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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to sit my neighbour down and ask him why he believes in God?

101 replies

ElaineBenes · 05/02/2012 23:21

I'm a reluctant atheist. I really want to believe in God and I've thought about it a lot but it just doesn't make any sense to me. I'm a pretty logical person and the logic doesn't add up.

So my neighbour is a doctor, must be quite scientific, right? And he's super-religious. We've never discussed it but I want to ask him over and ask him to explain to me why, but it's a quite a jump from chit chat about the weather and kids to the meaning of life!

OP posts:
IneedAbetterNicknameIn2012 · 05/02/2012 23:27

He moght not be able to tell you. I believe in God, but I couldn't tell you why, I just do iyswim.
We have alot of drs at our church, including one of the vicars.

As regards to your op, if you have nothing to lose (ie he won't think you are nutty) then ask him. I have no suggestions as to how you start that conversation though :)

PinkPeanuts · 05/02/2012 23:29

Give the Alpa course a try. It bought a lot into perspective for me :)

PinkPeanuts · 05/02/2012 23:29

Alpha*

ChasTittyBeltUp · 05/02/2012 23:30

YABU, his eligion may be a very private matter. You would do better with someone you know well...or a Nun. Or priest. Or vicar.

I can't explain why I do other than I have felt him. I have felt Him right by me when I was having an awful time. Not physically you understand but almost. Prior to that I just believed and thought that was that...then I had that thing happen.

What they call an Epiphany? Not sure.

Original poster
ElaineBenes · 05/02/2012 23:30

Alpha course?

OP posts:
nailak · 05/02/2012 23:34

I would say ask him. I would be happy for someone to ask me.

PrimaBallerina · 05/02/2012 23:35

YADNBU. Definitely ask him.

serin · 05/02/2012 23:36

I would ask him. You know he is "super religious" so he must have made you aware of this fact somehow!

IneedAbetterNicknameIn2012 · 05/02/2012 23:39

Alpha I haven't done it personally, but I have done similar courses :)

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/02/2012 23:39

I really think that people either believe or don't believe and it takes an immense event to shift either way. Why do you want to believe? It seems odd to me (lifelong religion-dodger). Do you need meaning? Volunteer at a community project or do prison visiting. I have not spent any time worrying about my lack of religion but I have spent my life trying to help people and make the world better (vom).

EchoBitch · 05/02/2012 23:40

Why don't you start off by going to church and talking to the Vicar about this stuff.

It does seem a bit odd to just ask someone about their beliefs.

But then again why not?

Original poster
ElaineBenes · 05/02/2012 23:41

He's not christian and his lifestyle outwardly indicates how religious he is so we've never needed to discuss for me to know.

I think IABU, I've got no idea how I'd bring this up. Guess I'll have to figure this out for myself. Although may try to gently steer conversations in the right direction :)

OP posts:
GrimmaTheNome · 05/02/2012 23:42

So my neighbour is a doctor, must be quite scientific, right?

No, not really, TBH. Doctors have to know some sciency stuff but they don't necessarily think scientifically.

MamaMaiasaura · 05/02/2012 23:42

YaNbu - I could have written op. (wonders if you are a neighbour... He isn't south African is he?)

EchoBitch · 05/02/2012 23:43

Sorry,i assumed CofE.

Firawla · 05/02/2012 23:45

i think its fine if you say to him what you've said here, and ask. if you come across in a 'challenging' way it may be a bit rude but your attitude here seems fine. i wouldnt mind if i was him

Tiredmumno1 · 05/02/2012 23:49

I am not so sure, considering you have already said you don't see the logic, that statement to me says you don't believe, you can't make yourself believe.

Everybody who believes usually have their own perception of god and particular reasons as to why they believe, so his perception may not be the same as everyone else's iyswim

McHappyPants2012 · 05/02/2012 23:51

So my neighbour is a doctor, must be quite scientific, right?

he may think gods plan was him to help the sick < not religious>

Original poster
ElaineBenes · 05/02/2012 23:51

No, I don't believe but I want to! I really really do, I love the idea of there being a God (a good one I hope).

And it really annoys me when religions make belief into a virtue. I can't help not believing, I'm not doing it to be evil or perverse. I just need more evidence...I'd love to have an epiphany.

OP posts:
Tiredmumno1 · 05/02/2012 23:57

Then ask yourself if you really want to be swayed by someone else's thoughts and religion.

It doesn't make you a bad person Smile

I believe for my my own reasons, and to be honest that's good enough for me, I respect that others have different thoughts on it, except those who try to push their religion on others that makes me Angry

Original poster
ElaineBenes · 06/02/2012 00:01

I think we're all swayed by other people's thoughts and religion. I know I was greatly swayed in my thoughts about religion by reading Karen Armstrong and Richard Dawkins, with Dawkins especially making sense and resonating with me and articulating a lot of what I'd been thinking (having gone to religious schools myself and tried being religious at various points in time). I guess I'm looking for a counter-balance to Dawkins and was hoping my neighbour might provide it! Poor guy, no pressure Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
ElaineBenes · 06/02/2012 00:04

I should add that part of it is also that the family next door are absolutely lovely and totally live as I'd imagine genuinely religious people to live IFYSWIM. They're generous, friendly, sweet, non-judgmental. I sometime hear them singing together and I think it just seems such a nice lifestyle with a very strong community around them as well - but I'd be a total hypocrite to just go do it for the lifestyle!

OP posts:
McHappyPants2012 · 06/02/2012 00:08

i don't belive in god.

for example why do babies die, why is there people starving and homeless ect. If there was a god then bad things would not happen.

Original poster
ElaineBenes · 06/02/2012 00:17

Yes, exactly McHappyPants.

If there is a god, how do we know it's a good one??? That thought is even more terrifying than there not being one at all!

OP posts:
solidgoldbrass · 06/02/2012 01:05

Well there aren't any gods, so it's kind of unlikely that anyone will be able to convince you of the existence of any. However, if your neighbour has never actually spoken to you about his worldview and he is of a different background to you, are you sure he is religious and not just going along with the customs of his culture?