He's being a complete arse isn't he?

[Lexie1970]

DP currently in major huff at mo but from my point he is being totally unreasonable!

As we still have lots of snow, boots are being kicked off at door and left in porch. I have brain like a sieve and what I can't see I don't think about. Last night he went out to fill my car with diesel and came in about 20 minutes later. Now to get out of front door he has had to step over 2 pairs of his boots, 2 pairs of DS wellies and my boots. To get back in he has had to step over again. If this was me I would have put all boots in the hallway when I returned.

Both get up to go to bed about 10 and he asks if I am leaving the boots outside or do I plan to bring them in? I am flabberghasted as I can't understand why he didn't bring them in. follows a row with me saying that why didn't he bring them in as he had to walk over them and saw them and him saying i should have bought them in, I am lazy blah blah blah

Upshot is I bring mine and DS boots in and leave his outside. He comes down brings in his and chucks my boots on front lawn and also chucks remainder of glass of lemonade at me!! Tosser!!

Thoughts?

lexi
I am not actually referring to either of you specifically. It was a really bizarre and petty argument that escalated to ridiculous levels. It's not a normal to fight like this- pretty much everyone is in agreement on this. In 10 years I have never had a drink thrown at me in anger by my husband. It's what you both argued about and how you both argued is what is of concern.

He could have said 'here's the money for the deisel' and you could have got it.
Then you would have been the ones to bring the boots in and brought them all in, presumably?

I cannot imagine being in a relationship with someone who would throw a drink over me- that's just bizarre.

Yes, but having called him an arse, you are now defending him and saying chucking lemonade and bickering like this is just part of a normal relationship, so why post ?

Actually, I don't care...your DH, your boots, your lemonade...

I get snippy, sure. I certainly don't throw drinks at anyone though.
Snippy - normal.
Chucking drinks - nope.

If my DH was kind enough to go and fill my car up with diesel not only would I move the boots, I'd give him a blow job too.

YABU.

I think you might want to change your name to tooeasilypleased!

TBH, DH and I have silly spats like this occasionally. The point at which the lemonade remnants and boots started to get chucked in and out would usually be the point at which we both start giggling helplessly and making up. I'm more disturbed by the fact that the pair of you are still in a huff with each other - shouldn't you have forgotten about it by now?

Most of it is just petty and silly, but there's no valid reason for throwing a drink at your spouse. For that he is surely a nobber.

Thoughts? OP you are pathetic, so is your husband,both acting like 3-year-olds. Grow up and do something useful with your time.

Oh damn yes I get snippy in fact when im tired im worse than a bear with a sore head- I really do object to chucking stuff and getting physical in anyway though

It sounds like you have a habit of leaving things undone. If I had gone out in the cold to fill up DP's car, came home to find yet another example of DP leaving things where they dropped I would be peeved enough to be petty about tthe boots. Having said that, that does in no way excuse the drink throwing.

I can see what you're annoyed about. He manoeuvred past the boots twice and then asked you when you were bringing them in. He was making a point - refusing to clear up your mess when he could have done so in a second and made his life easier. It was a bit passive aggressive. This implied criticism got your back up and you did something petty in return to spite him. He retaliated.

It IS petty and ridiculous but it happens. The drink throwing is the part where it goes beyond the realms of normal.

squeaktoy - your boot suppository gives new meaning to the phrase
"putting the boot in"

and btw OP, who cleaned up the thrown Lemonade?

matches twas me that cleaned up this morning but as a SAHM I do all the cleaning anyway and he earns the pennies :)

We have just spoken on phone - trying to call each other almost simultaneously and he was peeved that I had not remembered to bring the boots in as I am very scatty, can understand why I was cross as he stepped over said boots so there you have it - petty argument resolved. Not making any excuses about thrown drink but he does have a tendancy to throw things when riled - had to replace several remote controls over the years. Not excusing him, not saying it is acceptable and not condoning it.

Thanks for all your comments although Delhi could have done without yours - neither constructive or witty!!

but surely being a SAHM doesn't mean you should clean up a mess HE made in anger?

Agree you were both being petty in the argument but him throwing and not cleaning after himself is not on.

probably not but as he left home before 7 this morning and will not be back until late tonight is it worth another row / disagreement for the sake of wiping it up?

When he is in office it is 2+ hours commute each way which makes for a very long day....

Glad you resolved the issue OP, sounds like the kind me and DH would have. I chucked a full mug of tea 'at' (slightly to the right of) him once. Spent the next hour regretting it as it took that long to clean up the mess!

Good job you didn't post in relationships!

but why didn't he clean up straight away rather than leave a sticky mess?

Well...he earns the pennies, so why would he clean up after throwing a drink himself?
Apparently.

By the same logic, it wouldn't be his job to tidy away the boots that caused all this consternation in the first place, either....would it?

Who the fuck knows.

Good job you didn't post in relationships!

Yes, at least the people in AIBU are reasonable :O

Oh you know what I mean!