Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Was I mean or sister ungrateful?

77 replies

ilovebabytv · 09/02/2012 22:30

DSis asked me for a lift to the MU (which is in another town) to get a scan. She is 6 weeks in pregnancy and was having pains so went to gp who got her a same day appt for a scan. She asked me at 1.00pm and the appt was at 2.30 so was very last minute. I was working in the morning and come home at 12.45 so was just sitting down to lunch when she called and I said yes and she asked for me to get her at half one. However had to get dc2 ready (he was having his usual nap when i came in from work so that was disrupted and had to organise a liquid lunch for him which he could drink out of a bottle in the car) so was running a bit late in picking her up. She was not happy with this. Got her to the hospital in time (just) but I wasn't sure if she would be 2 mins or 2 hours (depends if the MU is busy or not - I was pg 2 years ago and was in and out due to bleeding so know how it works) but as she had her dp with her I said I would nip into town to get some shopping and she could phone me when she was finished. Getting into the town centre took ages due to bloody roadworks and was just in the shop door when she called to say she was ready. I told her i was just in the shop door and would get what i needed and then come collect her. Unfortunately by the time I got what I needed and back through the road works dsis and her dp had been waiting over an hour. But there is a cafe where she could have had a cuppy or read a magazine and seating in the hospital so not like she was waiting out in the cold. The result that she was very aggressive towards me on the drive home. Not directly mentioning she was angry about having to wait but basically any discussion topic brought up resulted in her disagreeing with me v. aggressively and practically screaming at me. Spoke to DM later who told me that Dsis had called her to rant about having to wait an hour at the hospital. AIBU on having my dsis wait for an hour or (as I think) should she just be bloody grateful that I dropped everything to take her through, otherwise she would not have got at all. Sorry tis a long, not particularly exciting, ramble.

OP posts:

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 09/02/2012 22:33

Paragraphs woman, for the love of cheese !

And yabu, the poor woman is probably stressed as hell, she's allowed to be snappy.

LizzieMo · 09/02/2012 22:34

YANBU- you were doing her a favour, and you have every right to go shopping or whatever whilst you were waiting. She could have got a bus/taxi if she did not want to wait.

ImperialBlether · 09/02/2012 22:35

Tell her to stop behaving like a spoilt brat. You dropped everything to be her personal taxi and she should be grateful for that, not nasty.

aldiwhore · 09/02/2012 22:35

You were both a little U.... her for being ungrateful, you for buggering off into a roadwork infested town and then carrying shopping, but its really no big deal.

On the other hand, YANBU because you were doing her the favour so who cares if she waits for ages? Like you say, there's a cafe etc.,

On the other hand (I am an octopus) was there never a discussion along the lines of "Hey sis, really sorry the roadworks are awful I'm going to be a while" or "Sorry you had to wait for ages the roadworks were shit".

Ignore ignore. She hormonal and had a worrying day, you did her a favour and feel unthanked. Send her a 'love you' text and forget about it.

charitygirl · 09/02/2012 22:36

Stressed or not, I would never behave like that to my sister who was doing me a favour. YANBU!

SparkleSoiree · 09/02/2012 22:36

She was rude to have a go at you and should have at least said 'thank you' for stepping in at the last minute. If she was desperate to be home by a certain time she could have called a cab.

YANBU.

AKMD · 09/02/2012 22:36

YANBU but presumably she has had an awful scare and you should probably cut her some slack this time round. Give her a call tomorrow and see how she's doing.

Original poster

ilovebabytv · 09/02/2012 22:38

Sorry ACT, I shoulda stuck some paras in there!

Personally, I just dont think being stressed is a good enough reason to be aggressive and mean towards someone. Like I said, I was where she is 2 years ago, in and out of hospital for pregnancy related problems, and I was never nasty or aggressive to anyone.

OP posts:

dearjane · 09/02/2012 22:38

I don't really care know tbh.

I just want to know what the liquid lunch was that you prepared for your DC to drink out of a bottle as my mind boggles.

ShineYourButtonsWithBrasso · 09/02/2012 22:39

Did she pay for your petrol at least? Do neither of them drive/own a vehicle?

yanbu.

muffinflop · 09/02/2012 22:39

You never told us the outcome of her appointment. I'm imagining they hardly slept last night worrying, was tired, had good news and wanted to go home and sleep. But you were doing her a favour so she should have been grateful.

ShagOBite · 09/02/2012 22:41

Also wondering about the liquid lunch.

QuintessentialyHollow · 09/02/2012 22:42

whiskey with cheese, one should think.

Original poster

ilovebabytv · 09/02/2012 22:42

AW, she called my mobile twice, once when she was just out of her appt, and I told her then that I was just in the shop due to roadworks and I would try to be as quick as possible but there was about 25 mins drive back to the hospital and then she called again about 30 mins later just as I was getting into my car and I told her I was on my way. Its normally just a 5 min drive from town into hospital and vice versa and I didn't know there were roadworks until i was stuck in a traffic jam trying to get into town centre.

OP posts:

BrianCoxHasScaryHair · 09/02/2012 22:44

I think it's 50/50 in all honesty.

Turn it on it's head - you're stressed, early pg, bleeding and need to get to hospital so you turn to your family. Then they go off to town to do some shopping and leave you waiting for an hour to be picked up when really all you want to do is go home and cry/feel sick/put your pjs on.

I understand where you are coming from too, but given the circumstances - sometimes you've just got to roll with the punches.

Original poster

ilovebabytv · 09/02/2012 22:46

QH, we are in a recession, so having to withhold cheese .

Ds loves nestle cerelac so i just made it with slightly more water and gave it to him in his bottle.

They gave her a scan and the baby is fine, but they found blood in the womb which they think is a bruise? so she has to go back in two weeks time. I tried to be reassuring in the car but she was v. rude to me back.

OP posts:

BigFatHeffalump · 09/02/2012 22:47

Surely Op meant milk?

Op is sis normally ungrateful? If so, she was probably being herself- if she isn't she may just be very scared and snappy. Ignore it this time.

BigFatHeffalump · 09/02/2012 22:48

That would sound scary to me op and I'd just want to go home tbh if I were her.
I suppose you were doing her a favour but would still be hard to not be scared

muffinflop · 09/02/2012 22:48

Cereal...in a bottle?! Eeek

I had a haematoma in pregnancy twice and both babies were fine

dearjane · 09/02/2012 22:48

I'm sorry, please flame me and take the piss out of me OP as I fricking hate it when people pick out bits of the OP that just aren't relevant. But I am really doing a cats bum face at cereal in a bottle.

The fact that you mention it was nestle cereal, however, makes me wonder if you might be pulling our legs though...

Original poster

ilovebabytv · 09/02/2012 22:49

This was literally me when I was pg. Miscarried 1 twin at 10 weeks, and suffered from heavy bleeding throughout which saw me hospitalised on a monthly basis practically. Maybe Im just unusual but I never took it out on anyone else.

OP posts:

Kayano · 09/02/2012 22:50

I was in mau for assessment today and was told all was well

We booked a taxi and had to wait 10 minutes. I was cold and miserable and had to wait by entrance to look out for taxi. So depends where she was waiting and if you gave her an ETA and if that was near enough right

She didn't have great news and was probably not in a great state of mind anyway. Was she actually aggressive or just short/ blunt with you?

squareheadcut · 09/02/2012 22:51

i know - you are being a lovely sister she's probably hormonal, that sounds like my sister she can't see past her own stuff sometimes (actually that's most if the time)

Original poster

ilovebabytv · 09/02/2012 22:51

nestle cerelac, its baby food. Made with water and its the same consistency as milk. I dont see the problem?

OP posts:

Gumby · 09/02/2012 22:51

I'd have stayed in waiting room tbh as I'd have wanted to know ASAP if everything was ok

But can't her dp drive? Will you be ferrying them both about forever?

Flip

1 2 3 4