How Important are Manners?

[bejeezus]

I always instil in my DCs how important good manners are; always say please and thankyou; pardon not 'eh?'; wait your turn blah blah....alot of it involves, 'when you are at other peoples houses' rules i.e. dont ask for food (you can ask for a drink of water) eat what you are given/dont say 'yeuck, this is disgusting'...etc want to feel that my kids would be a pleasure to have as guests...

But it occured to me today that if a child is visiting our house, I dont care if they say please and thankyou as long as the tone and the intention is there ('please' and 'thankyou's can easily be delivered in a way which clearly shows the sentiment is false) and I would hate to think they would not ask me for food if they were hungry. I dont mind if they express what they think of my cooking...I quite enjoy their honesty and innocence in this way.

It also occured to me that 'manners' is not an attribute I look for as an adult in adult friends. In fact some of my friends are downright rude and I love 'em!

How important are manners?

Good manners are just common courtesy aren't they?

I can't stand it when children come round to play and can't manage please or thank you during the whole play date. Especially those who keep asking me to do something or ordering me around. My usual tactic is to ask if they've forgotten something and they usually then say please etc. I am also quite shocked at the amount of kids without basic table manners. My DC are 11 and 8 and i am regularly complemented on their manners particularly the 11 yo.

Manners are important and do effect what people think of you and how you will get on in life whether you like it or not.

Also, I agree it is the height of bad manners to point out somebody else's lack of manners.

I was thinking about this thread, and the adage that you can tell what a person's like by how they treat a waiter or waitress. In every case where I massively dislike someone, I could remember being in a restaurant or cafe with them and they'd acted like an embarrassing twat...
Another variation on the 'good manners mean basic niceness' theme.

Noting to add on the manners front but this thread has made me realise how MN is taking over m life....

I read the title as How important are MNers