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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to react like this when my son said....

81 replies

betterwhenthesunshines · 03/02/2012 10:41

..."but you don't work for anything, you just use Daddy's money" over breakfast this morning (in a very condescending way)

I explained that we were a partnership and we both thought it was good to have one parent at home if we could afford that. I also said that if I had continued my career I would be a creative director of a design company by now. To which he replied "well that's not a proper job anyway". He's 10.

I went calmly upstairs and told him to come and talk to me. When he did I explained that for the next week he would be doing the things I did and that he could start by sorting the laundry basket... and while he was doing he could think about how much he was enjoying sorting everyone's dirty pants. :O

But I don't want to give him the idea that it's all drudgery, and that I'm a miserable martyr who is stuck at home, just to have a little more appreciation of the effort that goes into a home. Particularly this week as he knows I have been planning and making props for his school play, co-ordinating costumes, doing make-up team yesterday for 40+ children, also planning house renovation work alongside supporting his sister who has eye problems, homework, dog, cooking, ie usual stuff.

Makes my blood boil! What are you're experiences please?

OP posts:
NorthernWreck · 03/02/2012 22:53

Yeah thats the spirit BastardDog.
Freeze him into submission. Controlling much?
My ds doesn't want to do anything but play Disney Cars. While I find that boring, I wouldn't lock him out of the house because of it.
But, sure, chess club is worth it, right? Because it's..what? Improving to the mind? Unlike hypothermia.

ClothesOfSand · 03/02/2012 22:56

Locking a child out of their own home is just bizarre.

OrmIrian · 03/02/2012 23:45

That is just weird. Sorry but it is. Really weird. Freezing a child into playing chess.... Confused

WMDinthekitchen · 04/02/2012 00:03

Betterwhen I would be disappointed by such remarks. I know your DS is young but his words are indicative of how a SAH role is not valued at all. I am assuming that it is not his father who has given him this idea... (If it is, I would be absolutely furious but giving benefit of doubt here). Difficult to know how to deal with this - good for all DC to help in the house (and this might encourage him to think about sharing, co-operating with the domestic stuff) so that could perhaps continue. Feel for you, but if you read threads on MN there are a lot of guys around with SAH wives or partners who think that the money belongs to the breadwinner who generously funds the family. It takes partnership to "run" a family and I am constantly surprised and saddened at how little it happens in so many homes.

Amaretti · 04/02/2012 10:50

It's not weird. I agree with b/dog. He wouldn't be getting a key from me either.

noblegiraffe · 04/02/2012 10:56

Has he got a smartphone? I reckon he's sat on the doorstep rather than going to after-school clubs because he can connect to the house wifi and surf the internet.

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