Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask how much money you have a month that is yours to do what you like with?

124 replies

fullofregrets · 30/01/2012 15:36

Just cos I'm nosey. :)

And also because I have about £150 a month to spend how I like (clothes, going out, birthday presents etc) and DH seems to think that is a lot.

I don't think it is that much, I do pay for DS's gym out of it too actually so that is £5 a week so suppose am left with about £130.

Is £30 a week that much free spending money? I don't think it is! DH probably doesnt buy things has often as me but when he does they cost about four times as much (I buy clothes from asda, he buys specialist golf clothes) so probably averages the same. Also he drinks when he goes out and I don't. Although I do end up stopping everyone home as only sober person which does cost me in petrol instead!

Just wondered.

OP posts:
molly3478 · 30/01/2012 17:54

30 a week all too yourself every week would be a lot to me personally. I think it all depends on your own household if you can afford that much thats fine.

MiladyGardenia · 30/01/2012 17:57

It really depends what your household income is, and if your spending is proportionate to that.

I don't have a set amount each month, but almost certainly spend more than £150 p/m. I am a SAHM and DH pays 'housekeeping' into my account each month. What I spend on myself comes out of that, and if there's a shortfall then he tops it up. But it is kept within the household income.

Very very occasionally DH might raise an eyebrow at the top-up needed (over Christmas, for instance) but we both realised, on a joint grocery shopping trip, that he had no idea of the real cost of things.

callmemrs · 30/01/2012 18:21

I have quite a lot per month left over from my salary after bills are paid. I won't post how much because it seems a bit vulgar, and also people will no doubt jump up and down and tell
Me how rich I must be..

To put it into context, we no longer pay childcare fees, I work full time and have always worked apart from two brief maternity leaves and therefore have worked my way up the career ladder.

Context is everything. When our kids were in childcare, I had about 50p a month spending money for myself- seriously! If I didn't work, I'd probably have very little too.

DozyNosy · 30/01/2012 18:32

Nothing at all. It all goes towards food, bills, mortgage etc. Anything left over goes towards paying off debts that ran up when we were both made redundant.

Squitten · 30/01/2012 18:38

I have £500 in my account each month. DH never ever asks what I spend it on (SAHM) but I rarely buy myself stuff - just hate shopping! Generally, I'll use it to buy birthday presents, stuff for the kids, etc, and I stuff what's left at the end of the month into an ISA. Some months I might then splurge on clothes or a night out

Memoo · 30/01/2012 18:40

£00.00

Hairynigel · 30/01/2012 18:45

£250 a month for clothes and random spends for me and ds. Don't use it for birthdays and stuff though.
Some months I'll go well under budget and others I'll end up spending a lot more, tends to even itself out well though.

Am also a sahm

eurochick · 30/01/2012 18:49

No set amount. Whatever is left after I have paid into the joint account for mortgage and bills is mine, but I am a saver so will not spend anything like all of it. We keep our finances separate save for household bills.

We both work and there are no kids (yet).

BackforGood · 30/01/2012 18:50

Good post by callmemrs.
When we first had income that kept up with our outgoings (about 7 yrs into our marriage!) then we set up standing orders so we each had the same amount of "pocket money" each month (everything that comes into the house comes into the joint account). It works for us because dh is a spender and I'm a saver. So, although I have the same amount available each month (a bit less than you OP), I actually don't spend very much of it at all, and have built up a lot of savings. dh, OTOH, saves for expensive stuff for his hobbies and spends his money. By having our 'own' pots of money I don't resent him spending his, it's his choice so to do.
The amount though is totally related to your family income, or, more importantly, the money the family has each month after you have paid what you need to.

AfternoonNap · 30/01/2012 18:55

Guess we're quite lucky - we each have £150 to spend a month as we please. Mine goes on clothes/make up and nights out and DH spends his on going out and clothes. If we go out together (once a month maybe) we either divide the bill or carve it out of that week's housekeeping. We also get a "dividend" to spend in the sales twice a year. We do have a very strict approach to our money. We've been unemployed in the past and that leaves its mark ........

Charlotteperkins · 30/01/2012 18:55

I just spend what I want to spend. Works out at 150-£200 PCM.

eatyouwithaspoon · 30/01/2012 18:59

nothing now as my entire wages go on bills feeding my family and keeping a roof over our heads.

HappyMummyOfOne · 30/01/2012 19:00

Depends on what your husbands income is as to whether its a lot or not.

It seems very off though to refuse to buy something your DH asks given he is the one who has worked in order to bring the money into the house.

I think his idea of overpaying the mortgage or investing is far better given you already have a generous allowance for just you. If you want extra, you could always return to work.

RainboweBrite · 30/01/2012 19:20

I don't have a set amount as such, but this thread has inspired me to keep a note of anything I. spend on myself for February. I have a budget of £150 per week for food, travel, childcare, activities and teeats, basically anything except bills and rent.

FabbyChic · 30/01/2012 19:25

This month £299 but other months it has been less, it depends, its more this month as Im giving up smoking which cost me £98 a month.

Some months its £100. But I do live alone, and have no children to support, so really I should have more, but have phone contract and iPad contract, car insurance etc., which is not cheap.

gamerwidow · 30/01/2012 19:35

Probably about £200 per month. DH and I have own bank accounts which our wages go into then DH gives me a fixed amount to cover half our monthly Direct Debits plus half of child care and then pays half the shopping weekly. Any money that I have left after the bills have gone out is then mine to spend or save as I want.

Original poster
fullofregrets · 30/01/2012 19:54

happymummy yes he works to bring money into house, but I work at home thus saving childcare money.
He doesnt ask me to buy things because he can't afford them, it is because it is easier for me to go to shops and I think it is a bit unfair for me to spend it out of 'my money' when he has more than enough of his own l, trust me! And also given that I often buy DS things out of what is 'my money' whereas DH does not.

OP posts:
Original poster
fullofregrets · 30/01/2012 19:59

Also I often have budgeted what I need for that week so if he suddenly asks me to buy something that is £20, that leaves me only £10 for that week. If I've planned to go out or take DS somewhere I then can't do it.

OP posts:
callmemrs · 30/01/2012 20:03

If you're not working, tbh I don't really know what you're complaining about. You say your personal spending money averages out about the same, because you buy more frequently, but he spends more expensively.

If your dh wants to overpay the mortgage that's a very sensible idea and far better than spending on non essentials. Once we stopped paying childcare, we massively overpaid our mortgage every month, it really saves so much long term

HazleNutt · 30/01/2012 20:13

No pocket money, I earn a good salary and we both spend what we want/need.

Sidalee7 · 30/01/2012 20:21

Usually have about £600 after bills/food shopping/petrol - I save 300 and the other 300 is for me. If I have a heavy month -for example a holiday - I can top it up from my savings.

Im separated but it was the same when I was with dh.

lechatnoir · 30/01/2012 20:31

It's all family money

LittlePickleHead · 30/01/2012 20:33

I hate the whole 'you're not working how can you complain' attitude.

She is ENABLING her husband to work by being a SAHM. If she worked then they would both have to split childcare costs (as well as any bills) and it's pretty likely they would be worse off going by the myriad threads dissecting how difficult it is to pay for childcare.

It should be joint money and a joint decision how it is spent - if OP's DH is witholding money and asking for her to pay for stuff 'for him' thus leaving her short, there seems to be something a bit wrong there. Yes, it is sensible to overpay the mortgage, BUT it shouldn't be a case of her tells her how it's done and thus it is so, stop moaning non-worker. Surely if she feels she doesn't have enough, then her DH should listen to her and they can resolve it together?

mumnotmachine · 30/01/2012 20:38

Absolutely diddly squat,
At the moment even with slashing everything back as far as we can we currently have about £45 a month more going out than we have coming in.

saynothing · 30/01/2012 20:39

On going back to work after mat leave I have £640 left over a month after all bills childcare etc are paid, hoping to save £440 and left myself with £200 a month, which I didn't really think was a lot until I seen that some people have nothing, so thanks for the kick up the arse that I needed, 50 quid a wk on crap is actually quite a bit, thinking of reducing it and being a bit more sensible!