I am feeling like an AXE MURDERER! AAAARRRGGGHHHHH!

[SaggyOldClothCatPuss]

PMT,
cramps,
DP being and arse,
stressing out about tax return, stuck on first page and the helpline is shut.
I WANT TO BREAK SOMETHING!

You're not swearing enough. It'll help. Promise. Really bad words in amusing combinations. Then apply chocolate liberally, cry a bit, perhaps kick a piece of innocent furniture. You must let it out or the rage will turn your insides purple.

FUCKCUNTBOLLOCKSBASTARDSHIT!

Done that Secret, it didnt help! fucking tax return, fucking DP fucking fuck fuck fuck

Can't help with cramps, pmt or husband being an arse but may be able to help with he tax return what you stuck on?

Excellent swearing. When does the tax return need to be done by? You should just leave it tonight tbh. You're in no state to be form filling.

Have you ever watched Black Books?

Well, I work for the bloke, but apparently, im technically self employed! if i tick the self employed part, it asks me how many businesses i have. Do i tick the first box as an employee? my head might explode!

wtf is black books?

It's a very good sitcom. The very first episode is about a man trying to do his tax return. You can watch the episode .

Basically, the very cross bookshop owner gets pissed and ranty. It's funny.

Saggy, I work for someone, but am technically self-employed, and I have to tick that I have one business, which is just called by my full name. Then, in the description of business box, I put that I work on a self-employed basis for the people I work for.

Sorry, that wasn't clear. Tick self employed, say one business, call it then put what I said ^^ there in the description box.

Ah ok. Well the tax office will ask you a load of questions to decided which you are. Basically things like Are you PAYE? Does your "employer" deduct tax and national insurance?

If you have terms and conditions of employment and your employer determining things like your working hours, and you get paid holiday sounds as though your employed.

If however you pay your own tax and national insurance, don't get holiday or sick pay and determine your working hours/days sounds as though you'd be self employed.

If you want some help and have any questions your welcome to message me save you putting all your info all over the thread :)

Thanks IMcHunt. Im actually terrified of entering anything. Im sitting here crying my eyes out! I really like my job, but my boss likes to make his life easier! Weve been trying to remortgage and have hit a hurdle over this as until I file the return I have no accounts to show, and im terrified if I get it wrong Ill mess everything up, and dp is no fucking use whatsoever and my tummy hurts!

That video, skip to 8mins 40ish. Hilarious.

Mel, the second option. I get paid thats all. Havent paid any tax anywhere yet!

When does it have to be in by? Can you do it, but not finalise it, and talk it through with the helpline in the morning?

From my personal experience, once you get over the Fear, it's not that hard. You will need your bank interest (net figures) too, by the way, so if you know where the annual interest statements are, dig them out. If you don't know, don't panic - your bank will be able to tell you how much they've paid you net.

Do you get interest on an overdraft?

In that case I'd agree with iMchunt, self employed, one business. Also forgot to mention because of the strikes we've actually been given until Feb 2nd to submit without incurring Penalties to give anyone with last minute questions a chance so try not to worry you haven't got to do it tonight. (if you google HMRC strikes you'll see it says deadline extended). Good luck xxx

Only in the bank's favour, unfortunately...

Complete thread hijack, but I'm sort of in the same Positin as OP with regards to tax - boss made me go self employed so he didn't have to give me maternity pay in September, but he determines my work hours etc. I'm supposed to pay all my tax and NC and don't get sick pay or holidays. Where does that leave me with the tax return thing? I asked my boss and e said not to worry about it, if they need anything they'd contact me...

go for a walk round the block?

cry it lets some stress out.

Thanks. I'm not freaking out quite so much now I've seen that. I'm going to just go for it. I'm under my taxable limit for that year, so I should be ok. I don't know what's wrong with me really, I'm just freaking!

Twll, you might need to register as self employed. I'd give HMRC a ring and ask.

If my belly didn't hurt so much, I'd go for the first installment of couch25k! Instead I have the transformer of the laptop stuffed down my trousers in lieu of a hot water bottle!
Showy, I have the 'little book of calm' somewhere, not sure it would be much help though!