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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that the woman upstairs probably shouldn't have had three kids?

71 replies

squareheadcut · 02/02/2012 17:39

The upstairs woman has 3 kids under 5 - oldest child is five years old, the younger boy is 2 and she's just had a newborn girl. Her five year old goes to the same school as my boy so now she's had the new girl, I've been abit lumbered and take her boy to school in the mornings.

I didn't mind at first, but not sure if it will ever end now as i miss the one to one chats abit with my boy in the morning, and her boy is not the nicest boy, he teases and answers back and he is not articulate at all - he can hardly explain himself at all which makes me think he doesn't get talked to much and he never has breakfast in the morning. they live in a 2 bed flat.

i was just thinking today that i'm a single parent of one and i put all my effort into him and he's a lovely sociable boy - but who knows how they'll turn out in the end, i guess we just can never tell ... i feel abit bad about writing all this stuff about her now - i should just have more kids myself and stop thinking about others ... you can say AIBU because i think i am .

OP posts:
minimisschief · 02/02/2012 17:41

yabu what is wrong with her having 3 kids?

Heyyyho · 02/02/2012 17:42

Why don't you take him some mornings but not all. It does seem a bit full on and she is not incapable of getting her act together for say 3 mornings a week instead of completely relying on you.

OddBoots · 02/02/2012 17:43

I'm not sure how the number of children she has relates to you taking her son to school. If you don't want to take her son then don't. It's fairest to give her a week or so notice but if you really don't want to do it then say no.

usualsuspect · 02/02/2012 17:45

Maybe you just can help her out for a couple of weeks until she sorts herself out?

But yabu to say how many children she can have

NorthernWreck · 02/02/2012 17:46

Does she have a partner? Maybe he could take her boy to school sometimes.

You probably are U really, and who can really judge whether her son is inarticulate because of being ignored or not.
My friends son is really inarticulate, and compared to my ds seems quite delayed in development, but I know for a fact he is not ignored, and is given lots of attention.
Plus she is a teacher, so better than me at most parenty stuff.

Be a good neighbour. What goes around comes around.

NorthernWreck · 02/02/2012 17:47

And-one 5 year old, one 2 year old and one newborn?
It must be a really tough time for her! I would be off my head in her situation!

Original poster
squareheadcut · 02/02/2012 17:48

yes i know - northernwreck you are right - she just called me up to thank me for being so nice in helping her out, i feel bad for writing this , it's no trouble for me to take her boy, he's nice enough really

OP posts:
Original poster
squareheadcut · 02/02/2012 17:49

i think her partner just came back from somewhere

OP posts:
NatashaBee · 02/02/2012 17:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HintofBream · 02/02/2012 17:49

How will having more kids yourself help? Have you a possible father in mind? Do you anticipate his having a role in their upbringing?

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 02/02/2012 17:50

I had a 5 year old, 2 year old and newborn plus and older boy. I was a wreck for the first 6 months (mild PND, exhaustion, trying to llok perfect so others wouldn't judge). I'm sure people looked at me and thought the same as the op Sad

AThingInYourLife · 02/02/2012 17:52

OMG - soon I'm going to have a 4 year old, a 2 year old and a baby Shock

People will say this about me! (probably with some justification :o )

LovesBeingWearingSkinnyJeans · 02/02/2012 17:53

Do you think she's s mnetter Grin

lukewarm · 02/02/2012 17:55

"she just called me up to thank me"

Are you sure she isn't a mnetter, and has just read your thread? Wink

bobbledunk · 02/02/2012 17:56

People shouldn't have more children than they can properly care for, circumstances don't have to be perfect though, life never is!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 02/02/2012 17:57

I wonder what people would say about your boy, OP? Not judging you because I don't know you or him or the lady upstairs, but I think most people would get a shock if they knew what people really thought of them and their progeny. Don't be so hasty to judge - especially since you'll have egg on your face when you're found to be wrong...

kerala · 02/02/2012 17:57

Am sure its tough for her but she chose it surely? Never quite understood how you can have a third then put head in hands and say its so hard etc. After 2 your know what the score is with babies and young children if you choose to have another you know what you are getting yourself into.

There was a study recently saying that the fewer children you had the happier the children were i.e. only children the happiest, then 2 and so on. Interesting.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 02/02/2012 17:58

Right kerala my 4 DC's are clearly doomed to a life of misery Hmm

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 02/02/2012 17:59

YA seriously BU to say people who you think are worse parents than you shouldnt have the amount of children you want

usualsuspect · 02/02/2012 17:59

My 3 turned out ok, thank you very much ,
and I'm one of 5 and I'm ok

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 02/02/2012 18:02

my DD is very inarticulate, in fact she doesn't speak at all at 5, you are being even more seriously U to judge peoples parenting on how articulate their children are.

kerala · 02/02/2012 18:03

Yes definitely doomed hobnob I would sell a few off. Am one of 3 myself and contemplating a third so not criticising. Study was widely publicised on radio 4 a couple of months ago was interesting I thought.

carabos · 02/02/2012 18:04

How many should she have had then?

SoupDragon · 02/02/2012 18:05

"he's nice enough really"

LOL - I hear the sound of back pedalling because that's not what you said in your OP at all!

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 02/02/2012 18:06

Is that so, kerala? Nice to hear something positive about only childhood for a change. I'm perfectly happy to believe it, although really I'm not sure ds is happier than his friends.