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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I mean or sister ungrateful?

77 replies

ilovebabytv · 09/02/2012 22:30

DSis asked me for a lift to the MU (which is in another town) to get a scan. She is 6 weeks in pregnancy and was having pains so went to gp who got her a same day appt for a scan. She asked me at 1.00pm and the appt was at 2.30 so was very last minute. I was working in the morning and come home at 12.45 so was just sitting down to lunch when she called and I said yes and she asked for me to get her at half one. However had to get dc2 ready (he was having his usual nap when i came in from work so that was disrupted and had to organise a liquid lunch for him which he could drink out of a bottle in the car) so was running a bit late in picking her up. She was not happy with this. Got her to the hospital in time (just) but I wasn't sure if she would be 2 mins or 2 hours (depends if the MU is busy or not - I was pg 2 years ago and was in and out due to bleeding so know how it works) but as she had her dp with her I said I would nip into town to get some shopping and she could phone me when she was finished. Getting into the town centre took ages due to bloody roadworks and was just in the shop door when she called to say she was ready. I told her i was just in the shop door and would get what i needed and then come collect her. Unfortunately by the time I got what I needed and back through the road works dsis and her dp had been waiting over an hour. But there is a cafe where she could have had a cuppy or read a magazine and seating in the hospital so not like she was waiting out in the cold. The result that she was very aggressive towards me on the drive home. Not directly mentioning she was angry about having to wait but basically any discussion topic brought up resulted in her disagreeing with me v. aggressively and practically screaming at me. Spoke to DM later who told me that Dsis had called her to rant about having to wait an hour at the hospital. AIBU on having my dsis wait for an hour or (as I think) should she just be bloody grateful that I dropped everything to take her through, otherwise she would not have got at all. Sorry tis a long, not particularly exciting, ramble.

OP posts:
BrianCoxHasScaryHair · 09/02/2012 22:53

ah yes, OP, but - we all react very differently to stress.

As somebody else said - is she normally a spoilt brat? If so, she is BU. If not, take it on the chin and offer her a shoulder to fret on.

dearjane · 09/02/2012 22:53

Ooooooh. Cerelac. I don't know wtf that is. I thought it was a typo and you meant cereal.

Anyway..your later posts imply that you feel your sister should behave exactly as you did in a similar position. Well, for that YABU. We are all different.

Kayano · 09/02/2012 22:54

Maybe they can drive
But you know what MAU are
Like... You may be 2 mins or 4 hours. I got taxis today because you wouldn't know how long to park and parking itself may be hard

BigFatHeffalump · 09/02/2012 22:56

I'm pretty sure putting cereal in a milk bottle was almost standard until fairly recently so doubt the Op is going to kill her kid by doing it as a one off to help her sis out. If she had stopped for mcdonalds on way she'd have gotten abuse for that and really the baby shouldn't be eating solids in the back of a car anyway incase he chokes

Seems a pointless thing to make a cats bum face for. Hmm

Bogeyface · 09/02/2012 22:56

I wouldnt have behaved like that after any of my miscarriages, and if I was that desperate to get home I would have got a taxi.

She was rude and there was no justification for it. Next time just say you cant take her.

Original poster
ilovebabytv · 09/02/2012 22:57

Kayano, the bottom level of our hospital is like a shopping mall, has a cafe, newsagent, some shops, hairdresser, and a seated waiting area. I felt a little bad that she might not have had money to get a coffee or that while she was waiting but she made me stop for a mcdonalds for her and her dp on way home so she had money. And she was v. aggressive, think screaming and swearing.
She is known in the family for being short tempered.

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 09/02/2012 22:58

Oh and my two penneth about the bottle....

if i a child can feed itself out of a bottle then it is too old for a bottle and should have a cup!

BrianCoxHasScaryHair · 09/02/2012 22:58

but what would be worse would be blending the Maccy D's and putting that in the bottle!

(DD is 8, I can't remember the rights and wrongs, but in an emergency, you do what you gotta do)

dearjane · 09/02/2012 22:59

But it's screamingly common bigfatheffa - didn't you know that anything other than milk or water in a bottle is for the lowest common denominators only? Shock

BrianCoxHasScaryHair · 09/02/2012 23:00

She's short tempered? Then, given the circumstances, I'd be upset and if I was naturally short tempered anyway - it can only lead to a bad place.

Suck it up OP. Not fair, but ask yourself - would you have left her without transport to the hospital in the first place? If not, that shows that even with her attitude, you are the 'better' sister in this situation.

dearjane · 09/02/2012 23:02

"but as she had her dp with her I said I would nip into town to get some shopping and she could phone me when she was finished"

Do you think she hoped/expected you to stay and support her instead of popping round the shops? Or was she happy for you to leave?

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 09/02/2012 23:04

I'd tell her to fucking well take herself to the hospital next time! Stressed or not, there is no excuse for screaming and shouting at you.

I am laughing about the liquid lunch though, sorry OP! Babyfood in a bottle! Nice!

Original poster
ilovebabytv · 09/02/2012 23:04

Parking is a nightmare, I think most nhs hospitals are like this. I just dropped her off as there wasn't any parking and just managed to squeeze into a 10 min pick up point when i got back. Dsis and DP cant drive neither and would take 2 buses to get there. She will probably ask me to take her back for her next scan, and I probably will have to oblige as there's no one else to take her. Neither Dsis or her dp are working at the moment so I dont think they could afford bus fares and definitely not taxi fares.

OP posts:
Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 09/02/2012 23:05

YABU - Your sister had to go for a scan because she had pain and you kindly agreed to give her a lift. Instead of waiting you go on a 50 min round trip to go shopping? Why didn't you take DS to hospital cafe to have some food while you waited? Then she gets an inconclusive scan and has to go back and you bitch that she was snippy because she was hanging around for an hour??

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 09/02/2012 23:07

Neither are working yet they're having a baby? How do they plan to support the baby financially?

BackforGood · 09/02/2012 23:07

What BrianCox said.

I think for you to carry on shopping for half an hour (when you knew you still had to negotiate the roadworks and take 25mins to get back) was thoughtless of you. She was no doubt very worried, stressed, scared, etc., and just wanted to go home and cry.
Cut her some slack.

Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 09/02/2012 23:07

Obviously screaming and shouting was inappropriate but being rather cross - well I would have been in her shoes.

Original poster
ilovebabytv · 09/02/2012 23:08

If she had been on her own I would have stayed with her but she had her dp with her and I didn't want to be overcrowding the mu, which whenever I went was always really really busy. I dont think she was bothered about me leaving tbh.

OP posts:
BrianCoxHasScaryHair · 09/02/2012 23:09

ah, Hexagonal - no generalisations now, this isn't a Tory Party conference after all!! Wink

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 09/02/2012 23:10

Twas a question borne of genuine interest, Brian Cox Grin

BrianCoxHasScaryHair · 09/02/2012 23:10

Step away from the Daily Mail now....Grin

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 09/02/2012 23:12
Grin
Original poster
ilovebabytv · 09/02/2012 23:12

Oh fuck, I probably shouldn't have mentioned that detail on here Blush. Lets leave that for another thread.

OP posts:
IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 09/02/2012 23:13

Wtf are they doing having a baby when they are both out of work?

Your sister sounds awful. Really awful. Sorry.

Does she usually expect the rest of the world to provide for her without having to do anything for herself a.

BrianCoxHasScaryHair · 09/02/2012 23:17

Ok, who else for MN bingo - OP , what's your stance on Greggs Sausuage Rolls and Fruit shoots?

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