Fricking d fricking h and my THIRD fricking jumper ruined. AIBU to express mild irritation?

[Slambang]

I mean, how bloody difficult is it for a highly intelligent human being to learn that cashmere/ wool/ silk jumpers do not go in a hot wash and a tumble dry?

The first (a beautiful red pure silk jumper my parents bought me from China) - the colour is now in garish streaks. Looks like a tie dye.
I kept my cool. Explained it was ruined and what not to put in a hot wash.

The second - a pink stripey wool job. Now suitably sized for a larger doll. I kept my cool. Explained AGAIN what doesn't do well in a tumble dry.

Today my favourite turqoise cashmere jumper. Shrunk to a quarter of the size and holey.

Today I raised my voice and threw said jumper on the floor.

Dh thinks I am being totally unreasonable as he was 'only trying to help'. He has walked out in a huffy strop.

To add context dh has been made redundant. We are both in a panic about money. I trying and sometimes failing to be sympathetic rock. But I feel this is Not An Excuse. Am I right?

What a load of bollocks.."how dare you tell him cant do the washing properly, you'll emasculate him". He can't do the fucking washing properly, its called a fact.

I told my husband not to put anything in the tumble drier if it didn't have a circle-in-a-square symbol. One ruined jumper he later he said "I checked! Look, it has the circle-in-a-square symbol, right there on the label, underneath that cross."

To be fair 3different items there. And for each onehe didn't know. Probably because he has washed the same way all his life with clothes that clean just fine the way he does it.

maybe he shouldn't bother cleaning your clothes in future. you are pretty ungrateful.

Oh fuck.

Thought it was over... on our bed dh has put FOUR new cashmere jumpers in the wrong size.

We can't afford them. We have 1 more pay cheque due to last god knows how long. This must have cost dh at least a week and a half's shopping budget even though he says there is a sale on in M and S.

Have told him it's OTT. He's told me to not be a killjoy.

So, do I take all back for a refund? Keep 1 or 2? Keep all and appear grateful?

STUPID MAN.

I was pretty ungrateful when dH shrank my stuff too. He wNted to help and he felt bad. But FFS it's not rocket science.

Feel for you slambang, it's not that your DH doesn't understand labels, etc it's they don't understand washing clothes at different temperatures, etc...it took years to break my DH habit of slinging his clothes in the bath once a fortnight with fairy liquid, I'm not kidding, even though he had a washing machine before I moved in many years ago. To him clothes are just something you wear, it doesn't matter what they look like or if covered in oil so long as they don't stink. When I showed him the how many times the machine goes on thread, his response was you're all insane and thinks my 3-4 washes a week are too many :)

Luckily he thinks my beautiful Miele condenser dryer is the work of the devil and clothes are hung round the house by him rather than use it.

DS1, 21, on the other hand has to be brow beaten not to put my bra's or jumpers in dryer and to shake things out properly before hanging on the line....BUT at least they all do their bit without complaining. I just bite my tongue and rehang the washing.

Keep one or two. Be grateful. Dont mention the sizes. Take the others back.

oh the wee soul... how sweet of him.

Take them back, get two in correct size and refund the other two. Everyone's happy and you eat pasta all next week.

If it were not for his job I wouldn´t have any sympathy with him tbh.

I mean we women, we are born knowing this stuff, aren´t we?

We didn´t learn it by reading the care labels, did we??!!

On a thread hijack seperate note-long sleeves on cotton shirts keep shrinking on the first wash!

I wash at 30 & don´t tumble dry.

What´s going on?

Husband reckons it´s only been in the last couple of years-so has something changed manufacturing wise?

Take them all back, get the right size (so you can actually wear them) in 1 or 2 and get a refund for the rest. DON'T mention the wrong size. Smile and say thank you and don't tell him that you've returned any. Chances are he may never realise.

Re. the washing - this is why I don't let DH do any laundry (except his own very occasionally) - it's not worth the fall-out. He puts everything in together regardless and washes it all on the same wash - which is fine if it's just his stuff but not when it's mine or DS's (which frequently needs pre-soaking). But I need his laundry to help me make up economically sized loads, so I'd rather it was all left up to me.

I will train DS how to do it properly though, he's only 4 at the mo so in a couple of years we'll start. :)

Keep all the jumpers. Tell dh to do the next week's food shopping with the vastly reduced budget. Tell him thank you for the the jumpers. Now, you obviously realise that we have half as much to spend on food this week. Here is the list. Good luck.

Can't believe the number of posters saying "he's trying to help". When you do your husband's washing, are you "only trying to help" him too?

Stop treating your husbands like little boys fgs.

I'm fairly staggered by the number of women out there who can't trust their partners to follow the fairly basic principles of laundry and who separate their own washing from the family wash. I just thought my dh had a particular personality anomoly that made him fabric-blind. Not that this is going on in a miriad of households across the land because men are too fucking lazy careless to remember that you don't boil wash the silky frillies.

What is it with men, that they perpetuate this pattern of learned helplessness so often and so much that they routinely get let off their share of household tasks?

What is it with women that we sigh and say oh well I'll do my own washing from now on?

OK, so I'm on a rant.

There are washing/drying labels on clothes for a reason.

My DP knows fuck all about laundry and he sure as hell wouldn't trouble himself to educate himself in this area. He genuinely has more important things to do, like doing a pdip that will double our household income... he is neither lazy or helpless, he is very good at what he does so if he doesn't know the difference between acrylic and cashmere, I can forgive him.

If you're going to purchase clothing that is delicate and expensive, clean it youself. Don't delegate to someone you know lacks the knowledge to do the job properly. Is that not just common-sense?

From bitter experience, Dh will always double check and if in doubt he will not wash stuff. (Like a pair of socks as they look pricey and woolen?!!)

To be fair, I have done it to one of his jumpers once. I felt awful as he's so careful after all the previous disasters. i have also ruined a silk tie. Have no idea how it got there, but i blamed the dc.

I bought him a new one. One ruined = one replaced if we can afford it.

Both my dh and my ds (aged 12) can wash and dry clothes without ruining them. In fact they can do all the day to day stuff required for looking after yourself, including ironing.

1 - tell DH he's welcome to do the washing but there's no need to put anything other than towels/cloths on a hot wash. Everything else can go in at 30, and nothing in the dryer that he's not 100% sure of. No need to tell him you'll do your own washing.

2 - Take all of the jumpers back. Return 3 for a refund, exchange 1 for the correct size.

These threads do make me laugh. >sarky<

If a woman posted the following:

I tried to use the DHs car this morning and it was out of gas so I filled it up with diesel but its a petrol car and my DH is furious and shouted at me because it will cost xx hundreds again to clean the engine. Its not the first time I;ve done it.

You lot would be right up there with the 'poor you's' and closely followed by the leave him, cut his cock off, ridiculous questions about whether this was the first time he'd ever raised his voice, was he always so controlling.

People make mistakes.

Oh FWIW you can bet your bottom dollar that if this wasnt a moan about buggered up laundry it would be one about a lazy fucker who didnt even do anything round the house now he's out of work. Necessitating yet another round of cock cutting and divorce suggestions from the usual suspects who clearly have brow beaten their male counterparts into fecking drippy wet lettuces OR couldnt manage to hold down a relationship with man nor beast if they tried due to a thorough lack of interpersonal skills.

And you wonder why this forum is so ridiculed?

steps back off soap box

I never thought to be grateful that my DH does what i do and check, funnily enough i'm pretty sure the care of clothes is not gender specific.

It's sweet he tried to make up for it now though, i go along with the others saying put a couple back and keep one or two after exchanging them for the right size.

Though if he's gone for jumpers that are far too big leave the fucker. ;)

troisgarcons - Rubbish i'm so sick of people telling other people what they would have said if it were the other way round, yes there are some people like that but by no means them all, OTOH there are plenty of people who think they know everything are psychic who are just as irritating. :)

My DH also has a total inability to know what shouldn't go into a hot wash (he has a PhD, FFS!). Now I have a separate laundry basket for delicates - he is home during the week and so does the "regular" laundry, and I take care of any delicate items myself.

Abat Quite possibly the best one I ever read was (precis) woman comes home from 14 hour shift work at 9pm annoyed there is no meal cooked for her. Pages and pages of selfish bastard comments (at home with two pre-schoolers) culminating in the memorable qquote"anyone who works those houers should have a bath run for them and candles on the side"

Can you imagin if the genders were reversed and it was suggested the male expected a meal and bath readily run for him?

The

AND! drags back out soap box gender stereotyping - don't get me started on idiots and barbie pink and the damage it will do blah blah blah because this thread is full of men are stupid, men need to be trained, perpetual sterotyping again whihc everyone pretends to be aghast at.