To insist he smokes outside even though its freezing

[Tiddlystinks]

Need some perspecutive as maybe I am overreacting. But DH normally smokes outside our house as I insist DD (1) should not be subjected to his fumes.

I don't like it and I think he stinks and don't always like him holding her beacause of fumes on his clothes. Though now as its very cold he smoked out the window in the kitchen after DD went to bed last night. I went postal but he said I was being a drama queen.

I don't think I am but it's hard to know. AIBU to lose my temper over this?

My mum smoked when I was a child. I hated it. She stank, to me - she wasn't a massively heavy smoker but definitely smelled of it, and smoked in the house all the time (hey, it was the 70s!) Physically it made me recoil from her, I remember it clearly. We don't have the greatest relationship and I remember a few years ago her saying to me accusingly 'Well when YOU were little you never wanted to hug me, you were NEVER an affectionate child'

My dad was a heavy smoker.. as a child I couldnt wait for him to get home so I could give him a hug. He was a painter and decorator by day, and even now I have a pair of his overalls, that I can still smell "my dad" on. He died 18 years ago.. (I was 24).. he didnt die of a smoking related illness. He died of a completely unrelated cancer.

I grew up with all my family smoking, apart from my mum... every other person was a heavy smoker.. and I have never suffered with asthma, or any other sort of chest infection..

Yanbu.
I do not know anyone who smokes.....but grew up in a house where dm smoked 40 Players every day and was dead at 62.
Our house stank, the walls were yellow eith nicotine, and the worst thing was when she smoked in the car...10 hours in a non airconditioned car to Wales.
I loathe smoking and think your dh is a knob.

Yanbu to loose your temper over it.
As a smoker, and I've never smoked in my house, I can reassure you that he will not freeze to death from smoking outside. Think he is the one being a drama queen not you.
Tell him to grow some balls, if he wants to smoke he can do it outside.

Smoked 30 a day for 30 years, gave up Sunday night at 10pm not smoked since, its the habit of smoking that is harder to break not the addiction.

But I always smoked in front of my kids when they were babies and growing up, I smoked when pregnant too, shame on me but then 24 years ago we did not know as much as we do now.

Why can't he smoke at the back door rather than actually outside?

YANBU, OP. He chooses to smoke and your little one is so young, so he should be prepared to go outside. MY DH has always smoked outside since I became pregnant and he actually prefers it to smoking inside now.

I used to smoke and gave up 10 yrs ago. However, my then housemate had asthma so I always smoked outside......even in the snow usually with a hangover

My mum smokes inside , the house stinks and I refuse to take ds there .

YANBU - for yours and your child's health.

And your point is, squeakytoy ?

Why be an apologist for smoking? What purpose does that serve except to demonstrate quite plainly that you're a smoker yourself and feel the need to justify it?

You've every right to smoke. You're lucky that you have a rosy glow when you think of your dad. It doesn't make smoking any less foul.

Before they gave up, my Dad and Step mum used to smoke outside - all through those Canadian winters - it's nothing like that cold here. I think that may have helped their resolve when they decided to quit.

FGS tell him to grow a pair , does he not own a coat ? i smoke , i smoke outside come rain ,shine,sleet ,snow or hail . If its cold i put a coat on .

Id say if hes not man enough to handle the cold then how would he ever handle chemo?! Its his choice yes but not yours so you shouldn't have to live with the nasty after effects of it including that awful horrid smell!

Id say if hes not man enough to handle the cold then how would he ever handle chemo?!

Hear, hear!!

I am another on off smoker who goes outside.

Outside, door shut is the only option here. Agree that smoking out of the window is as bad as smoking in the room
In hospital last year a patient leaned out of the window to smoke, the smell woke me up
It's the smoke on the smokers breath that is bad for kids, not just the smell.
Hope he sees sense soon

YANBU. He can always choose to give up if he doesn't like going outside ;)

Is it his house as well? If so, then YABU. You must have known when you met that he was a smoker. If it's such a big deal for you you shouldn't have hooked up with him. Who made you the boss?

YANBU. It's filthy, and OMG the kitchen? That's bloody disgusting!! I don't understand why people think standing at the open door or window will make it any better. It would all blow in. I wouldn't even consider a relationship with a smoker, tbh, but everyone has different standards, I suppose.

YANBU

IloveJudgeJudy - read the thread, OP stated that he agreed to smoke outside as soon as she found out she was pg for their dc's health. He is the one not sticking to his side of their joint agreement.

No one smokes in my house. I don't care how wet and cold it is outside-they don't have to smoke-they could be sensible and stay in the warm.