Having one child is not harder than having more?

[morebabiesmorework]

Friend recently decided to tell me why having one child was harder than me having 4. Friends child has no special needs/not a single parent/ child same age as my youngest.

AIBU to think she is talking crap?

Thanks bendy you have hit the nail right on the head. Why, just why would you? Don't get it at all.

It's not really 4 times the cooking though, surely you cook the same
But just bigger portions?

When people say for times the cooking I get the mental image of cooking individually for every child! Lol

I'm embaressed to say I agreed with her was in shock and the reeled afterwards.

kay If you make say, spag bol, you obviously need to chop more veg etc, more cleaning up, geeting drinks etc

Lol at agreeing That put her straight..

Sometimes it is. Whenever dd has a friend over I breathe a massive sigh of relief as she has someone to 'be' with - homework/playing/giggling.

When I just have her it's pretty full on and I get no break til bedtime.

I know bendy She will be forever in the dark, until number 2. evil cackle

As my one friend said the other day. I'm finding 2 easier than just 1. With 1 I was always trying to be perfect. Now that I have a pre-schooler and a toddler I sometimes spread snacks around the kitchen floor to keep them entertained and nourished for 30 minutes while i have a cuppa.

YANBU. More than one is always harder. Attempting to get into a car to go anywhere for one! Bathtime! Nappy time! I could go on for ever...

Erm, Laurie do you not think a house with more than one is full on til bedtime? And my eldest's bedtime is 9 so very little evening for us.

Funnily enough, when DSs have friends over it's easier for me, because they then tend to play 'nicely'. When it's just the 2 DSs, I have constant fights to break up and get no peace at all.

My friend is planning another but has said she doesn't know how she will cope. Sometimes until you have more than one you really can't understand what it is like.

Without overthinking this (or thinking at all, tbh) I can confidently say YANBU. What a daft thing to say.

I know Lockets, my toddler is currently a PITA and so is my tweenie.

I have 5 and my friend has 1.

Both lone parents. She does find it harder. And I see her struggle so believe her. Makes me sad she comes round to mine so she has people to share her 3 yr old with. She also likes the chaos and fuss

Well I only have one but I think your friend must be talking nonsense. Put it like this, I know a lot of women who, like me, returned to work full time after having one child. However, loads of them found that after a second DC it was much harder to manage that and so and became SAHM

How can anyone possible say?? You could have one kid who is makor work, you could have 3 kids who are absolute angels (does that exist).........totally depends on how organised you are etc etc......

There is no answer to that but yes a twattish thing to say!

I would take it as a compliment - you obviously make it look easy, at least to her!

I really do not understand why people compare these things, tbh. Pregnancy, childbirth, development, mother's personality, children's personalities, all of these things differ from person to person. In fact, the only constant we hear and read about children is 'well, that differs from situation to situation'. Why do we still compare?

I can imagine situations where a mother with one child does find it harder, generally, than a different mother with more children. And I can certainly imagine the situation the other way round, too.

It's not a competition. That's what you should say next time!

Totally get that it could be that she is struggling with the one she has, think she does but it just really irked me. i am probably really overthinking it but it feels (to me) like she is saying, my life is so much harder than yours.

I thinks she would be a bit if I said that as she genuinley belives this (i think).

Thanks ps.

Well I find two children twice as hard as having one. It's lovely having two but you can't get away from the fact that you have double the amount of washing, tantrums to deal with, clubs to organise etc. The more children you have the harder it will be but some people find it harder than others.

I'm often asking mothers of large families, how they manage so well with 3 or 4 kids when I struggle with two but nobody has really given me a proper answer yet.

I guess the only argument she could have is the amount of attention you have to give one child (I am a mother of one). I however only have one child simply because I couldnt cope with more than one so I doubt very much 4 would be easier!!!

morebabies some people are like that - they enjoy being hard done by.

My Dsis is a classic example - she had a baby and I didnt so her life was just so hard, then I had a baby but it was "much harder" having one of her babies age than my newborn............(I went back to work f/t, she didnt but still her life was harder)....then she had another baby and of course, its so much easier with one than two....I can never quite keep up with her hardship but I think she genuinly enjoys feeling like she has the shit end of the deal!