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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be taken aback this woman is getting DLA?

443 replies

lesley33 · 31/01/2012 23:39

Was talking at work with the receptionist about the changes to DLA and the move to PIP. I am worried about how this will negatively affect some people. However I was taken aback when the receptionist said that she would lose lower rate DLA which she got for depression.

I know she had depression a couple of years ago. But since then she has been in work every day and always seemed fine at work. I know people can be depressed and seem fine, but really if you can manage to work with depression then surely you shouldn't be getting DLA?

Just to say she is a very honest type of person and I am sure wouldn't have lied to get DLA. She hasn't been off sick. And what sticks in the throat a bit is I know there are other colleagues on low wages who have honestly struggled with mental health problems during this time such as anxiety and depression.

And I know you can work and get DLA. I just think if your disability is depression and you can work fine then you shouldn't get DLA. I am her manager so I know she has had no sick leave and there are no special measures in place to support her.

OP posts:

porcamiseria · 03/02/2012 10:56

here is what I cannot fathom

lets say someone wth depresson is earning £22K pa as a receptionist
What major difference does £80 a month make, really???? are you telling me that that they would NOT be able to work bar for this £80. most working people can manage to budget around £80 a month

what I am trying to say is that if we manage to cut down on the minor shit like this , we can give MORE to others who CANT work, or who really NEED money to get to work

but keep on calling a disablist tory!!!! go for it

Its like universal child benefit, I like it, but I can live without it. That how I feel about the lady the OP mentons

justanuthermanicmumsday · 03/02/2012 10:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Sudaname · 03/02/2012 11:08

My son gets it (MS sufferer) and he got a similiar perplexed reaction from his boss as he has never had a day off work as yet with his condition. BUT on days when he gets numbness in his hands and feet and does not feel safe to drive as a result - then he gets a taxi to work - paid for by , wait for it , his DLA.
Would the OP rather he and people like her colleague lounged on the settee when they feel too weak (physically or mentally) to drive or stand at a bus stop etc ?

porcamiseria · 03/02/2012 11:08

how does money help with mental health? I just dont understand? you are depressed, you manage to work, you earn money. what on earth wll £19 a week achieve?

GirlWithPointyShoes · 03/02/2012 11:10

Because the 22K she is earning doesn't cover the cost of living without a disability.

Say this lady suffers from sever panic attacks which are sporadic and happen fast. That extra money means that she is able to phone a taxi and get home or to a friend or family member quickly. If she didn't have that money she would probably end up with an ambulance ride to A&E (think of how much tax money that costs )

The waiting lists for adult counselling are shockingly high. People can wait up to 3 years to be seen so that extra money helps her pay for that until she can be seen.

Those are just small examples as to what people use the money for which have already been given. Without the option of that taxi to get to a safe place quickly or talking to a councillor people would find it hard to leave their homes.

Depression is not "feeling sad sometimes" It ruins peoples lives.

porcamiseria · 03/02/2012 11:11

sudaname, genuine queston. does he really not earn enough to pay £10 taxi fare? This is my issue, in the middle of a recession is this the best use of our money? why cant he pay for his own taxi??????

why is the only option for him to stay home?

it really lands as entitled, sorry.

people have TVs, Nintendos, mobiles, iphones. but they cant use their own money to get a taxi to work?

Kladdkaka · 03/02/2012 11:11

I know someone who is autistic and works full time. His work is his 'islet of ability'. He uses his DLA to pay for lunch in the work canteen every day and a prepacked sandwich for the evening. He is completely incapable of cooking or preparing food for himself at home. He also uses his DLA to pay for service washes as he is completely incapable of doing his own laundry.

But according to some on this thread he's not disabled because he holds down a full time job. I'll let him know, I'm sure he'll be very pleased.

GirlWithPointyShoes · 03/02/2012 11:17

Jesus you really don't get it do you. At all.

It's not as if you ring up the DLA office, cry and they send you money. They have to have evidence from doctors who know much more about depression than you do (that may surprise you) that see a reason people may need extra money to lead a relativity normal life.

I'll trust their judgement over yours any day.

sixlostmonkeys · 03/02/2012 11:19

ok porc - you don't understand depression. I'll accept that and won't try and explain.
But, try this. Think of your life. Think of something that if I was to take away from you would make it difficult for you to get to work or even just pose a problem enough to affect your life and work life. Lets say for eg it's your car. Many people get to work without a car don't they? But if I take yours away can you actually get to work (maybe your cummute is long) Would you have to switch to using 2 buses? Would the extra commute make you tired. lose family time, exhaust you so that you can not work well? Maybe the result could be you will lose your job?
Maybe you can work round this problem and carry on as normal, but surely you can grasp how some people would struggle if they lost their car. Can you?

Can you now understand that it has nothing to do with the amount of money or the salary earned? It's the crutch, it's the help, it;'s the lifeline, it's the difference between be able to and not being able to.

porcamiseria · 03/02/2012 11:20

no you dont get it

I am not saying "dont give them money, spend it on bombs instead"
I am not saying dont give anyone DLA
I am just saying that when amounts are that small, they can probably fund it out of their own salary
Then people that are in desperate need, can have MORE

and people should manage to pay for their own bloody taxis if they work IMO

bored now, you dont think I am listening to you. I dont think you are listening to me. offski

Sevenfold · 03/02/2012 11:21

do you really believe that if this money is taken away from some disabled people, who you(and untrained person who doesn't vene know them) deem unworthy, that it will be given ot other disabled people??
really. you really think this?

GirlWithPointyShoes · 03/02/2012 11:25

There goes another ignorant person who clearly has no idea how the economy works so blames the first thing they see for the fact that they pay too much tax.

Ovine. Bahhh bye. :)

Thumbwitch · 03/02/2012 11:26

porca - I do understand what you're saying.
The thing is though, that along with everyone else, you don't know how close to the breadline the lady in the OP is. She may need every penny of her wages just to live on; the DLA may go towards fortnightly counselling. It may go towards her prescription charges (if she still has to pay them) and it might just be the cushion she needs in case she has to go on unpaid leave due to her illness. But we just don't know - and you're right, she may be in a more comfortable situation than other people who need DLA and who can't work at all - but that doesn't mean she doesn't need it too.

PlentyOfPubeGardens · 03/02/2012 11:30

My household income is around £46K. £80/month either way would make a noticeable difference to our finances. For someone on a much lower salary, struggling with the EXTRA costs of disability it probably makes all the difference.

I don't know what sort of world you live in if you think £80/month is so negligible an amount it's not worth bothering with.

ThePerfectFather · 03/02/2012 11:34

Anecdote after anecdote in here. "My friend is disabled are you trying to prise money from his hands".

No. As porca has said, this is not about taking money from people who need it. These examples about a guy taking a taxi - that's just ridiculous. If his budget is SO TIGHT that £19 a week is the difference between working and not working, then your example is pretty precise isn't it? It's almost like using an anecdote to try to win an argument.

Why not look at the economic logic behind giving away in welfare, more than you make in income tax? Have ANY of you got anything to say about that? Or are you just going to use the propaganda approach and say "what about my poor friend with MS, are you going to have him executed in the street!?!?"

You're living up to every liberal stereotype there is.

porcamiseria · 03/02/2012 11:36

I am getting unconfotable, people with health issues are super vulnerable, and I really get how people feel like Tories are picking on the already disadvantaged and weak. I also am extrenely grateful that my disabled dad with cancer is lucky enough to get ambulance take him to and back from his chemo

BUT, if he did not get it, we would have to pay for a taxi, and we could afford it.

Thats all I am trying to say, that there is a recession and SOME people , who are working, could manage to fund their own taxi

but I will shut up, as can see how this is NOT coming across very well

sixlostmonkeys · 03/02/2012 11:39

perfectfather - what would happen to the 'welfare give aways' : income tax , should these people stop working (and paying tax) and claim benefits?

Thumbwitch · 03/02/2012 11:41

Let's get back to the tax-dodging then... If they sorted out the taxdodgers, there'd be more money in the pot.

Sevenfold · 03/02/2012 11:59

but that would never be given to disabled people.

PlentyOfPubeGardens · 03/02/2012 12:05

Why not look at the economic logic behind giving away in welfare, more than you make in income tax? Have ANY of you got anything to say about that?

Yes - make more in income tax by chasing all the extremely wealthy people who work so hard to avoid paying any.

Why not look at the economic logic of supporting people with disabilities to stay in work so they don't end up living unfulfilling miserable lives costing more in the long run?

GirlWithPointyShoes · 03/02/2012 12:10

These people don't do sensible Plenty. They prefer incensed.

Original poster

lesley33 · 03/02/2012 12:23

sudaname - ms is a horrible illness. But I am surprised if only numbness means that your son can't get a bus? I am assuming that you mean he is too tired to stand at a bus stop? I say this because I know someonew ho has permanent numbness in 1 leg and foot - can't feel a thing - but is very physically active every day.

OP posts:

sixlostmonkeys · 03/02/2012 12:28

lesley lesley lesley - stop doing this! please. Stop judging people. Stop thinking you know best, that you know how people should be. stop it. You don't know these people, you . just. don't . know.......

Sevenfold · 03/02/2012 12:28

wow and the op now judges someone else

Sevenfold · 03/02/2012 12:29

dear op can you please tell me how you can decide who is and who isn't disabled? are you god?

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