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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I probably am BU...but want to know for sure.

76 replies

ChasTittyBeltUp · 04/02/2012 14:10

I am at home trying to work with 2 DDs who are bored. Because I work from home and am the main breadwinnner, it is vital that I finish my work today.

DH is also working but in a town 100 miles away and will be back at around 7.30pm.

I have no shopping in the house....running out of milk which DD2 drinks a lot...we have nothing in for dinner later.

I can't drive due to health reasons and the nearest shop is a miles walk down a long and windswept lane.

I asked my Mum if she could pop by (she lives 5 miles away) and bring some milk...she drives.

She said no.

DH was meant to get the shopping yesterday but broke his hip just before christmas and had a bad day yesterday....I had been told by my Mum that she would be visiting today...then this morning she said "Oh no...I just want to stay at home."

Fair enough but she KNOWS I am stuck here, trying to work with no shopping in the house and I am now going to have to take two kids into the heavy sleet to get something for tea.

I feel totally pissed off and alone. The walk is not bothering me so much as the DDs getting soaked and the fact that I will lose so much working time. AIBU to be pssed off with my Mum who is fit with a car and eff all to do all day??

OP posts:
IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 04/02/2012 15:45

Phone a pizza and give your child water. Text dh and tell him to bring in some milk. Problem solved.

Your mum is not being unreasonable.

Original poster
ChasTittyBeltUp · 04/02/2012 15:49

Jeez. I SAID I have pasta and cheese etc in. People are very pushy here aren't they?

I WOULD have gone last night only I have been breaking my back with work. A friend did the school runs kindly....as I couldn't take a break if I want to make deadline.

DH could not have managed the shop. He has gone to work dosed up on painkillers as he is afraid of losing his job. He already went back too soon imo.

I don't have a lot of income so to those people who are saying "I can't believe you don't ALWAYS have SOME food in"

Well bully for you that your bank account is always full. I live week to week. Some weeks the shopping is VERY basic and we make meals froms cratch...a lot of fresh veg and fruit and nothing processed. We don't buy many tins at all...only things like kidney beans.

I have been and come back and am now going to work. So clip clop on your high horses!

Thanks to those who are human a bit more understanding.

OP posts:
Original poster
ChasTittyBeltUp · 04/02/2012 15:50

I am on a tight budget...I can't justify ordering pizzas.

OP posts:
nickelhasababy · 04/02/2012 15:50

ooh, what did you get?
was the walk good?
is it snowing round your way? It snowed overnight here, and I wouldn't have wanted to walk a mile for food this afternoon.

SydSaid · 04/02/2012 15:54

If Chas was a friend of mine living 5 miles away I would have gone to the shop for her, and got a weeks worth of groceries and dropped them by, no problem.

If Chas was my daughter I would have done the same and then refused to take the money for the food.

It's five miles with a car peeps - thats what, 10 minutes away? It's nothing.

I can't help but thinking there are a huge number of intolerant people out there!

Chas, YANBU.

Original poster
ChasTittyBeltUp · 04/02/2012 15:55

The walk was good in a way nickel we got milk, apples, bananas, butter, salad and more eggs and some flour so I can make pancakes later.

The sleet was NOT nice but we did not melt.

I am obviouslt a candidate for SS for only having a half pint of milk, som pasta and cheese in the house.

Oh yes...I do have a cupboard full of herbs and spices, some potatoes and sugar and coffee and some broccoli.

But really people that's it! Apart from porridge. We just don't really do tins and instant stuff...the only things in the freezer I should have mentioned...we can't cook because the oven broke last week. We are awaiting a call back from our landlord.

OP posts:
sharenicely · 04/02/2012 15:56

Please don't come on aibu and ask if yabu and then get annoyed when you are told yabu - simple.

Original poster
ChasTittyBeltUp · 04/02/2012 15:57

The DC and I ate the bacon I had in for breakfast...plus porrige. We eat very well....cakes and things are always homecooked.
I just feel a bit crappy. Had a DH in a bad way for some time...and my own health issues...plus a tonne of work. Makes you feel a bit needy sometimes.

OP posts:
Original poster
ChasTittyBeltUp · 04/02/2012 15:58

Share.....I never got annoyed.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 04/02/2012 15:58

Aw come on OP.. you have spent a considerable amount of time posting on here over the last few days... and I know.. lots of us do it!.. but if you have deadlines to meet, AND children to feed, then you have to prioritise.

ragged · 04/02/2012 15:58

Sign off Chas, hide this thread & forget about it.
Glad you got some fresh air. :)

squeakytoy · 04/02/2012 15:59

And I am not having a dig there, it is my downfall too, as I work from home, and should have spent most of this week doing analytical figures and creating a database.. but it is very easy to get sidetracked.

nickelhasababy · 04/02/2012 16:00

you can make pizza now, you know!
All you need is the flour...
(normally you use yeast, but if you haven't got any of that, you can just make flour/egg and water dough (like for pasta) and roll it out thickly, and bake it.)
ah, but you don't have the oven. :(
no pizza then.

At least you can have pancakes (we might have to have pancakes for tea now.)
:)

Original poster
ChasTittyBeltUp · 04/02/2012 16:02

Squeaky...I know...it's my way of avoiding the work! Blush

I'm going I'm going!

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 04/02/2012 16:02

And lastly. you say you dont do tins.. but beans, pulses, tomatoes, tuna.. they are all things that you can buy cheaply, that can be used to make a decent evening meal, if you get caught short.

Get a slow cooker too.. you can get one for a tenner, and make fab stews and the like, with the cheapest cuts of meat and veg.. no need for an oven then either.

WorraLiberty · 04/02/2012 16:06

OP we all run out of things sometimes and we're all too busy to go shopping sometimes.

But YABU to be angry at your Mum because firstly, this is not an emergency and secondly you do need to prioritise a little better.

Samiantha · 04/02/2012 16:11

'What a crap thing to say! Are you a patronising bloke?!?' Hmm..why do you think a bloke said that?

OP, YANBU at all. If you ask her regularly then you might be, but if you don't then it not too much to ask for a favour. I would be annoyed if it were me.

SydSaid · 04/02/2012 16:15

squeakytoy - Op did say she just buys 'things like kidney beans' in tins.

Shriekable · 04/02/2012 16:15

I don't think YABU, you're stressed because of work, you're on your own, DH isn't around, and your mum, with time on her hands and the means to help, seemingly can't be bothered to. Going through something similar myself right now - night out tonight booked for weeks, my parents due to babysit, and now they're backing out due to the weather. They live 10 miles away and were going to stay over, but don't want to drive. It's not actually snowing where we are, but they've heard 'it might' !! Offered to pick them up & drop them off tomorrow, but they'd rather 'have a night at home' (like they do EVERY night)

TooImmatureTurtleDoves · 04/02/2012 16:26

Not to sound too spoilt, but if I phoned my mum and asked her to bring some milk and other supplies round, she would, even though she lives an hour and a half's drive away. She would also pay for it herself. I have to try not to ask her to do things.

I am spoilt. I know it.

OP, hope your DH is feeling better soon.

Feminine · 04/02/2012 16:26

Gumby have you never heard that expression?

Its hardly new Confused

and actually its quite a helpful motivator.

oh, and I am 100% female!

Feminine · 04/02/2012 16:29

I would also suggest getting a slow cooker- FANTASTIC help.

And as squeaky said, you can really economize with cheaper cuts of meat/chicken.
porridge with apple is nice to wake up to also :)

FabbyChic · 04/02/2012 16:32

Sorry but have you not heard of forward planning? shopping online and getting it delivered? you are supposed to be a responsible parent and should really have ensured there was sufficient in the house before you tried to knuckle down to work rather than relying on others

SydSaid · 04/02/2012 16:35

fabby - she DID plan in advance.

Her OH was supposed to shop, yesterday but couldn't.

So her mum said she would come over - but didn't.

And she DIDN'T rely on others - she went to the shop herself.

Samiantha · 04/02/2012 16:39

Fabby - I think it's a bit unfair to suggest she's an irresponsible parent. I would consider myself a responsible parent and I run out of stuff, occasionally make mistakes and ask other people for help.