to think the term 'normal delivery' should be banned from use by medical professionals?

[maxpower]

I had to have an emcs with DD and was devastated by it. But what continued to upset me was the way other people referred to VBs as being 'normal' - as if I was somehow abnormal because of what had happened to me. I think it'd lessen the feeling of failure that can come with emcs or assisted deliveries if the term 'normal delivery' wasn't used. They could be called 'independent deliveries' or 'unassisted deliveries' instead.

i think it's easy to criticise people for being bothered about a "mere" word but hard to understand their sensitivity unless you have walked in their shoes, it's clearly an emotive subject for the OP and we should have sympathy.

Only you see your self as a failure no one else.

Really? You feel like a failure?

I think you should concern yourself with your own feelings rather than expect the rest of the world to change to suit you.

I had a medically necessary scheduled CS. I am in no way a failure.

You can have sympathy without agreeing whatsoever. But too much sympathy doesn't help, especially when you are perpetuating problems by giving them too much credence.

Whatever word you use someone won't like it. Assisted/unassisted, people will complain that its unfair to imply they couldn't do it alone, independent then someone won't like the notion that they were dependent, and so on.

Far better to sort out the actual root, which is that for some reason we've all bought into the idea of it as "an experience" that should be X, Y and Z.

get a grip

I had a cs and felt like I'd won the lottery; I just think assisted/unassisted is more accurate to us laymen.

Very interesting. I'm fascinated how a significant number of you have told me I feel like a failure. I never actually said that. (And I'm not being touchy or defensive, I'm just stating a fact )

If a mother opts for a cs for medical reasons or otherwise (I'm talking about elcs here) I wouldn't imagine they feel a failure either. But would they like to be told they weren't normal?

Swapping the word 'normal' for 'unassisted' is hardly rewriting the defintions of uterus etc as suggested earlier in this thread. It's just about HCP demonstrating some awareness of the emotional impact that obstetric interventions can have on a mother.

In medical terms 'normal' is simply a reference to the physiological norm.

And the physiological norm is a spontaneous vaginal birth.

It's not a term with any moral weight to it.

I do wish women wouldn't give themselves such a hard time. No normal grown up cares how they were born. Just that they were.

I don't think changing words and titles will fix how you feel, just as I know my saying it doesn't matter whether you pushed a baby out your fanjo, had it dragged out by forceps or ventouse, or had a c-section will make any difference to how you feel.

I think it'd lessen the feeling of failure Your words.

It isn't normal. Or even common. C-sections are the minority. Would you prefer natural instead of normal?

But 'unassisted/ assisted' doesn't really cover it... I was induced, then gave birth vaginally, so I was assisted, but didn't have a c-section...

I agree with the OP - if only because a non-medical professional won't know the definition of 'normal'. My first pregnancy ended in an induced delivery (following a spontaneous rupture of membranes). I was asked at the booking in session for my second pregnancy if I'd had a 'normal' delivery and I had to ask them what they meant, because I didn't know whether an induced delivery was 'normal' or not.

If they'd asked me if I'd had a vaginal delivery first time round, that would have been much easier to understand. And easier to deal with if you feel sensitive about the fact that you hadn't.

Who cares..... We all have the same end result

paranoid you've hit the nail on the head:

Far better to sort out the actual root, which is that for some reason we've all bought into the idea of it as "an experience" that should be X, Y and Z.

Doesn't using the term 'normal' reinforce that fact that there is a formulaic process for giving birth?

"Would you prefer natural instead of normal?"

I would, actually. Just because it is understood by more people to denote a vaginal birth.

I think it'd lessen the feeling of failure that can come

not did come, MissMiddleton

paranoid, you are right, but also a bit of sympathy for OP (and not saying "FFS" etc as some have done) is needed IMO

my understanding is that 'natural' = no intervention of any sort including pain relief

I had a forceps delivery ds1 and a vaginal birth with no intervention ds2. I think 'unassisted' is not a useful term, because I was assisted plenty with ds2 - a normal birth does not mean you do not need assistance, both physical and emotional.

Thank god csections are easily available, they save lives, but serious abdominal surgery is not normal / natural. I have had abdominal surgery for non-pregnancy related reasons - I do not feel it makes me a failure, I'm glad it happened as it saved my life, but it was not 'normal', it was an unusual and highly medicalised intervention.

not really, because you're the one loading the term "normal", which has a simple meaning, with a moral consequence. Normal just means usual, typical, expected, which is what it refers to. If you legitimise the idea that its a bad word that hurts you, you're not doing anymore than faffing about with labels.

There is a usual typical "formula" (if you like) for giving birth, then there are the not typical, unusual, non-majority outcomes. There is only a value judgement if you make one, and arguing about terminology legitimises the idea that the labels have value judgements intrinsically.

If you're going to get picky, all births are assisted unless you're completely alone.

I agree 'natural' is a better sounding word though.

Though you're bound to get some perma offended people asking if that means they're somehow 'un natural' or 'super natural' or something....

OP you said you were devastated by the CS.

If it didn't bother you then why start the thread?

So you were continually upset by the use of the word "normal" for some completely different reason from the one that you put forward as your sole argument for not using it?

Iggly - I started the thread becasue I was watching OBEM and the midwife was asking a mum if her previous delivery had been 'normal' by which she presumably meant, didn't require any intervention.