To be scared of SS come knocking on my door??

[scared321]

I have a DS who is 2 and am 26 weeks pregnant with no.2. My DS is a mischievious little monkey, loves climbing and jumping and running like any normal kid. Well yesterday, he was running and tripped, landing on the coffe table corner and it resulted in a cut in his head. It didnt look deep, didnt bleed much, swelled quite quickly and he cried for a few minutes and was fine. But I wasnt, so took him straight to the local emergency walk-in clinic place. Just to be safe.

The nurse who checked him made me feel really uncomfortable, she was unsmiling, stared at me when i walked in but I explained to her properly what happened and tried to not let he accusing stares bother me. She looked at her computer and raised her eyebrows and stated 'well he had a similar fall 6 months ago,didnt he?' errr yes, and believe it or not it was the same wretched coffee table, we moved it out of the way after the first occurrence but its rotten luck he landed on it again. The HV did a follow up visit and had no concerns. [Since yesterday we got rid of table completely and given it to a friend (who has NO children)].

Anyway the nurse glued DS's cut and he was totally fine and happy as if it had never happenend. I felt reassured. When we were about to leave, she said 'you do know if he hurts himself like this again, it'll get flagged up'. I am still mortified by her words, I was too upset to ask what she meant but know it sounds bloody serious. I was in tears all evening, didnt sleep last night though DS slept great (i checked on him almost hourly). Sorry about my rambling, i havent slept and been worryingmyself sick. Being pregnant and hormonal is definitly not helping. Maybe am over-reacting.

Should i be so worried? What if he falls again despite me watching him like a hawk? Anyone had any experience of a child falling 3 times and 'getting flagged'?
Please be nice, I feel a failure as it is.

DS1 fell down the stairs at 10 months (my fault, hadn't closed bathroom door properly and he escaped while my back was turned - opened onto the stairs.)

He had a fractured femur and cut lip. The A&E doc accused me of throwing him against a wall. While he was lying on the rescus table in shock, being worked on by at least 4 people.

I fainted!

It was in his notes that they suspected non-accidental injury, but we were observation, unbeknownst to me, for the next 4 weeks as an inpatient. The nurse told me this on the last day, and said she had called off any investigation as I had demonstrated good parenting.

I will never forget that bastard of a doctor. Yes, people hurt their kids, but it was an already horrific situation. He should not have said what he did.

Do people really believe that social sevices will come and take your children away because it bumped its head a few times on the coffee table?

Its so bloody hard to take children away from their parents now even when there is PROOF that they are being harmed.

I for one am relieved that social services are informed and things are flagged up quickly. I would much rather ME being on social services radar for innocent bruises than a child who was actually being abused to be ignored.

I think things must have changed. My son seemed to live in Casualty when he was little. If he wasn't tripping over or falling off walls or burning himself when he was 17, he was trying to cut his own toenails but cut into a toe. We can't have them in our view 24 hours a day.

I was acused of sexually abusing my daughter when she went to hospital a few years ago due to having pains in her hip and right side groin. I was not allowed to be on my own with her until I got to childrens ward.

needless to say she was diagnosed with fluid on her hip and it was 'not a sexual injury' thanks a and e for that phrase.

Social services were informed apparantly but I never heard a thing from them, my hv was lovely though. I was devastated.

Its made me very very wary of a and e.

It's actually harder to engage the interest of SS than most people think. If you have watched any of the current BBC series it's easy to see that most people are a long way off most authorities threshold of care. I used to work in CP (clerical not sw) and resources are only really avaliable for serious neglect/abuse.

My DS2 was always in A&E as a toddler (turned out to have adhd) and no one ever came knocking. DS1's school recently referred us to SS family support as we have been struggling with his behaviour (suspected asd). I had one phone call from a lovely sw who said sorry you don't meet the threshold for support but do phone back if things get worse. In an ideal world there would be support for families like us but in assessment terms we are financially stable, own a nice home, have good jobs etc... worlds apart from the likes of Marva and Shaun from POC.

If you have a good, stable home OP I wouldn't worry about SS.

I think that our local A & E has signs up informing parents that they will inform Health Visitor if 3 or more visits to the department (not sure over what time frame!).

we seem to go in spates (3 children) no visits for ages then seem to be there all the time. When my youngest was a baby she also "triggered" the HV phone call (both myself and husband worked in the hospital at time so , however HV was lovely and just checking if all ok.

Ironically the first injury DD was only @4 months old, lying on bed next to me - I was drying my hair, bent forward to plug hairdryer in and DD decided then would be great time to roll for first time - straight onto floor!.(and cut eyebrow). Cue me in A & E with wet hair and nurse giving me a right telling off for leaving DD unattended on bed (it was few seconds!)

Several months later, coming back from a Christmas party (for children) at local pub. Husband had had one drink. Buggy heavily laden - I nipped upstairs to go to loo. DD stood up in buggy (straps had been undone in readiness of getting her out, buggy flipped due to heavy bags on it and DD cut eyebrow on door frame.

I took her to hospital as paranoid what would be said if alcohol smelt on husbands breath.

Then on holiday in summer, DD refused to sleep in cot - so slept in my bed - fell out (clipped eye on bedside cabinet and reopened up cut) - didn't go to hospital that time as she was ok and it looked worse than it was - we then had to "pad " edge of beds with lilos etc to stop her falling out.

Can't remember what the third "trigger" incident was - strangely she has not been since (now 8) but does still have a scar over her eyebrow

Don't worry about it OP - if you ask most parents they have tales like this to tell (inc the nursing staff in A & E!)

crunchy and sheep - I worry that if someone blatently accused me of such a thing, while I'm worried about my DC, I would knock them out! (and that would go down well wouldnt it...) How awful for you both :(

well i've had a visit from ss (should really have my own parking space in a+e)

op it'll be fine

i do think a and e have knee jerk reactions and report left right and centre. I know they are only covering their backs but it only makes people too frightened to go to hospital.

I also don't think they should make it obvious that they have concerns either. If they were that worried about dd1 being abused why didn't they call the emergency out of hours ss?

I am fairly sensible about things and would never not go to hospital if urgent but its made me bloody wary and paranoid and feel i want to clammy.

The last time i went with dd was on her birthday last year. She broke her arm by she fell of a space hopper in a neighbours garden. There were witnesses but I still had the third degree, How, why when, where were you, why werent you with her (I was working, my ex was looking after them all so i could work, evening shift)

Childrens ward did say however that a and e overact quite often, I can see why but its gone about the wrong way imo

clammy = clam up

by the way dd1 is now 9, not a little one

I've had this happen to me. It was absolutely fine. I was honestly made to feel that I wasn't under any suspicion and that they simply had a job to do. It was a HV who came to see me - one who I'd previously thought looked a bit scary (big booming voice, too) - but she was absolutely lovely.

I've also had a visit from SS after I had my X arrested for trying to strangle me on the day I left him (no other physical abuse before then). Again, a lovely SW who was incredibly supportive and positive.

Try not to worry.

When ds was about 4 I took him to the local children's a+e because he had a high temp and ear ache. I couldn't get an appt at the doctors and he was in pain. Anyway he was given antibiotics for a severe ear infection and I got a call from the HV about 4 days later as she "had to follow up any child that had had treatment in a+e". A lot of the time it's just routine, don't worry.

I work in A&E - we have to report everything that meets certain criteria, no personal judgement allowed, as we only ever get a tiny snapshot of a family and some people are very, very good actors. We also have to tell the parent(s) that we are making the referral, unless we have reason to think doing so may cause them to attack us (which I've had happen more than once). There's nothing personal in it, the guidelines are rigid and are there to take the element of personal judgement out of the whole equation. 97% of SS referrals we make come back 'no further action', and that's fine by us, as long as the 3% are properly investigated.

Feather bag- I don't take my DCs to A&E unless it is an absolute emergency because of that. V scary the police state we live in now.

DS1 was in A&E twice in 2 weeks when he was about 5. First time he had cut his head open and needed it glued. Then 2 weeks later he sliced his areola open and needed stitches.
AFAIK SS were never informed.

I do agree with the earlier poster that people shouldn't be told about this three visits trigger thing and am that an a&e has it up on a poster! Of course that will deter loving parents seeking treatment for accident prone children, but it wouldn't deter abusers who don't generally take their kids to a&e. That just makes no sense to me.

I got a phone call from the hv when ds was taken to a & e the first time (aged 2). She didn't know why he had been there, just that he had. When I explained if was a febrile convulsion she quickly lost interest. He's been twice since for accidental injuries (one with cm and one at school) and I expected phone calls but didn't get them.

That's a real shame Charlotte, especially when the system isn't there to deter people from accessing services when they need them, but to pick up as many as possible of the cases that would fall through the net otherwise. TBF, A&E is for absolute emergencies, but if you're ever in any doubt whether your child's condition falls into that category please go to A&E, not seeking medical help when a child needs it would definitely get you a SS referral!

Wow this must be a recent thing, I was a very clumsy and active child, social work would never have been away from our house!

Ds1 fell down the stairs at about 18 months (dh was above him instead of below him on the stairs so couldn't catch him), he hit his head on the pram at the bottom of the stairs so we took him to hospital to be on the safe side. My hv contacted me a week or so later, this was in 2007 and was ds1's first visit to a annd e, actually it was a minor injuries unit rather than a and e. Ds2 had to go to the miu last summer due to a splinter under his nail, we had no follow up on that.

This is so scary and I don't even have children!

Crunchy I did that to DSis4 when she was about the same age - left the stair gate open after I'd been allowed to bathe her and she fell down the stairs.

DSis2 within two months cut her lip open on a coffee table and then actually knocked herself out running away from our mum into a concrete pillar in a shopping mall.

I dread to think what SS would've made of all that!

sheep your story is terrible, just terrible - they directly accused you of abuse, with basically no evidence whatsoever? I am already quite suspicious of the HV system but when I have DC will keep away from A&E as well as far as poss.

After my DS's FOURTH head wound was glued (there was also a trip to A&E for a bang to the head at 6 months no wound), I got a note through the door from a nurse on the HV team saying they called to see us but we were out and requesting me to call. I called, they said they were following up a trip to A&E was everything alright? Yes. I notice you haven't been in to clinic, could you bring your DS in to clinic and have him weighed? I refused the whole weighing thing as no concerns, he was almost 5 years old and I worked full time, offered to see HV there and then as had collected DS from school early that day due to him having a temperature. That didn't suit so that was that. Nothing else. Next head wound was mine!

On our 2nd head wound gluing trip I was actually told by a nurse that 'next time this happens' I should go to the walk in centre or wherever, some different part of the hospital. I did ask if I was to expect it to happen a lot.

We took my DD into A & E because my MIL had left a packet of paracetmol out and then couldn't account for how many she had taken, as it happened DD had not had any of them thank goodness but the HV followed up to make sure all was well.
What would worry me now though is that my DS has never seen the HV or my GP so a quick call to them would reveal absolutely nothing at all, maybe that's a good thing or maybe that would concern them too.

Revolting You cannot keep a child away from A&E, that would be failing in your duty of care as a parent what would you do let them suffer, have a go at stitching them up yourself ?