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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He's being a complete arse isn't he?

84 replies

Lexie1970 · 08/02/2012 12:45

DP currently in major huff at mo but from my point he is being totally unreasonable!

As we still have lots of snow, boots are being kicked off at door and left in porch. I have brain like a sieve and what I can't see I don't think about. Last night he went out to fill my car with diesel and came in about 20 minutes later. Now to get out of front door he has had to step over 2 pairs of his boots, 2 pairs of DS wellies and my boots. To get back in he has had to step over again. If this was me I would have put all boots in the hallway when I returned.

Both get up to go to bed about 10 and he asks if I am leaving the boots outside or do I plan to bring them in? I am flabberghasted as I can't understand why he didn't bring them in. follows a row with me saying that why didn't he bring them in as he had to walk over them and saw them and him saying i should have bought them in, I am lazy blah blah blah

Upshot is I bring mine and DS boots in and leave his outside. He comes down brings in his and chucks my boots on front lawn and also chucks remainder of glass of lemonade at me!! Tosser!!

Thoughts?

OP posts:
MomoandTeddington · 08/02/2012 13:00

Is everyone else reading a different thread to me? I took it as: Boots were left in the porch by OP, her DH and her DS.

DH goes out, gets in a strop and has a go at OP as ALL boots including HIS boots still in the porch. OP has a go back at him and brings in hers and her DS's boots as hes spoken to her like shit. He then loses it and chucks her boots outside and throws lemonade at her.

He sounds like a total arse, and in line with mumsnet tradition I WOULD leave him!

sunshineandbooks · 08/02/2012 13:01

Chucking the drink in your face is completely unacceptable. That needs dealing with.

The argument over the boots sounds a bit mad to me TBH. I can't quite get my head around it. It's just not a normal interaction between a couple. Is there other stuff going on as well? It sounds more like a tipping point in a row that's been brewing for some time.

pictish · 08/02/2012 13:02

Hmmm - I think we're getting mixed up here. I thought the OP had left boots first. Is that wrong?

banana87 · 08/02/2012 13:03

You're both as bad as each other WRT the boots. The drink throwing was really uncalled for and immature. Does he normally do those things?

Amateurish · 08/02/2012 13:04

Talk about gratitude OP! He goes out to do you a favour and because he has to step over your mess on the way, he should tidy it up?

PS tidying up some boots takes 10 seconds. Filling a car with diesel takes 20 min. Being nice to someone who has gone out of their way to be helpful to you takes no time at all.

Original poster
Lexie1970 · 08/02/2012 13:04

This is what niggles me - I didn't expect him to bring the boots in but having had to step over them twice it strikes me as strange to not bring them in and then ask / expect me to do it nearly 3 hours later Hmm

We do bicker like 5 year olds on occasion and should grow up, but hey ho if you can't be childish with your partner of nearly 13 years then there probably isn't anybody you can be childish with Wink

Still narked though.........

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 08/02/2012 13:05

It wasn't her mess though, was it?

squeakytoy · 08/02/2012 13:06

But WHY can the boots not just stay in the porch???

Amateurish · 08/02/2012 13:06

Regarding the lemonade. Was it half a glass, in the face, drenched in sticky liquid stylee? Or was it splash of remnants, directed in your general direction, fell harmlessly on the ground?

MomoandTeddington · 08/02/2012 13:08

Why didn't you expect him to bring his own boots in OP?

And like squeaky says I don't get why the boots can't stay in the porch? Isn't that the kind of things porches are designed for, so you don't have to take dirty shoes into the house?

chunkythighs · 08/02/2012 13:08

I'm of the opinion that the health of a relationship can be seen in how a couple argue---IMO you have a serious issue in your relationship. The boots and the diesel are red herrings.

Original poster
Lexie1970 · 08/02/2012 13:08

remnants thrown in general direction that got me. radiator and wall........

OP posts:
MomoandTeddington · 08/02/2012 13:09

I couldn't be with someone who thought it acceptable to tip drink over me

Original poster
Lexie1970 · 08/02/2012 13:13

re boots in porch - it is not enclosed so protected to a degree by elements but wouldn't intentionally put DS feet in freezing wellies!!

chunky please don't read into relationship issues that don't exist - it was a petty argument which most are, and probably like most long term couples we snipe at each other - he is not a wife beater etc etc and please, honestly, honestly we wouldn't leave each other because we are SO OVER, NOT!!

OP posts:
EauDeLaPoisson · 08/02/2012 13:14

We do bicker like 5 year olds on occasion and should grow up, but hey ho if you can't be childish with your partner of nearly 13 years then there probably isn't anybody you can be childish with

But you have kids- if anyone should be indulging in this sort of pathetic behaviour its them not the very people who should be setting them a good example

SnapesMistress · 08/02/2012 13:14

I would be very upset if someone threw a drink at me and this would trump any argument we had had before.

EauDeLaPoisson · 08/02/2012 13:15

I cant believe how determined you are that this is normal behaviour- newsflash- it isn't.

WorraLiberty · 08/02/2012 13:16

Why didn't you put your diesel in your car?

He was out of order chucking the lemonade, but the rest just sounds petty.

BluriahHeep · 08/02/2012 13:18

Oh, right, this is AIBU, not Relationhips.

yes, he's a complete arse, and unreasonable but it's FINE for you to bicker and for you to have lemonade thrown at you and your boots chucked on the lawn and for both of you to be the snipey bickering long term in love partners you are.

That better?

It kind of makes the whole thread pointless, though Confused

squeakytoy · 08/02/2012 13:21

Bickering and arguing like kids is fine... throwing drink over someone is not fine. I would see that as almost on a par to spitting actually... it really is not at all normal, and is an act of trying to humiliate someone.

If my husband threw a drink at me, he would be wearing one of the boots as a suppository.

blackteaplease · 08/02/2012 13:21

How old are you? Yes he could have brought them in and equally you could have said "oh I forgot about those" and done it yourself. Putting boots outside and throwing drinks is so juvenile.

Original poster
Lexie1970 · 08/02/2012 13:22

He kindly put diesel in my car car because he pays for it - he had been saying since weekend he would fill it up and as he was in office today, he did it last night so I could get out and about.

No doubt be further flamed but I am a SAHM so £60 in diesel comes direct out of his pocket rather than joint account...

Eau not saying it is normal behaviour, but pretty sure that silly petty rows are probably quite common in long term relationships - don't you get snippy?

OP posts:
Anonymumous · 08/02/2012 13:22

Our porch isn't enclosed either, but we still leave the boots out there all night and our sons haven't complained about it yet!

Agincourt · 08/02/2012 13:24

I think you are both being a bit silly

Original poster
Lexie1970 · 08/02/2012 13:26

Jeez blur if this was on relationships I am sure that certain posters would say that I am being violated, how can I put up with this abuse, I should leave him and then some.

AIBU 'cos I cannot understand how you can step over something twice and then ask me 3 hours later to bring them in

OP posts:
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