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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask how much money you have a month that is yours to do what you like with?

124 replies

fullofregrets · 30/01/2012 15:36

Just cos I'm nosey. :)

And also because I have about £150 a month to spend how I like (clothes, going out, birthday presents etc) and DH seems to think that is a lot.

I don't think it is that much, I do pay for DS's gym out of it too actually so that is £5 a week so suppose am left with about £130.

Is £30 a week that much free spending money? I don't think it is! DH probably doesnt buy things has often as me but when he does they cost about four times as much (I buy clothes from asda, he buys specialist golf clothes) so probably averages the same. Also he drinks when he goes out and I don't. Although I do end up stopping everyone home as only sober person which does cost me in petrol instead!

Just wondered.

OP posts:
SquishyCinnamonSwirls · 30/01/2012 16:44

I honestly don't know. I have my own account that my earnings go into, out of that comes food, petrol, running costs for the cars, pet stuff (food, grooming, vaccs etc), meals out, dd's activities, clothes, haircuts, dentists etc. All the little bits that add up but aren't a fixed monthly d/d. I save whatever is left at the end of the month but if I or dd need something then I spend it. Some weeks that's nothing, but some it can be a seemingly huge amount.
I certainly wouldn't begrudge my husband anything, or count the pennies. If he asked for me to get something and I could afford it then I would get it no questions, just as he would for me.

OhdearNigel · 30/01/2012 16:44

I would be like a dog with two tails with £130 a month to spend entirely how I like.

BigBoobiedBertha · 30/01/2012 16:48

I have no idea as we have a joint account and we both spend what we need/want to within reason. Neither of us are particularly spendthrift and we are never overdrawn. I don't have an allowance, thank goodness - that would lead to all sorts of arguments and many questions about what I spend it on I am sure.

£30 doesn't sound like a lot per week. I probably average that although it can be a lot more but often less than that. Whether it is fair or not depends on how much your DH is spending on himself and how much you have left at the end of the month. £150 is too much if you are scrabbling around to pay the food or electricity bills but not a lot if you have £500 sitting there every month and nowhere for it to go except savings. I would be more worried about DH thinking it was too much and wanting to know what I spent it on rather than whether it is a lot. If you can afford it as a family and he is still querying it, I wouldn't be happy if I were you OP.

Runoutofideas · 30/01/2012 16:49

I am a SAHM and my DH transfers a set amount of money every month into my account - we don't have a joint acct as he is an accountant and would want receipts for cups of coffee! (He's not tight, just likes to double check everything, which is why it is easier if he just pays me a lump sum as then in his head it is "gone"!)
This money is generally used for any clothes/haircuts/lunches out etc that I might want, plus generally I pay for things like the children's ballet/gymnastics etc out of it. I normally don't spend all of it, but it means there is money left over for extra treats in the holidays for the children. Big expenses or children's birthday presents etc I would put on my credit card and he pays the bill. Presents for DH would come out of the money he has transferred to me. It works for us.
In answer to your OP, I don't think £150 is a lot, but it very much depends on the total household income as to whether it is reasonable.

zukiecat · 30/01/2012 16:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsHeffley · 30/01/2012 16:51

None Sad

Gumby · 30/01/2012 16:52

If I didn't work I'd have no money to meet friends in coffee shops & would have no social life

zukiecat · 30/01/2012 16:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

craftynclothy · 30/01/2012 16:53

Hmm, well supposedly £100. £20 of that is for my mobile contract so I have £80 spare. I use that for taking kids out during the week/holidays too. The sewing class I go to comes out of the joint account though so that's another 20-odd quid. Then dh also gives me £50 a month to save for my OU courses. Then I teach craft workshops and run a teeny business on Etsy so any money I make from that minus NI/Insurance also goes in the "study fund".

Hulababy · 30/01/2012 16:55

No idea if the honest truth. But enough to not have to think about it I guess.

We have a joint account. DH earns a very good salary. These days I earn not very much, but I decided this - with DH obviously - in order to be the one available to look after DH, do school runs, do after school clubs, keep on top of house, etc. So its a partnership and it works for us. And so all money goes in and out of one pot. We can each spend what we like from it, although larger purchases are only ever do with both of us knowing in advance.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 30/01/2012 16:55

Whatever I like so long as I have it - we both get paid into our own bank accounts and then both ensure enough goes into the household one to cover expenses. When I was out of work or on mat leave I used to just help myself to the household one, again subject to there being enough in there to cover expenses. I deal with all the household outgoings so I always know how much is where.

As for what I do actually spend on me, £100 to £150 a month would be my best guess, to include clothes, nights out with friends, cosmetics, haircuts, books etc.

YankNCock · 30/01/2012 16:58

In our budget, DS (2.5) and I have £20 a week and it's usually spent like this:

£2-parent baby swimming
£4-soft play place
£10-lunch out one day
£4-little treats or activity

So I don't really have anything on my own to spend. Everything else comes out of the joint account as and when we need it, but it's very strict as we're on a debt management plan.

HerRoyalNotness · 30/01/2012 17:03

We set limits in the interest of not frittering money away, so we have about equiv. 125quid each per month to cover things like:

friday night work drinks / meals
coffee
lunch during the week

DH is the one who complains it's not enough, but that's because I just spend what I want when I want (which doesn't bother him). Hence trying to reign it in and stick to a budget a bit more. We waste untold amounts of money, and each year end, I think WTF? where did it all go? 2012 must be different.

freedom2011 · 30/01/2012 17:04

I've budgeted 20 quid a month, most of which goes on a once a month meal out. I am without income other than unemployment benefit/savings but as I am just jobless as opposed to being a parent, I haven't asked my DH for anything in the many months I have been looking for work and still being paying my half of everything. In a couple of months I won't even have unemployment benefit or savings. Hmm, have to find some work pronto.

bumpybecky · 30/01/2012 17:06

£40 per month just for me :)

not including clothes (that's another £40 per month, but for me and DH)

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 30/01/2012 17:07

Probably about £150, but I don't spend it all every month and some months I need more and so I use our joint account.

Do you have access to a joint account OP, or only to the money your DH puts in your own account?

VickityBoo · 30/01/2012 17:18

Nothing! We have one joint account so we can keep tabs of every penny that comes in/leaves.

I'd love to have it differently but this is what we had to do in order to straighten and control our finances. £150 would be amazing! I struggle to get a £15 hair cut every 6 months as I always feel it should go towards something else.

Original poster
fullofregrets · 30/01/2012 17:19

Only to my own account.
DH's pay is going up approx 300 a month from April, I have asked if I could possibly have an extra 50 a month as it would just make my life a lot easier but he wants to buy premium bonds each month with it or overpay mortgage. Just to add we have quite a lot of premium bonds already and some savings. DH has no idea how much things cost. I used to buy all food shopping before being sahm. DH initially thought I should be able to buy all food and household things including nappies for 200 a month Never going to happen.
I have suggested maybe overpaying or buying premium bonds with some of it and splitting the rest but he thinks 150 is a lot. I tend to disagree, I bought new boots this month (old ones were falling apart) and then did not have very much money left over. DH spends a lot of time abroad and everything then is covered by his expenses, so two weeks of the month all his spending really is covered.

OP posts:
mumeeee · 30/01/2012 17:25

I don't have any particular amount and neither does DH. We spend as and when we need something. occasionally one or both of us might spend £150 but we don't do it every month.

tanfastic · 30/01/2012 17:25

I have a similar amount "spare" but I rarely spend it on me it kind of gets frittered away on the days I'm at home with DS (4 days a week). I take him to soft play, that's 3 quid, drinks for us, another 3 quid, day after we'll go to the park, he will want an ice cream or a toy from the pound shop. I also buy all my clothes and ds's clothes out of that money. In fact I spend very little of it on myself really.

Doobydoo · 30/01/2012 17:36

-£300 (grin) (hmm)...so none!

hellhasnofury · 30/01/2012 17:38

Bugger all. No wages left at the end of the month.

candytuft63 · 30/01/2012 17:49

About £30. Public transport price increases have basically wiped out any cash I had spare at the end of the month. DH pays the mortgage (only a few months left to go ) and household bills. I save £50 pm in a credit union. I am leaving work soon and will keep my head above water by taking more cleaning jobs locally.

BellaVita · 30/01/2012 17:52

We do not have his and hers money. We buy what we like when we like.

DialsMavis · 30/01/2012 17:54

No set amount, we just buy what we need/ want if can afford it that month (not much as we are skint). When I have run out of student loan then DP always makes sure there is £50 or £100 in the joint account do I don't need to come cap in hand to him when I or the DC need things.
We have a similar attitude to £ and never question each other about what we spend as we both know how much we have coming in and how much we have going out.