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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was I mean or sister ungrateful?

77 replies

ilovebabytv · 09/02/2012 22:30

DSis asked me for a lift to the MU (which is in another town) to get a scan. She is 6 weeks in pregnancy and was having pains so went to gp who got her a same day appt for a scan. She asked me at 1.00pm and the appt was at 2.30 so was very last minute. I was working in the morning and come home at 12.45 so was just sitting down to lunch when she called and I said yes and she asked for me to get her at half one. However had to get dc2 ready (he was having his usual nap when i came in from work so that was disrupted and had to organise a liquid lunch for him which he could drink out of a bottle in the car) so was running a bit late in picking her up. She was not happy with this. Got her to the hospital in time (just) but I wasn't sure if she would be 2 mins or 2 hours (depends if the MU is busy or not - I was pg 2 years ago and was in and out due to bleeding so know how it works) but as she had her dp with her I said I would nip into town to get some shopping and she could phone me when she was finished. Getting into the town centre took ages due to bloody roadworks and was just in the shop door when she called to say she was ready. I told her i was just in the shop door and would get what i needed and then come collect her. Unfortunately by the time I got what I needed and back through the road works dsis and her dp had been waiting over an hour. But there is a cafe where she could have had a cuppy or read a magazine and seating in the hospital so not like she was waiting out in the cold. The result that she was very aggressive towards me on the drive home. Not directly mentioning she was angry about having to wait but basically any discussion topic brought up resulted in her disagreeing with me v. aggressively and practically screaming at me. Spoke to DM later who told me that Dsis had called her to rant about having to wait an hour at the hospital. AIBU on having my dsis wait for an hour or (as I think) should she just be bloody grateful that I dropped everything to take her through, otherwise she would not have got at all. Sorry tis a long, not particularly exciting, ramble.

OP posts:

BrianCoxHasScaryHair · 09/02/2012 23:17

Apoliogies for typos, kitten on face.

skybluepearl · 09/02/2012 23:18

what was the result of her hospital visit? no wonder she is stressed. she shouldn't have taken it out on you though. an hour in fine to wait considering there is a cafe close by and you were doing her a last min favor

Original poster

ilovebabytv · 09/02/2012 23:23

I protect my children from these horrors by eating them all to myself. Unless im in a hurry, in which case i blend them with fruit shoots and feed it to them out of a bottle

OP posts:

bobbledunk · 09/02/2012 23:31

She was being extremely rude and ungrateful. Leave it for the moment, next time she demands you rearrange your day to be her personal chauffeur, make it very clear, "after last time? no way!"

whatnoketchup · 09/02/2012 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bogeyface · 09/02/2012 23:34

I bet the cost of a macdonalds would have gone along way to the cost of a taxi. I live an hour away from our hospital by bus, 15 minutes by car and approximately £6 away in a taxi. So you could have driven them there and they could have forgone their maccies and got a taxi back.

They sound worse by the second tbh. And if she is that vile when she is made to wait for a free lift what on earth is she going to be like when her new baby is screaming the house down with colic or whatever?

blackeyedsusan · 10/02/2012 00:07

why shouldn't the op go shopping. she has put off whatevere she had to do this afternoon to do a favour for her sister, maybe she has had to rearrange her week and make sure that the dc have stuff like, food, milk, nappies, liquidised md's parking at our hospital would have cost a fortune anyway and there were nop parking spaces, so she could hardly stay parked on double yellow/red lines

Bogeyface · 10/02/2012 00:13

It took her half an hour to get into town and the DSis then rang to say she was done?

Thats unheard of at our MU! You are lucky if they have acknowledged your presence after half an hour never mind had your scan etc :o

Bogeyface · 10/02/2012 00:13

Arrggh, submitted too soon! I was going to say that if I was the OP I would have assumed I could do a weeks shop, take it home, put it away and get the dinner started and then still have a good wait before picking them up!

CumberdickBendybatch · 10/02/2012 00:27

Sorry, but I think having pains and thinking that you are having a miscarriage is a very bloody good excuse for being snappy and rude.

Jesus...

CumberdickBendybatch · 10/02/2012 00:30

"if i a child can feed itself out of a bottle then it is too old for a bottle and should have a cup!"

Oh, what bollocks

Bogeyface · 10/02/2012 00:35

A) I had several miscarriages over the years and never treated anyone like this, much less if they had been kind enough to put themselves out to get me to hospital, as my best friend did. I did the same for her when she had her MC and she wants horrible to me either.

b) it isnt bollocks, and I have 6 kids to prove it. Bottles over the age of one year is laziness on the part of the parent, not need on the part of the child.

CumberdickBendybatch · 10/02/2012 00:37

I have had one miscarriage, and I definitely did treat people like this. I have never been so distraught in my life. Not an excuse, but it was the reason for my behaviour. Grief/bereavement do crazy things to people. Don't judge people by just your own experiences.

I don't give a shit about bottles - worry about something important. FGS.

Bogeyface · 10/02/2012 00:41

You brought it up, it was orignially merely an aside on my part as the conversation was about the OP feeding her child a "liquid lunch".

I think YOU need to find something more important to worry about FGS :o

The OPs sister didnt have a M/C, everything was fine. And rudeness is still rudeness and at the very least should be apologised for if it was out of character and stress induced. Out of interest, why shouldnt I judge by my own experiences when you are doing just that? What should I judge by?

CumberdickBendybatch · 10/02/2012 00:47

You should appreciate that everybody's experience is different and that you can't tell people how to be.

If you're doing passive aggressive smilies it's this one: :)

BiWinning · 10/02/2012 00:50

You're avoiding the multitude of questions asking how her scan turned out.

Bogeyface · 10/02/2012 00:52

I wasnt, I was laughing, so it is this one :o

I do appreciate that everyone is different, but I asked by what standards I should judge by if the only ones I really understand are my own?

Did you apologise to the people you were vile to after your m/c?

Bogeyface · 10/02/2012 00:53

Bi The OP said that the baby is fine

CumberdickBendybatch · 10/02/2012 01:05

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Kayano · 10/02/2012 01:13

The op said there was also blood and bruising and the sister had to back for further scans

CumberdickBendybatch · 10/02/2012 01:16

"Did you apologise to the people you were vile to after your m/c?"

No.

empirestateofmind · 10/02/2012 01:19

You couldn't park easily at the hospital and didn't want to wait with her and her DP in the waiting room, which seems fair enough so went to do some shopping. You were then delayed by an hour.

It was unfortunate but not the end of the world. Your sister knew where you were as you were on the end of a phone. She could sit in a warm cafe and wait. She wasn't alone.

Then she had a go at you. After you took her at short notice and at some inconvenience.

If my sister behaved like this I would not be taking her anywhere again.

Bogeyface · 10/02/2012 01:22

I missed that Kayano. I just think that as the OPs sister has form for being a cow, this isnt about her circumstances but about her personality and it isnt on to treat someone like that.

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 10/02/2012 11:03

I agree with Bogeyface

ISayHolmes · 10/02/2012 12:05

She sounds foul.

And the fact that she then called up your mother to bitch about you after treating you like garbage makes her sound deluded about her own behaviour.

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