To be scared of SS come knocking on my door??

[scared321]

I have a DS who is 2 and am 26 weeks pregnant with no.2. My DS is a mischievious little monkey, loves climbing and jumping and running like any normal kid. Well yesterday, he was running and tripped, landing on the coffe table corner and it resulted in a cut in his head. It didnt look deep, didnt bleed much, swelled quite quickly and he cried for a few minutes and was fine. But I wasnt, so took him straight to the local emergency walk-in clinic place. Just to be safe.

The nurse who checked him made me feel really uncomfortable, she was unsmiling, stared at me when i walked in but I explained to her properly what happened and tried to not let he accusing stares bother me. She looked at her computer and raised her eyebrows and stated 'well he had a similar fall 6 months ago,didnt he?' errr yes, and believe it or not it was the same wretched coffee table, we moved it out of the way after the first occurrence but its rotten luck he landed on it again. The HV did a follow up visit and had no concerns. [Since yesterday we got rid of table completely and given it to a friend (who has NO children)].

Anyway the nurse glued DS's cut and he was totally fine and happy as if it had never happenend. I felt reassured. When we were about to leave, she said 'you do know if he hurts himself like this again, it'll get flagged up'. I am still mortified by her words, I was too upset to ask what she meant but know it sounds bloody serious. I was in tears all evening, didnt sleep last night though DS slept great (i checked on him almost hourly). Sorry about my rambling, i havent slept and been worryingmyself sick. Being pregnant and hormonal is definitly not helping. Maybe am over-reacting.

Should i be so worried? What if he falls again despite me watching him like a hawk? Anyone had any experience of a child falling 3 times and 'getting flagged'?
Please be nice, I feel a failure as it is.

She didn't put it well but yes 3 visits to A&E could trigger a visit from SS - but you have nothing to be concerned about, children fall over all the time and you have already taken action and got rid of the table

You have nothing to worry about, they're not the bogey man or the child catcher I foster children and I've got one that constantly has bruises all over her legs (from football/martial arts etc) and I just record it when I notice them.

It is horrible for her to have made you feel like that. Afaik different areas have different policies for SS referrals but I can't imagine you'd get an unannounced visit.

I don't think medical staff should warn parents about flagging as genuine caring parents will be scared to take their children for treatment the next time something happens for fear of SS. This put a child at risk. If a parent were abusing a child they probably wouldn't seek help anyway, so that nurse was threatening the wrong sort of parent. I know they have to safeguard any patient but this is the wrong way to go about it.

Please, please don't be worried about this. All she means is that if he got hurt like this again, the hospital would let SS know. SS would look at it and do a quick check out. This might mean ringing your HV and GP to see if they had any concerns. And it might mean a short visit to check everything is okay. But it depends how busy SS are in your area. Where I live and work SS would not visit after a phone call with your HV and GP.

But this is to check you are not abusing him and it will be quickly obvious you are not. SS get calls like this all the time from hospitals. The majority of the time it is a quick few phone calls, maybe a short visit and then okay ignore, just another child having lots of accidents.

The only reason these accidents get flagged up is because some parents do physically throw their child around, hit them against walls, etc and then try and pass it off as an accident.

The worst that would happen is you would get a short visit from a particularly judgy SW would "tell you off" for not keeping a closer eye on him. But I really don't think you have done anything wrong. So please try not to worry about this.

Don't worry about it, they usually let your HV know and they come out and have a chat just to check that things are okay and you are coping fine. I've had a few visits because I have a child who likes to eat things she shouldn't resulting in a few A+E trips. They came out and we did a bit of brainstorming on how to minimise the risk of it happening again.

It's just a system in place that can flag potential cases for further investigation, but mum's who simply have accident prone children are recognised as that. A+E just have a duty of care to report these types of incident. Sounds like you got a grumpy nurse, usually things are explained and you are told not to worry.

Is their an age limit on the 3 visits thing.
DS1 is 13 and we always seem to be in A&E for sports injuries.
We have been twice already this year so far.

If your child has another accident that requires hospital treatment eg glueing or stitches then it will "flag up" and possibly generate a visit from a professional (your HV may make the first contact).

They will knock on your door, ask you about the injuries.

You should explain the coffee table and however the next one happened.

They wil go away and send you a letter which says that they are satisfied that thy were injuries and there will be nofurthr action.

They will liase with GP, HV etc, to information gather.

As Laurie said kids have accidents in foster care, school, nursery etc. SW's usually have children of their own, or were raised by humans (not grown as some would believe), we know children have accidents, why and how that happens. They will be happy with your explinantions.

In our case, the investigation took the place of the HV making a friendly phone call to ask were we all right. Absolutely not intimidating.

Miss- usually childen under 5, after that questions will be asked of the school etc.

If the child has been off a lot then a visit may be decided on. Children who are abused are kept off to cover injuries. There are good reasons for all actions taken.

There isn't one answer becaue it can depend on other factors eg easily and obvious sports injuries.

Thanks for the reassurance ladies, its made me feel alot better. Its just an irrational fear of SS i think, u hear stories and ive read alot of comments on here in the past.
DS has been playing up recently with me being pregnant and sometimes tired to play with him whenever he asks. He seeks attention by climbing on high surfaces and jumping etc. We live in a small apartment so not much room either though are hoping to move before baby is born.After his first fall i was too scared to leave him alone for even a second, and would strap him in pushchair just to go wee. And when i started relaxing a bit this happens :(

When DD1 was about 18 months old she hit her head on the handle of a rocking horse and had a bruise under her eye and the next day she hit her head on the radiator and had a cut on her forehead (very clumsy my dd). I took her to casualty and she was very carefully examined but there was no follow up. This was some time ago however.

DD2 did have 3 consecutive visits to casualty (3 weekends running) and to different hospitals. I was in contact with my HV for a serious health issue and she did mention in passing that she had received information about visits etc. but there was no follow up from SS. Accidents happen but I felt happy that in both cases things were checked as it meant hopefully an abused child would be helped.

It is mother guilt that is making you feel worried and she sounds like a miserable nurse

I had a similar incident when ds was a toddler, except that he was in A&E for an infected eye socket and neighbor's child was there later in the day for a chest infection or some such. Health visitor quizzed us both on why our children had been in a&e on the same day, with a clear suggestion that something untoward was happening. We tried to coordinate our dc's illnesses after that ....

OP- are you getting out to stay and play etc sessions near to you? Do you any Children's Centres etc that you could attend?

Please don't fret. I had a call from them and my hv after dd ended up in a&e 3 times in 3 months, first time a broken arm from slipping on bottom
Step of stairs, second time with a bumped head from bouncing off an iron girder after bolting in a shopping centre, she was too busy looking at me and laughing because I couldn't catch her. Third time she tripped while holding a teapot from
A friends play tea set and cut her hand as it broke when she landed on it. After a cup of tea and a chat from hv (who witnessed for herself at least 2 near miss falls whilst she was there, she saw for herself that dd was a live wire and far too busy to listen to some boring old fart like me to slow down and be careful, we discussed damage limitation and she left quite happy. She told ss she had no concerns. She wrote v. Active independent child on her report. Hyperactive and ignoring parents is more like it. Anyhow that was when she was 3 and she is now almost 6 and we haven't been in a&e in over a year :0)

My best friend (an amazing Mother, a proffessional and a very careful parent) had this happen as her son is almost 2 and has fallen many times....he's been to A&E twice with it....they waned her too and she was very upset.

I had a word with her...she is an excellent Mother, but she is also a bit TOO relaxed and tends to think her son is capable of more than is safe.

SHe let him run along a park bench repeatedly at about 17 months...there was concrete under it and I said "Oh that looks dodgy" and she sad "Ah he's fine"

And he fell off backwards....banged his head badly.

Maybe you just need to be a bit more carful? Dump the table....cover the corners of other furtniture and dont worry!

Birds - I do take him to playgroup at the local nursery when i can, i want him to release his energy there but he becomes all shy if its busy and will get one toy and sit there playing withit quitely. til we get home then he will start jumping around lol.

MCD - I understand what ur saying about being too lax - im the opposite, am a real worrywart and follow him around when we go to someones house. I was told by a family member a while back to chill out and not do that, as he would be fine.

My son has been to A&E far more than three times with various injuries, head injuries usually, as they're the only ones I'd be concerned about. He's clumsy. He once even managed to fall and cut his head open while I was in A&E with a badly twisted knee.

From the age of about 11 months (when he started walking) until the age of around four he was covered in bruises, he just seemed to fall over all of the time.

No one ever investigated us. Maybe they pass the information on and someone else decides if it's worth visiting?

theincredible - They may have investigated actually i.e. a phone call to the HV or GP who said no there are no problems.

A friend of a friend had lots of accidents with her baby that needed trips to a and e including a broken arm. They visited, listened to explanations and were satisfied and went away.

theincreadable- this has only been in force after 2009, after Lord Lammings recomendations were released to LA's after Baby P.

It is logged on a system, different LA's use different systems, everyone adds to these, or rather should.

Not every injury will be taken noitce of and they can start enquiries without a home visit and decide not to proceed with a visit.

This is why I do everything humanly possible not to have to go to A&E or NHS Direct with the children. Thankfully we have a GP in the family and his advice has been invaluable on so many occasions, particularly in relation to head injuries. Broken bones would be different of course, but I'd never set foot in an A&E unless I thought either I or the children were actually dying. And that's only a slight exageration...

That's pretty ridiculous and irresponsible sparkle. What are you afraid of?

I had to take my DS to casualty with a cut head last spring, and they asked for contact details of both our GP and the school but nothing more happened (DS tripped over and whacked his head on a gravestone(!) I could have called witnesses if necessary...) Some kids do fall over more than others. Try not to worry OP.

Hello. I had a phone call and subsequent visit from hv a couple of months after we moved house. She asked if there were any problems, I said no but mentioned DD1 (2 at the time) had been to A&E 3 times recently. She already knew! Obv that had prompted call and visit. No problem - lovely lady, and no further visits from hv. Altho' we have had lots of further visits to A&E and DD1 has made is to 14! Some kids are just clumsy - I was the same and so is DD2 (who has also had several visits to A&E). I wouldn't worry, they are just doing their job.