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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I probably am BU...but want to know for sure.

76 replies

ChasTittyBeltUp · 04/02/2012 14:10

I am at home trying to work with 2 DDs who are bored. Because I work from home and am the main breadwinnner, it is vital that I finish my work today.

DH is also working but in a town 100 miles away and will be back at around 7.30pm.

I have no shopping in the house....running out of milk which DD2 drinks a lot...we have nothing in for dinner later.

I can't drive due to health reasons and the nearest shop is a miles walk down a long and windswept lane.

I asked my Mum if she could pop by (she lives 5 miles away) and bring some milk...she drives.

She said no.

DH was meant to get the shopping yesterday but broke his hip just before christmas and had a bad day yesterday....I had been told by my Mum that she would be visiting today...then this morning she said "Oh no...I just want to stay at home."

Fair enough but she KNOWS I am stuck here, trying to work with no shopping in the house and I am now going to have to take two kids into the heavy sleet to get something for tea.

I feel totally pissed off and alone. The walk is not bothering me so much as the DDs getting soaked and the fact that I will lose so much working time. AIBU to be pssed off with my Mum who is fit with a car and eff all to do all day??

OP posts:
Original poster
ChasTittyBeltUp · 04/02/2012 14:11

PLEASE don't say "Why have you not got childcare?" We do...during the week...this is a one off project which came about recently and which is paying well so I could not afford to leave it. I have not been paid yet and we do not have the cash for more cildcare.

OP posts:
south345 · 04/02/2012 14:13

Online shop?!

She doesn't have to help but at least if you online shop you aren't relying on people.

SquishyCinnamonSwirls · 04/02/2012 14:13

No YANBU at all.
Unless your Mum has health issues, or it's incredibly dangerous on the road then she should be offering help.
Have you got a friend you could call who could maybe take the girls for a bit and bring you a few essentials?

BillyBollyBandy · 04/02/2012 14:13

YANBU I would tell dd she had to drink something else, order a pizza for delivery, stick a film on and leave them to it.

WorraLiberty · 04/02/2012 14:14

Well it is a bit mean of your Mum but perhaps she's wondering how you can let supplies get so low?

If it's as one off then I'd say your Mum is being unreasonable...but if running out of basic food and milk is something you do a lot and then expect her to sort it out, then I'd say YABU.

What about internet shopping?

Feminine · 04/02/2012 14:14

no, YANBU.

I feel sorry for you.

But Grin put on your big girl panties and go for it, you might feel better after some fresh air.

I totally sympathize :)

LittlePandaBear · 04/02/2012 14:14

Sorry YABU - you're an adult and shouldn't have to rely on your mum to bring you some milk! 5 miles away isn't round the corner!

If your DH is well enough to work then surely he can pick something up on his way home? Otherwise order a takeaway for tonight and order a grocery shop to arrive tomorrow. Sorted!

Newmummytobe79 · 04/02/2012 14:14

I understand how pissed off you are but I think your only options now are to go to the shop by taxi for milk and make DH pay for a takeaway tonight!

Catsdontcare · 04/02/2012 14:15

Hmm not sure i could ask someone to do a 5 mile trip just to get you milk. I can see why you are pissed off though.

Original poster
ChasTittyBeltUp · 04/02/2012 14:16

He can pick up something but they are usually fed well before 7.30. We normally do a big shop n Fridays but DH was bad and I have had nothing but work to do....

WOuld it be weird to book a cab to take us only one mile?

OP posts:
vegetariandumpling · 04/02/2012 14:16

weeeeelll...YABa little bit U, but it's understandable. I don't think your Mum is unreasonable for not wanting to go out.

Will Tesco not deliver to where you are? Do you not have even enough food for just a simple meal tonight so you dont' have to go out (omlettes or toast or anything?)

Original poster
ChasTittyBeltUp · 04/02/2012 14:16

Cats she ccomes this way regularly usually...

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 04/02/2012 14:17

can your husband not pick up shopping on his way home?

in the meantime... nobody will starve of malnutrition or dehydration..

Gumby · 04/02/2012 14:17

put on your big girl panties

Shock

What a crap thing to say! Are you a patronising bloke?!?

Original poster
ChasTittyBeltUp · 04/02/2012 14:19

Squeaky....they can't wait that long for a proper meal. Ok...I COULD make them plain pasta with cheese...I just thought Mum wouldn't mind. Obvously I am wrong!

OP posts:
Newmummytobe79 · 04/02/2012 14:20

I used to get a taxi to the pub less than a mile away when it was raining and I had stupidly high heels on oh how I miss those days!

Sure the driver won't mind the fare either!

whackamole · 04/02/2012 14:20

YANBU - order a pizza from HungryHouse or JustEat for tea and soldier on without milk until tomorrow.

WorraLiberty · 04/02/2012 14:20

Gumby why would you assume that perfectly normal expression came from a bloke?

OP, if you're had too much work to do and have not been able to buy your children basic groceries, perhaps your Mum thinks you need to re-order your priorities?

bigeyes · 04/02/2012 14:21

Tabby, get the cab.

Sort online shop for next week.

We've all been caught out for essentials at some point.

Understandably peeved at your mum if she was going to be visiting then did upturn.

whackamole · 04/02/2012 14:21

Newmummytobe79 I remember those days! Me and my friend would get a taxi about a mile from her flat into town. After doing it for well over 2 years we realised we could walk it in flipflops and save the fare for fags instead!

Honestly we're not normally that thick!

squeakytoy · 04/02/2012 14:22

Of course they can wait that long!!

But really, why is there so little food in the place that you cant make up an emergency meal. If you live so far from a shop then it makes sense to have basics in.

bigeyes · 04/02/2012 14:22

Yanbu

Yama · 04/02/2012 14:24

YANBU at all to expect your Mum to want to help. And to see her grandchildren for that matter. My Mum and MIL happily help when asked.

Taxi fine in this weather by the way.

Kayano · 04/02/2012 14:25

Sorry but I think YABU

Its a mile.

You expect your mum to go five miles? Sorry but you need to tell one child to drink something else and get a takeaway or suck it up and go to the shop.

It's nothing to do with your mum, she might not be feeling great, might not want to drive in these conditions and you are a fully grown woman!Hmm

TheScarlettPimpernel · 04/02/2012 14:27

I sympathise, but honestly - it's only a mile. That's a 15-20 minute walk....