To think I am a bloody doctor, I shouldn't be working for a pittance after childcare?

[knackeredmother]

I am having a pissed off day so am probably BU.
I work 24 hours (plus much more unpaid overtime) a week as a GP registrar, this includes nights, weekends and long days until 10pm.
My take home pay is £1200 (after 5 years qualification).
I have 2 dc under 5 and employ a nanny as my son has lots of hospital admissions with an ongoing chest problem and my shifts mean nursery/childminder would be impossible. I also have no family to help out before I get flamed for having a nanny. There really is no other option for us that I can work out and nursery for 2 would not be much less money.
I pay our nanny about £800 a month gross for 17 hours per week (£10 p.h going rate). That leaves me £400 income to pay all of my outgoings.
My nanny has no childcare to pay for as she uses the 15 hours free government funding and has family help. Its not her fault but she has almost double the disposable income I have for working less and more sociable hours.
I'm using up annual leave today as poor ds is too sick to leave even with our nanny.
It's just made me think what is the point of going to work? I could stay at home, have no sick child stress and although I would be £400 a month down I wouldn't need to run a car, fork out bloody thousands pounds for professional exams and membership fees
I'm being unreasonable aren't I - somebody tell me it will all be worth it in the end!

If you live in south London I could use a good plumber
Seriously though....I agree with the some of the others. Times are tough now but your earnings will increase later on.
It is also stressful working and having small children.
My son is 20m and has also been in and out of hospital (breathing difficulties,now believed to be asthma).
My salary is £2000 a month after tax but it will NEVER increase (apart from with inflation). I find that a but depressing.

Knackered of course you want to be with your DS.

I think you're doing your best in a difficult situation and although it feels pointless at the moment it will get better.

No consolation but I reckon the fact you're going through tough times just now will make you a better GP. More understanding and sympathetic.

Hope you feel more positive tomorrow.

Everyone has rough times. As I said. Ride it out, it sounds like it will be worth it in the long run.

Remember with childcare (as with most things) you often get what you pay for. DS2's childcare is costing me almost $100 per day it is very expensive but I am also extremely pleased with the care he is receiving in return for that (great staff/kid ratio, excellent food, beautiful facilities/grounds). And being able to go off to work without having to worry about him for a moment is priceless. So if your nanny is doing a good job don't underestimate how much that is actually worth as well as how much it costs.

DS1 is of course a lot less expensive now that he only needs before/after school care, it works out at $25 a day. Eventually DS1 will be at high school (so no childcare needed) and DS2 will be $25 a day and we will be quids in.

Hold on for now.

I hope your DS's health improves.

Most seem to be saying "ride it out" for the professional ladder. I sympathise, but its your own call as to whats important to you. What was important to me was different.

Ah, I remember those early days of bone-weary tiredness and no money. If you have not been there, you will never understand the way you live on minimum sleep and maximum stress, and nothing ever seems to get done, and you can't ever give yourself 100% to either, because there are just not enough hours in the day- the kids, the housework, relationship, job,night shifts, studies/ exams, all on 4 hrs sleep.
I had to go the work full time/ DH at home route, no other option realistically- I survived that, as well. Also no family to help out, so I know how it feels.
Oh, those expensive exams- it is possible to put some of them off a few years (when you earn more), not ideal, but helps the financial situation. Choose your battles- and MRCGP may not be your first priority right now

It does get better. Never rich, but get along. Job stress stays the same, but you learn to deal better- experience helps. A lot. Most importantly, the kids grow up.
As the kids grow up, it all gets so much easier- they are ill less, they sleep, they are out more, they entertain themselves, you can study quite well in the car waiting for end of ballet/ football/ whatever . They are less upset if you're not there, less dependent.
DD2(15) has just informed me she wants to be a doctor- I was a bit and a bit - it can't have been too bad for them, then, no matter how much I worried about not being there enough!
Hang in there! PM me if you want

OP- YANBU.

Not a huge amount to add aside from what others have said in that it will improve as you progress on the VTS and your childcare costs decrease.

I'm an FY2- recently married and trying to conceive again after a mmc. It's giving me food for thought as I could be in your position in a year or two..

I hope things improve for you- esp with your son. X

Agree with what many others have said. It is tough, especially when other people have such unrealistic ideas of what you earn and what you're having to pay out in childcare.

My two went to a l

Agree with what many others have said. It is tough, especially when other people have such unrealistic ideas of what you earn and what you're having to pay out in childcare.

My two went to a lovely day nursery, and it used to drive me mad when people made comments about how I 'must' earn a fortune to be able to send them there. Er- no, it took up my entire income for a couple of years, and even when dc1 started school i spent most of my income on childcare. And of course, not only are you not making much financial gain right now, but you've also got the enormous pressure and responsibility of a professional job. It's very very hard- combining that with looking after children and running a home- often after a broken nights sleep too. IMO other people don't have a clue unless they've been there.

You just need to keep focused on the long term. Your earnings will increase, you are keeping yourself employable and your son is likely to do well with a working parent, especially one in a professional job. But I do feel your pain. Especially when ignorant people think 'oh god she's got a good job , it's alright for her'

Do GPs work weekends and nights. I worked nights for out of hours service and never saw any

not sure where you worked, but I do up to 6 evenings a month on top of full job- 3 Sundays and some weekdays, does that count?
Honestly, who do you think mans your walk in centres and GP OOH?
If there were no GPs at your OOH service, they could not have functioned, by definition they need a Dr!

I sympathise OP. I am in a similar situation to you.

I am in a senior nursing role now, having worked for almost 20 years. I don't do nights or weekends anymore but undertake lots of unpaid hours just to get the work done. My commute is over an hour and by the time I have paid for that and nursery fee's I am down by £85 a day already!

However, I am in the workplace, keeping my career going and also taking the weight off DH in terms of being the sole earner in a very difficult climate in his sector.

If it helps, DH and I often work out what our finances will look like in a couple of years time when we are not so reliant on childcare etc. It does make it seem worth it in the end.

Also remember that you are going to specialise in a sector that will give you flexibility for family life, that is worth a lot.

I do hope your DS improves soon too.

It sounds to me that your DH needs to either work more to pay his share of childcare and bills or stay at home more. I was reading it that you had £400 to pay for rent/mortgage/bills which would clearly be impossible, but if you are managing to cover all the childcare + your share of bills working 24 hours a week that sounds pretty reasonable to me. As other posters have said, presumably your wages will increase significantly in the future.

I think you should reconsider claiming tax credits you said you don't because of DH's variable income. When we were on tax credits we often had to change our wage reporting every 2-3 weeks but it wasn't actually that problematic we just called up HMRC, told them the new income, they said ok thanks and sent us a new award letter.

It may sound like an awful faff but if you are entitled to it, I think you should claim it. It sounds like it would really help.

I hope your little boy gets better soon.

If GP's start claiming tax credits there ought to be rioting in the streets.
Benefits are not for bloody GP's. Really.

coccyx-of course GP's work OOH !
where did you work?

I second the opinion that you should not give up or take a break from your career.
I did that and really regret it.

Why not, if she's entitled?
This thread highlights the fact that some people have no bloody idea what the reality is for people who have spent years getting qualified and trained.
I wish tax credits had existed when I was in my early 30s, a graduate with 8 years professional experience and young children. It might have meant I had a few quid left over after doing a hard weeks work and paying my nursery bill.

Having said that, I do think the whole tax credits set up is daft in that the govt is taxing people and then paying them back. The only real solution is to make work pay. Minimum wage jobs should be significantly better paid than benefits. The more skilled, demanding or difficult a job is, the better the pay should be to reflect that. Simple logic really.

But while tax credits exist why shouldn't the

Why shouldn't she claim?

2 reasons i would never claim whilst i have 2 working arms and legs, firstly i brought my children into the world they are my resoponsibilty and it's not as though the emergency pot is over flowing with funds at the moment. My claiming might mean less available for somebody in genuine needs. Secondly i am very aware as to how much tax payers will be giving to me in terms of earnt salary i really wouldn't have the cheek to get out the begging bowl too.

Contradiction there - the tax payers arent 'giving you' a salary. If you work for the public sector you are paid for the work you are doing out of public funds. It's hardly a hand out!

No it's not a hand out but equally it's enough for my family to be comfortable and over the career of a GP the OP will also have enough for her family to be comfortable. Everyone has to tough it out at some stage, £400 after the main bills are covered it not desperate enough to justify HMRC poking around in your affairs IMO

Heswall - how much do you earn?

Are you aware that a full-time nursery place for one child costs, on average, £180 per week? It's much higher in London, of course. How on earth are the vast majority of people in this county supposed to afford that without help?

And don't say well we used to years ago, but just 20 years ago, when there wasn't financial help, childcare was much more affordable and there was more support from family and friends (because people didn't move so much to follow jobs). Childcare has increased year on year, way above inflation, for the last decade and looks set to continue.

75% of people in the UK rely on tax credits. Most people simply do not have the income to pay for nursery fees unless they use tax credits or can circumvent the entire lot by using family and/or friends (which 4 out of 5 working mothers do).

If only the top 25% of earners have children, where would the economy be in a generation's time do you think?

How daft. It's tax credits. In the old days she would simply have paid less tax, now they have this crazy system where you pay tax and then claim it back.

If you don't want to claim, don't, but I don't see why anyone should pay more tax than they legally have to. Sure as hell the top 10% aren't!

I cannot see how she would be entitled anyway. I pay £400 a week in childcare so i get it i really do at times it's cost me money to to work but it'll balance out in the end and they are my children.

I disagree that childcare was more affordable 20 years ago. Ime there was far less available- only one day nursery in my district, thankfully a super one, but not the range there is now- and it cost just as much, proportionately as now. Also- housing was WAY more expensive. 12% interest rates anyone??! I'm not saying childcare isn't expensive now btw- just that I don't think Proper regulated care has ever been any different