to think the term 'normal delivery' should be banned from use by medical professionals?

[maxpower]

I had to have an emcs with DD and was devastated by it. But what continued to upset me was the way other people referred to VBs as being 'normal' - as if I was somehow abnormal because of what had happened to me. I think it'd lessen the feeling of failure that can come with emcs or assisted deliveries if the term 'normal delivery' wasn't used. They could be called 'independent deliveries' or 'unassisted deliveries' instead.

some areas use "spontaneous vaginal delivery" instead

oh for heavens sake!

erm no

But some people go have 'normal deliveries'!! You can't change fact just because some people feel like a failure. (your words)

I had to write an essay on this as a student midwife. What is normal these days?
Also the research says to call it a 'normal' delivery that should mean a spontaneous vaginal delivery with no intervention. So no forceps, no induction, no arm etc.
I genuinely don't think the medical professionals are being derogatory when they refer to a vaginal brith as normal. As a student observing births and assisting women giving birth a 'normal' delivery would be marked svd in our record books. I also referred to them as svd during my qualified practice.

Try not to let it upset you maxpower, difficult i know. I;ve had 3 c/s, one was emcs after failed induction two planned for breech and one svd that was 6 weeks early, personally id say give me the c/s, the pain relief is much kinder. (flippant remark i know so sorry if it doesnt help at all). I try to look at it as mum and baby are safe and well and thats the best outcome no matter which mode of delivery occurred.

Normal just means within the expected range/experience.

I don't have normal eyes, I need glasses.
I don't have normal intelligence, I'm very clever.
I'm not normal in my height, I'm so far beyond normal for height I would qualify as having a growth problem if it were in the opposite direction!
I don't have normal joints, they're all funny and get painful.

I am normal when it comes to my health record and I had a hippy-normal delivery.

I can understand it rubs it in for you and in other contexts that's why people avoid using words which may have that effect (think 'disabilities' vs the other recent options).

Personally I would try to avoid taking it personally and try to focus on emotionally recovering from the experience - have you had counselling or anything? That can be very helpful for people with traumatic birth experiences I'm told (by those who've had them).

YABU.. but you are also thinking it wrong in thinking that you were a failure too.

Normal - standard - usual

They all mean the same, and it is just being negative to assume that anything different to "normal" means "abnormal", because it doesnt.

I'm sorry - YABU.

Vaginal deliveries are normal.

I've had a CS and a VB and I can sympathise with you but it's daft to say people shouldn't describe it as what it actually was for fear of upsetting someone.

But a vaginal delivery is biologically normal. It is your issues making you feel like a failure, not the term used for vaginal births.

Well what if other people don't like the terms you've suggested, OP? Should each person be canvassed as to the words to be used and should the various professions be expected to spontaneously check the vocabulary for each patient/client before doing anything else?

I think I personally couldn't care less at the terminology used and I wonder at the capacity of some people to fuss into oblivion about what other people do and say.

no one else sees you as a failure because you had emcs.

An unassisted delivery, to me, would mean no help at all not even a hands off midwife.

It's easy for me to say but a VB is normal. It's how most give birth and it's biologically normal too. A CS is not unusual and not abnormal - I wouldn't say they are polar opposites. A baby born via th ear canal would be "abnormal"

I don't think it would help you with your feelings towards your birth. Have you spoken to someone about it?

Sorry but YABU that is normal...not nice you feel like a failure though

But vaginal birth is normal. The norm. What usually happens. EMCS is not what usually happens.

But to use the word 'failure'? Surely EMCS should be seen as a success, as it normally ends in the successful delivery of a live baby to a live mother?

What is a normal birth then?

Sorry you feel bad, but YABU.

(I get told here that I didn't have a natural birth because I had an epidural. Just prefer not to suffer, me...birth is just a means to an end surely? At the end of the day only complete weirdos would bother caring how anybody gives birth.)

If you're that bothered by a simple word, you need more help with it than everyone else changing their language.

Personally I think the real problem is the idealisation of the birth process which gives so many people ishoos, over-expectations and unrealistic wishes. We need to dial it all back to basics: you have a baby inside you, get it the fuck out with minimum injury to all, whichever way you can and whatever way you want, within reasonable expectations. Thats all.

I rather liked the fact that my EMCS wasn't "normal" -- in a sense it legitimised for me the fact that DS had been an awkward little beggar right from the beginning and we'd had to go to extra lengths above and beyond the "normal" to get him out .

However, I think every medical professional I've seen has referred to the two birth routes as "c-section" and "vaginal delivery" rather than opining on normality.

I do know someone who's had four actually unassisted births by herself in her bathroom (although her DH was in the house, just in another room). She's in the US in a state where she can't readily get a VBAC any other way.

But to use the word 'failure'? Surely EMCS should be seen as a success, as it normally ends in the successful delivery of a live baby to a live mother?

You are right of course, but what your head knows and what your heart feels are not necessarily the same thing.

I had an EMCS and couldn't get my head around the way everyone referred to it as having 'given birth'. As far as I was concerned I didn't give birth - my baby was cut out of me - that was how I felt at the time no matter how unreasonable it may seem logically. I got over it eventually but even 8 years later I still get that tiny voice in my head when the subject comes up.

So...I can understand where OP is coming from, but spontaneous vaginal delivery is a bit of a mouthful so not sure that replacing the term with that is ideal either!

[ouch emoticon] at ear canal birth!

I'm not keen on the word normal but for other reasons. My ds's 2 & 3 have SN, DS1 doesn't. I find it offensive when people refer to DS1 as "normal" because it infers that his brothers are "abnormal" and/or that DS1 is boring, which he isn't . Not sure if it's just me who thinks normal = boring though.

YABU and I seldom say that. I had a ELCS for DD. I was actually told I was a failure on two counts. Not delivering DD normally and failing to BF. Fuck them, I had a healthy DD, albeit a bit skinny.

Yabu

YABU. It just means straight forward, vaginal delivery. And I'm sorry that you feel like a failure for having an EMCS, but of course you're not. As long as the baby and mother come through he whole thing, I tend to classify that as a success.

They could be called 'independent deliveries' or 'unassisted deliveries' instead.

There is another thread going that doesn't like the word "delivery", its semantic shift Thursday alright!

Soon I think Human Infant Carrier Units (HICUs) will have Small Human Nurturing Sub System Evacuations (via Vaginae or Caeserean).

And there will be those frothing that the word "Human" is offensive to other species and wanting to repalce it with Bipedal Mammalian.

You read it here first....

In many cases, the 'normal' outcome of a birth which ended in emcs doesn't bear thinking about.

I agree that the wording could be changed though. What's wrong with assisted/unassisted?