to say DD can't have any cake?

[QueenOfFeckingEverything]

Cake sale after school today - I bought various cakes before DD (8) came out of school. They had no change on the stall at that point, so I said to keep it and that DD could choose a cake to the value of the change when she came out. DD came out and chose a small cake, and then I had to go and talk to her teacher.

While talking to the teacher, DD was hovering round doing her Sad Face at me - I told her to wait patiently, she huffed at me and wandered off across the playground, muttering about how unfair it was that she only got one cake yada yada humfybumf.

After speaking to the teacher, I found DD eating more cake. Turned out one of the other mums had taken pity on her (she'd been whining about how the other children were all getting more cake than she'd had) and given her 50p (which buys a lot of cake, but stupid cake sale pricing is a whole other thread). I found the other mum, thanked her, and offered her 50p back but she laughed and wouldn't accept it. Then she told me (still laughing) that after she'd given DD the money, DD had said to her 'Haha, my begging face worked on you' to which the other mum had said she'd remember that next time, and DD had gone on to say 'No you won't, adults never remember anything'. I was and apologised rather a lot.

I'm pissed off and have told DD so - I think that was rude, ungrateful, and greedy. I now have cakes that were to be shared after tea, but I don't think DD should have any more after that display of cake-fuelled rudeness. AIBU?

BTW I did tell DD to apologise at the time, but the other mum wasn't having any of it, she found it funny.

No, not at all. That was very rude behaviour and she needs to know there are consequences.

YANBU.
I think she's had enough cake and her comment was pretty rude. (Even if partly true..)

YANBU that's more than a bit cheeky isn't it?

Especially for an 8yr old.

I would be cross too.

Oh please, this is just an 8 year old trying it on - can't you see the humour in it? Choose your battles! I am sniggering at the thought of her doing sad faces at people

My DD would not only be banned from cake after tea, but also given a very stern taking to about respect and deceitfulness. I'd be furious with her! And I'm very surprised you even need to ask if you are BU. Your DD was rude, deceitful and disrespectful. Why wouldn't you punish her?

The woman was laughing it wasn't as if she tole you dd had been really rude to her.

Ah the wonders of the cake stall, I've had so many rows about it with the kids/parents (price of cakes, I won't charge a child £1+ for a fairy cake lol) that I am so glad I avoided ours today.

50p. One cake per child.

I know its a fundraiser, and I am not precious about my kids eating cake, I just hate the greed it provokes. I've no problem ripping off adults on a cake stall, but not the kids.

YANBU... children need to learn self control, and at 8 (my eldest is 8) they start getting quite savvy and pushing limits in quite a contrived way, for that, your dd is normal and obviously pretty smart... but you're totally right to punish wrong behaviour. Try it on with me, and my kids know about it. I'm no fool so don't treat me as one etc etc.,

Glad I'm not alone.

Though I do agree with Valium that its not a big enough issue to create a drama over... don't stay cross for long.

I would have told her off for being cheeky , but its not such a big deal if the other mum was laughing

Nope valium, don't agree with you. 'Seeing the humour' in it is giving the message that that sort of behaviour is ok - and I don't think it is.

I'm not saying that I'd stay cross for ever, but I'd share remaining cakes out without making a fuss - but tell DD that she'd already had hers. Which she has.

YANBU. I hope you enjoy the cake yourself

The other mother may have laughed it off, but I bet she was glad you apologised.

No cake would have been the least of my DD's worries if she had done that.

I can't imagine calling my child rude, ungrateful and greedy after him chancing a bit of cake! I probably would leave the cake until the next day as it sounds like she's had enough but really, this is the stuff that we will laugh over when we are old and great and they've left home!

YANBU. She was being rude, and I wonder if the other mother was laughing out of embarrassment IYSWIM?

I don't think its a big deal , I'm with you valiumredhead

Oh thank God usual and there was me thinking I was the worst mother in the world

True Valium but it should still be addressed... I agree with you about not frothing, but I would have probably said "That was cheeky, no more cake for you" too... with a smile, and a small amount of pride even for him thinking out of the box and chancing his arm, I'd have probably rolled my eyes over his shoulder to the other mum... I certainly see the humour. But I'd still be the big bad mum by making him apologise and denying him more cake.

Ok it's not the biggest deal in the world, noone is saying that, but is it something that you'd want your DC to think was ok?

YANBU! That was a very manipulative thing your dd did, I think you are going to have to watch out for her!

I mean that in the nicest possible way btw, I'm not trying to be rude. But for an 8 yo to do that, I think she is going to become very wise at using her best assets!

Oh well, clearly I have no sense of humour. My DC would agree.

If it was ds he wouldnt have got any cake either Im afraid.

I think that I would have laughed tbh

Completely depends how it was said and the tone as to wether I would be cross. I think the fact the other mother was laughing shows that it wasn't said in a rude nasty way.