearNigel]

DH is a detective sergeant. He holds people's liberty in his hand, controls rape investigations and takes control of murder scenes. He has had to give evidence about finding bodies that have been searched for months. He keeps control on dozens of serious investigations at any one time and manages a small team of experienced detectives.

With this in mind, you would imagine that, having told him last week "can you ring your mates and tell them DD's birthday party is postponed until the same time, same place next Sunday" that I would not have just had the following conversation:

DH " Did you phone Steve and Mich and Mike and Lucy, T & V and Brian & Margaret to tell them that the party is tomorrow"

Me "No. I asked you to do that"

DH "I assumed you were doing it"

Me "Why would you think that when they are your friends and you know perfectly well I don't have their phone numbers. And why did you not just tell them when you phoned to tell them it was postponed. Jeez, you really could not organise a piss up in a brewery"

AIBU to wonder how the fuck anyone in senior management trusts my DH to manage a bag of Safer Neighbourhoods stickers, let alone a murder ?

I manage a team of 73 people, work with a budget in the millions, and am responsible for making sure all risk, regulatory information and timescales are met for one of the largest UK based companies.

I forgot to take the washing out of the machine three times meaning it needed washing again, then I forgot to hang it out, I forgot to get various household essentials whilst doing the stressful task of online shopping

Little ones dad is a SAHD who is self employed, he also has a full time job picking my home slack up.

I am awesome at work though and make actual money so e has to just put up with it

But I don't know how I manage to function so well at work but am wearing odd socks

I wear odd socks because my right ones always get holes in them before the left ones do, and I'm reluctant to throw away a good sock.
Of course, others think it is because I am a free spirit who rebels against sock-related conventions

OP my DH is same profession and rank as yours - but in totally different area of work ,he does delegate alot at work not becuase he is lazy but the nature of his work , he tries to delegate to me - but I tell him where to go

My dh has a demanding, resposible proffessional job, but he can wipe his own arse, and wash dishes, and care for our children, and knows where his socks are etc etc

maybe he is superman

in any case i sure am glad he knows i am not his PA or a kind of domestic appliance

Urucrlager - i can't recall anybody saying that...
I love my clever husband and his foibles but doesn't make him perfect and yes I will laugh/cringe/be astounded at his daftness at him as he does at me. :-p

Dh is a senior project manager. Can he multitask at home? Not a chance!!

Are we reading the same thread wonkylegs?

"Apparently he can only concentrate, be patient and take care when in a hospital at home he gets frustrated within 10seconds and has a tantrum of epic 3yo proportions if anything requires more than a small amount of effort."

"Ask him to do something small and DC related and it all goes tits up."

"Total fuckwit"

"AIBU to wonder how the fuck anyone in senior management trusts my DH to manage a bag of Safer Neighbourhoods stickers, let alone a murder ?"

Quite strong stuff. If you really think your husband is a "total fuckwit", too incompetent to hand out stickers or find he throws temper tantrums at you like a three year old (this sounds on the verge of being abusive) then maybe you should perhaps do some long hard thinking about your marriage.

I just had to click when I saw that LeQ had posted - tell us about how he lost a car again :)

Stealth, I love 'you've got your own brain, you don't need storage space in mine'. Excellent. Am going to use that on dh next time I tell him about some appointment or task and he says 'remind me about that'. NO! I'm telling you because you need to remember it! (e.g. someone's invited ds to play after school - dh is currently the one at home so needs to know this and check if that date is convenient and let the other mother know).

Although to be fair I have a busy responsible job but can be a bit chaotic ditzy at home. I had to stop trying to go and see one dentist because I'd forgotten the appointment, re-booked and forgotten it again... was too embarrassed to re-book a third time, just went to a different practice.

Difference is I don't expect dh to be in charge of everything I don't want to be bothered with.

uru - maybe you'd be better off reading more serious threads instead of derailing this light hearted one.

a good opportunity for everyone to boast and be smug.....

I think YABU... he has a serious job, the clues in that really. Although I'm sure your child is one of the most precious things in his life, phoning people for social events probably is low on his list of priorities.

Though it must be frustrating.

Help him out, either keep nagging, or get the phone numbers and DIY.

I'll probably get shot for saying that.

I don't think of it as boasting, I think it is a perfect example of how someone can be effective and efficient at work and a pointless appendage at home, I also think if anyone should be boasting it is stay at home parents, I couldn't do that, the place would be a wreck and me and baby girl would be eating out of takeaway cartons for breakfast

DH helped unpack the shopping earlier. Have just found a bunch of daffodils in the salad drawer - upon being questioned he thought they were spring onions! OTH I had forgotten I had picked up a bunch of daff buds. We have now had a bet for a £1 about whether they will be open by tea time tomorrow .

Has anyone else thought that this thread links awfully neatly with the one about why SAHPs allow their partners to work very long hours spend nights away from home travelling?

I would probably have put the daffodils in soup and tried to blah a heston style fusion cooking experiment.

I must have missed that thread...

My DH is the same.

Very important job managing millions of pounds worth of stuff! and saving the company thousands and thousands of pounds

But....................

'does not understand the boys' wardrobe' so I have to get the clothes out for them whenever I go out before him!!!!

*blag

dya know what. dh and i have jobs of equal importance - although to be fair i have more reponsability, staff and budgets to consider

and yet i can remember that wednesday is bin day.

i even wrote it on the calendar

jobs are not an excuse, its an indicator of respect in my book and how much or little you are thought of.

Agree custy, it wouldn't matter what my occupation was, I'd still suck at life.