to be fuming at the "protecting our children" programme on BBC2 tonight?

[runtybunty]

I do not understand how a young child can be filmed like this. They stated at the start of the programme that they could not identify the 3 year old boy for his own protection. So how can they show his house, his parents and every other view of "toby" other than face-on? You would have to be a complete dimwit not to recognise the child if you knew him in real life.

I thought that too

From what i understand they filmed different cases but didn't use all of them. They kept this story because the family re-located. They didn't know at the start what the outcome would be so had to keep his identity a secret.

As did I. I do think it gave a good insight into what social workers do, but I don't believe the child's rights were taken into consideration at all.

Well, he is now in foster care probably miles away from Bristol. It was a bloody good programme though. It certainly showed how difficult and thankless the job is. I don't know how it could be done quite so effectively without showing an actual family. Most people would be unable to believe what is actually happening in some homes without seeing it for real.

I just thought it was very sad, just shows that sometimes love isn`t enough.

Didn't see it.
What was the gist?

I have often thought that it is a shame that positive stories, whether kept in their birth family or adopted, could not be publised to break down some of the myths in CP, it's an ongoing ethical dilemma, i am in two minds tbh.

Sorry posted too early. Meant to say that there is more to being a mum or dad than loving your children. You have to nurture them in body and soul. The mum obviously loved the children but could not look after them properly. What a heartbreaking decision she made.

Did she ask for them to be fostered?
Why coukd she not cope?
Sorry to have missed it,

Incredibly sad, very interesting programme. Heartbreaking really.
I wonder if he will be able to have access to it at 18? it is a record of his life, what happend and why he went into care.
I try hope he finds a loving family he was coming on so well.

sounds like one for me to watch on catch up!

The mother had some LD's and could not meet the childs needs across the board. There was neglect, the father was in the picture at first. It fell apart when she became pregnant again (which is usually does).

Some of the families i work with, i often think that with two children they probably could have parented 'good enough' but went on to have more. You have to have threshholds.

Hey- a life story book will be done as well. this includes pictures of the birth family, each foster placement, time spent in the contact centre etc. It helps the adult to make sense of their memories.

It was very well made and showed the constant dilemma that social workers face. Sadly, neither parent was what I'd call cruel - although I thought the father was a complete arse - but their general hopelessness was something that overwhelmed them. Poor little boy too. Clearly very frustrated by his lack of communication.

I would have had no problem with the programme if they really had made him unidentifiable. Maybe I am wrong here but I think I would recognise him if he lived in my neighbourhood or went to school with my children. I broke my heart watching it but I did think it was very well made - it's just the protection of the child's identity I take issue with.

I only saw a bit of it - heartbreaking, there's just no way I could work in this environment :( It was so sad she gave them up for adoption so that they could have a better life together - then they got split up anyway and Toby (who was older and has SN) is still in foster care... would she have been any worse a mother to them (with help) than them going through 'the system'?

Such a sad program.
I teach young people who have been brought up in similar circumstances and it is unfathomable to me, yet it is all they have ever known, and you have to just help and nurture them in any way you can.

Hats off to social workers, you do an unenviable job under very difficult conditions.

I know chippingin and that is what worries me - that being identified from this programme could in some way have an impact on his life in the future.

I also think that her hand was forced by toby going into foster care when she was taken into hospital while pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I don't think she was a great mum by any means. I really hope that he is able to stay in a foster home and continue in a family environment but everything I have read about the "care" system makes me very dubious that he is going to have a better chance than if he had stayed with his mum and she was helped with her parenting skills. Yes she made the choice to give them up for adoption but I think she was just tired of fighting the system - she needed support, especially when the dad was out of the picture. It seemed as though before they got taken away she was adamant about keeping her children.

I don't know - the title of the first episode "damned if you do, damned if you don't" is certainly very apt for those in this field. I'm not slating social workers here and I can certainly see why they had concerns for the child in this case. I just feel quite upset for "toby" and the mum and wish there could have been a happier outcome.

For those who missed it, there are 2 more parts to come, this was 1 of 3. Am assuming it's the same time next week....

It upset me very much. I agree with Chipping. I can't understand why the mother/parents couldn't have had some indepth parenting support. I didn't think the father was an arse - he needed support (and I don't blame him for loathing the sw! self-righteous do-gooder imo). imo the sw's failed the entire family - or the system fails families. It was obvious that when Tiffany went into hospital CP would swoop to put Toby into temp foster care. Temp indeed - they knew what they were aiming at, to keep him there. I can't see how his needs have been served - he is still in care, his mother only gave him up to give him a better life. She was pretty beaten down by the entire process by that stage and it was inevitable she would 'make that decision'. The whole thing was absolutely desolate imo. Should never have been filmed (at least not showing the parents' faces) and imo did not show CP in a good light at all. imo the CP policies are bonkers - the mother would have been a good mother with the right support. Instead her boy is still in foster care.

Very often when the children are removed the parents can see what the issues were at lot better and realise that they cannot provide what the children need.

Tobys speech improved very quickly and so did his behaviour, this is the evidence that it was environmental factors not totally SN. Although services can be put inplace for some things that the parents cannot manage, things such as stimulating play, making eye contact, reasonable communication cannot be taught. Some parents realise that they don't want the responsibility of child rearing, hygiene, routines etc.

Springy- it was said many times that services were offered but the family wouldn't engage. Had the boy been put to bed and fed by the father a EPO wouldn't have been granted,or do you think that SS should have left him without food for three days?

Parents won't engage or acept services, there has to be a threshhold, before the child is disabled by neglect.

They didn't show the full process btw. A CIN review tomove to CP would have been more detailed and then there would be LAC reviews. You saw a snap shot.