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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wonder at this child-rearing advice?

75 replies

MissusTulip · 09/02/2012 14:17

Ds is 15 weeks old and a bit of a handful - he has reflux which was pretty bad til he started on ranitidine at 8 weeks and which is settling as he gets bigger. As a result of the reflux, he's a bit of a velcro baby (couldn't sleep flat due to pain / vomming so DH / I had to hold him upright to sleep at night, now sleeps in his cot). He doesn't sleep much during the day (again needs held for naps, not managed to change this yet) and does seem to struggle when awake if I dare to put him down eg on his baby gym. Again this is changing as he gets bigger and more interested in the world around him.

I had pretty bad SPD/PGP when pregnant and saw a women's health physio. I'm still seeing her - pelvic pain gone but back is now duff. I had an appointment today and was kind-of dreading it as DS hasn't been sleeping well over past week, so I've been slack about doing my exercises. When I admitted this , she (yet again) launched into her child-rearing advice. Last time, it was a bit of a rant about women who breastfeed lying down / co-sleeping / babies being in the same room as mum and dad...

Today's gem was - 'have you got a pram so you could put him out in the garden for a couple of hours a day? My children loved this when they were babies' and so on. I just sort of looked at her and muttered that it was a bit cold really to think about doing this at the mo!

Am I being a bit pfb or did this sort of thing go out of style in the 1950s? The physio is at most in her early 50s...

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 09/02/2012 14:20

It was probably recommended in her day.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 09/02/2012 14:22

Is it really so daft? We think nothing of wrapping them up and taking them for a walk in the buggy. Stationary pram vs moving buggy? Can't be a lot of difference.

FedUpOfTheBunfightsSeaCow · 09/02/2012 14:24

You are being a bit pfb sorry.

NorksAkimbo · 09/02/2012 14:25

My MIL did that with my PFB once when she was babysitting...I nearly had a heart attack! But apparently, it was recommended in her day (and PFB, now 5 has not suffered any ill effects from this traumatic incident)

In seriousness, have you considered a stretchy wrap type thing? My DD had terrible reflux as an infant, and she lived in her Kari-Me wrap. My back was duff, too, but I found that because she was strapped close, I could carry her for hours without too much difficulty.

lesley33 · 09/02/2012 14:37

I have 4 kids. The 1st two were great sleepers. The 3rd was a nightmare and cried all the time. I tried everything. In desperation I followed this advice - and it really worked. For some reason ds would sleep outside in the fresh air, but not inside - and was best if just left without any fussing. And as long as he was well wrapped I don't see the problem.

I am not saying it will work for you. But it might be worth at least trying?

Original poster

MissusTulip · 09/02/2012 14:39

i do take him out in the pram for walks , just think there is a difference between a walk and dumping him at the bottom of the garden for 2 hours to 'chill out'... So it was the leaving him outside with the door closed to stare at a twig or scream til time was up I wasn't impressed by!

Norks, yup, have a close carrier but he doesn't like his arms and head being covered and screams like he's being murdered until I take him out. He's a bit more amenable to being in it facing forwards. He also hates the baby bjorn MIL bought for him. DSis lent me a swing which he quite likes but which can lead to mucho puke. Doesn't bother him, but would like to give it back without baby sick aroma wafting from it!

OP posts:

EMS23 · 09/02/2012 14:40

I can see the idea but when my MIL suggested it for my 5lb newborn in -5c temps, I politely declined!!

gourd · 09/02/2012 14:45

LO always fell asleep in her pram and would sleep for 2-3 hours if you didn't wake her up, so rather than wake her when we returned from a walk I would either lug pram into the house with her in it and try to unzip her coat etc without waking her, or if weather was good and it was warm enough I'd leave her in back garden where I could see and hear her (I was about 90cm or 1m away through French doors) till she woke. I'm sure this must be what they mean, rather than bunging an awake child into a buggy and dumping them outside. Obviously whether you can leave a baby in a pram outdoors for any length of time depends on the weather and how well wrapped child/buggy is though!

Iggly · 09/02/2012 14:49

Try a different sling. baby bjorne aren't great facing out - they used to make ds sick (he had silent reflux). And the close was no good once he got bigger!

I now have manduca which I use for DD (10 weeks) and she can see out of the top of it when facing me so is happy in there!

Can I ask how you got your ds (and when) into his cot? DD too has silent reflux and sleeps on me. We have her on meds but she still suffers with wind.

thefurryone · 09/02/2012 14:52

This was still quite normal in the 1970s, apparently I had all of my daytime naps in the garden when I was a baby, my Mum claims this was the only place I'd sleep. Thinking about it with DS there were a couple of times when I was taking him out in the pram that he fell asleep whilst I was locking the front door, maybe I should have tried it with him!

I should point out though that both DS and I are spring babies, there is no way I'd be doing it in this weather.

lesley33 · 09/02/2012 14:55

I did it in cold weather too - although I made sure he was well wrapped up. After hours of screaming I recknoned having him sleeping outside in the cold, but wrapped up, was better than him continuing to scream for hours indoors.

perfectstorm · 09/02/2012 14:56

My mother used to do this with my son. It drove me frantic and I HATED it, as we had a back gate via an alley and a lot of burglaries happened around there, and he'd have been slap bang in the way. She also used to put him in the front garden of her house in central Birmingham, I later found out.

I suppose I should just be glad she was enthused about modern parenting after I shoved Why Love Matters at her. She's big on theory; give her a book on something and she's a convert at once.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 09/02/2012 14:56

"leaving him outside with the door closed to stare at a twig"

DS used to be completely zonked if he was parked on the patio (not the bottom of the garden) for the afternoon. Don't think he had time to stare at anything tbh.

perfectstorm · 09/02/2012 14:57

Oh, and wrapping my son up made/makes no difference. Cold triggers asthma attacks. You can't wrap up what goes into his lungs. Had to get our GP to spell this one out to her.

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 09/02/2012 14:58

My mum did it with us too, and that was mid-eighties, so its not that long since it was acceptable. I dont do it, enclosed garden so not worried about strangers, but my neighbours have loads of over-friendly cats!

You know if you did it, you don't have to put the baby at the bottom of the garden, they could stay by the back door

candr · 09/02/2012 14:58

I usd to run a nursery and all the babies slept outside, under cover when it rained unles it was too cold. They were wrapped up according to the weather and slept well. My DS often sleeps outside especially if we have been for a walk and he falls asleep in pram as if I bring him in the change in temp wakes him or having to take of layers so he is not hot. Can prop him up in pram and put harness on and can by a mozzie net to stop bugs etc landing on him. Only do it if you are happy though otherwise you will just stress but give it a try and see how you feel.

Iggly · 09/02/2012 14:59

I wanted to do this with DD (my second) as DS napped very well on fresh air. However she does not like to lie flat in a pram and I don't really have an immediately accessible outdoor space within ear shot (I wouldn't leave her to cry).

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 09/02/2012 15:00

My mum did suggest though that, while the fresh air is of course good for a baby, its the fact that they are looking up at the bright sky and need to shut their eyes as its too bright that actually makes them sleep?

SuchProspects · 09/02/2012 15:03

My friend from Denmark does this - it's standard child rearing there apparently.

lesley33 · 09/02/2012 15:08

perfectstorm - I wasn't saying it would work for everyone. Just that it did work for me.

thefurryone · 09/02/2012 15:08

Lesley I was actually thinking more about the rain, but then you probably don't know it's raining where I am

I have a baby due in September and I may have to consider it if he's anywhere near as bad at napping as DS was.

GrendelsMum · 09/02/2012 15:10

My friend does this (with both her DC so far) even in quite chilly weather, and they seem to sleep much better than inside the house. I was quite unnerved when I first saw it, but they're very well wrapped up, and they really do sleep for ages. They go within sight of the window, not at the end of the garden!

redexpat · 09/02/2012 15:15

I'll second that prospects! I'm in denmark and all the babies are out in their prams to sleep. My HV was v keen to encourage this. That's what we use our baby monitors for. Plus the duvets and sleeping bags are REALLY good so it's ok down to minus 8, although I cant quite bring myself to do it at such low temps. I don't really understand why you wouldn't (assuming you're in a house or flat with a garden).

PeskyPiskie · 09/02/2012 15:19

I did this with my DS, it was the only way I could get him to nap in the day time. He would go outside, awake, whatever the weather and sleep for hours. It was lovely . He also didn't like being put flat and was a velcro baby so until he was big a pushchair was ideal because it didn't have to be flat. Have you at least tried him sleeping in the pushchair in the house.

NewYearsRevolution · 09/02/2012 15:24

Hmm, depends what she meant.

My grandma simply wheeled my mother to the bottom of the garden and left her there for 2-3 hours a day. Wrapped up if it was cold, but no checking, no nothing. She could have cried for the full 2 hours and no one would have heard.

OTOH, some babies do seem to like to sleep outside, so if you have a safe garden and wrap them, and put them where you can see and hear them, I don't see any harm in that.

It's whether it was simply a suggested sleep location, or a 'dump them where you can't hear them' advice IMO!

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