To wonder why she's never offered me at least a cup of tea?

[soandsosmummy]

Our neighbour is in and out of our house on quite a regular basis looking for a chat, help with cat feeding, to offer DD some of her surplus craft stuff - all sorts of reasons. I think she's lonely, and I don't mind as she's very pleasant and I like her. We always offer her a cup of tea/coffee, glass of wine, snack etc. depending on time of day and she always accepts.

We occassionally need to pop in on her for minor things and never once has she offered us even a glass of water. Today I popped round with a parcel that had been left with me as she was out. She invited me in, asked me to sit at kitchen table for a chat, made herself a cup of tea and didn't even ask if I'd like one.

AIBU to think this is odd

A bit odd, but why didn't you ask for a cuppa yourself? A simple 'could I have a cup of tea too, please?' She's probably just short on social graces!

Maybe she only had one teabag :o

Very odd!!

That is odd

I have no answer for you, I can't imagine not offering.

If I only had one tea bag ,I'd wait till you left!

Odd.

If she's lonely, she might be so used to only ever making herself a cup of tea that it might not occur to her to offer you one, as it's long since she had to do so. Or she might not drink hot drinks very often. I don't drink tea or coffee and so very rarely offer anyone a hot drink purely because it's just not on my radar. I always remember about 5 mins after they leave, aaaargh! If she's nice in every other way, just chalk it up to her loneliness or a quirk. Or ask for a drink!

Odd. But at least if she does things like offering craft stuff, its not a totally one-sided relationship.

Maybe she makes crap tea.

If she never invited you in I would say she was embarrassed that her house was untidy, but to invite you in and have a cup of tea in front of you is just weird!

That is very strange - to make herself a cuppa and not offer one is so obviously rude as to be odd. Wonder away.

Very very strange.

But people often are

Is she married? I often think that living along makes people pseudo-autistic.

Or else she's just rude.

I reckon just rubbish social skills

That is werid

it is very strange. Everyone knows you don't make yourself a drink and offer nothing to a guest

She's kind to DD though - she's shown her how to French knit and helped her start a patchwork. I'm very grateful as crafty things and I do not mix and dd seems to love that side of things.

She herself has no children, no partner etc so seems to welcome chance to do things with DD.

I don't MIND about the tea I just find it odd but I guess her kindness in other ways is more important

I don't drink hot drinks so only own one mug but would offer you juice or wine or some alternative.... I'd just say, "oooh yes, I'd love a tea as well" if she made herself one but then Im not very subtle

I'll get flamed here but being from the west of Scotland, i found folk in the south of England a bit lacking in this dept. If you go to someones house in the Glasgow area they used to always put on a bit of a spread even if you just popped in. Biscuits, cake and sandwiches (from the specially kept just in case of visitors tin of pink salmon) would magically appear. Moved to the south and you'd be lucky to be offered some tea and if lucky a digestive.

Living alone makes people psuedo-autistic more like you are talking pseudo-bollocks thepeoplesprincess!

Maybe she is just nervous and a bit socially awkward. It doesn't sound like this is a one-sided relationship. I don't always offer drinks as I assume people are busy - some people do exude that "oh, god I'm so busy, I have such a full life" air. Not saying you are one of those OP. Just ring, text, pop round and say you could do with a cuppa and a chat - of course, she may serve you Costco tea with condensed milk (happened to me once )

I often forget to offer people a cup of tea, just because I'm not making one if you see what I mean - but I'd never ever make myself one and not offer one

Bollocks sozzled. No shortage of tea offers here in Surrey.

If she was having tea then yes she should have offered you a drink.

I don't like the recent expectation that if you go round for tea you have to bring biscuits/cake/homemade XYZ (and I certainly wouldn't expect it myself). More relaxed and informal to just have a cup of tea with friends without the faff.

Gwen , maybe a cup of tea, but where are the cake and salmon sarnies???

Maybe she is aware that she makes really terrible tea?

and seems the others are backing that up that they might even forget to offer tea! get the to Glasgow to see how it's done. Or get some Polish, Irish or Asian friends - as they seem to be on the same wavelength.

I dont like the expectation of biscuits to either be taken or offered either.

They are so fattening, and many people try not to eat too many biscuits, some people can't eat them, and they are not good for anyone, even those who eat them regularly.

It is a strange concept to offer people un healthiness out of politeness, because what it actually does is make it harder for people to avoid them.

This neighbour does sound odd though.

Could she be under the impression that you don't like tea?