Are there any single Dads

[JugsyMalone]

Not being rude - I genuinely have never met one.

I would have no problem with a non-resident dad describing himself as a single father even if the DC didn't reside with him primarily. For a start, the fact that he considers having to identify himself as a father says he considers that role important, which is wonderful. I always introduce myself as a single mother - not because I consider being a mother the sole point of my existence but because anyone who becomes a part of my life has to accept that as a single mother my life is not entirely my own and my choices and behaviour will always be influenced by having responsibility for my DC.

I've also seen first-hand how some NRPs can be better, more-involved parents than many resident fathers. Sometimes they may even be the same person and not realised how much being a father meant to them until they lost the privilege of living with their child.

I say this as a poster who frequently gets annoyed by the stereotyping of single mothers as 'evil bitches barring contact' without a similar coverage of the majority of NRPs not paying maintenance or failing to turn up for the contact, which is actually more commonplace.

I think the main problem is that we have such an adversarial set up that discourages co-operation. I'm not sure that 50/50 works apart from in exceptional circumstances, but even with other splits, there's a lot more we could do with court and residency arrangements to encourage co-operation, although I'd also like to see contact restricted for abusive partners and those who mess about with contact, constantly letting down the child since this is as damaging as no contact.

I know loads of single dads from going on SingleWithKids holidays. A couple of them lost their wives to cancer, a couple of them do 50/50, but most of them have the children 100% (or very close to 100%) of the time. They are all fab parents and they have the same sorts of problems with their exs that we single mums have.

I had no idea that there were so many single dads around until I started going on these holidays.

DD3 started school last September and she's in a class of 28 children. Two of them live only with their dads, one definitely doesn't see her mum, not sure about the other one.

Labels such as 'single parent' and nrp can be tricky as there is such a spectrum involved. I have never self-identified as a 'single father' though as sunshine indicates as a 'single mother' all of the important decisons I make are with dd in mind. ( more frivolous example I bought a car last week, after having an understanding from dd what she wanted from a car - wasn't my choice)
OTOH, her mum makes quite a splash about "being a single mum", which I found slightly risible, and quite annoying when she showed me her new book "Sole Provider"...as if I have/had no role....being an nrp involves a lot of lip-biting til they bleed at times. Couples who live together have a greater freedom to argue and make up afterwards.

I'm a single dad with three kids. Do i count, and if so as what? At school stuff I am frozen out of all female discussions about kids because I am a bloke and at social stuff I am lumped with dads about sport (which I hate). What do I do? Hang myself?