To think I should not be let out in public on my own?

[RevoltingPeasant]

This isn't even funny, just cringy.

Last week I was waiting by a taxi rank and there was a man next to me, standing quite close. The cab driver finished his fag and came up and said, 'Where are you two going?'

Man: Oh, we're not together.

Me, in failed attempt at humour complete with freakish dramatic eyebrow wiggle in Man's direction: I should be so lucky!

Man:

I think he thought I was trying to pick him. I so wasn't. I have no idea why I thought that would be funny. I am not Benny Hill IRL, honest.

WTF were you doing with a trunk? I mean, who has trunks these days? I thought they went out with Wallis Simpson.

thank you for brightening my day with this

You certainly should go out alone, hopefully you'll have some more funnies for us
Thank you x

Not sure that's really the point tinker

Yes, it was really the trunk that was embarrassing about that situation. Other than that, this is how I normally behave.

Isn't a trunk just a large suitcase? And wtf cares anyway?

I once tried to bundle a friend into a chest freezer in Tescos (a la psycho serial killer movie - "no good screaming, no-one will hear...") only to discover he was an utter stranger.
Do you think it was your taxi bloke?

There you go OP, timetosmile's is far far worse! Did that cheer you up?

Actually giggling silently here

time that is actually hilarious. Let's hope it was.

A socially dysfunctional friend once helped a drunken neighbour navigate his way into the front door of their apartment building, shortly after friend had just moved in, and then asked him 'jokingly' if he wanted to come into his basement, he had another man there he kept in a gimp mask. He thought Drunken Neighbour wouldn't remember in the morning.

Unfortunately, he did. He also turned out to be the landlord.

Hearts, Wodehouse was a genius.

Do you think MN has room for a thread about spats?

But on THIS actual subject, have you ever done that thing where someone you know a little bit gives you a huge wave and an enthusiastic "Hello, how are you? So nice to see you!" And you are quite happy to be greeted so nicely, so you respond with an equally enthusiastic "Lovely to see you too!! Good morning!!"

... only to realise they were shouting over you talking to their proper friend, standing right behind you.....

Ra-ther!

Tink, let's start one. Always room for spats. After the eggs and b., of course.

Oh, and a trunk is not just a large suitcase, it's a trunk FGS, the sort of thing murderers used to hide adult bodies in without having to cut them up.

Oooh, another one!

Yes, the cabbie did ask about the blood on the floor of the taxi.

Bertie Wooster had a trunk. Several in fact. I betcha young Bingo Little did too.

Sorry for hijacking, will be quiet now.

am now trying vainly to make link between my murderous supermarket escapade (I ran off into the cereal aisle at speed) and what might have been hidden in OPs trunk....

I suppose at least I didn't have cats in my bedroom

time - DH has just pointed out that you obviously meant to say you ran off into the serial killer aisle...

The main door to my university building is a revolving door. I've had to start going the long way round because I cannot use the revolving door. I always whack myself on the arse with it, trip up going round it, mis-time my entry/exit, or go too far forwards and end up pressed on the glass panel.

And yesterday I hit myself on the head with my (wet) umbrella.

The chest freezer is genius.

yep, you're right. Things were getting Frostie, and I thought it was time for me to say Cheerio.

timetosmile, that is one of the funniest things i've ever read on here,.

what was the strangers reaction? or did you not stick around to find out?

I was in the loos in Morrisons with DD2 the other day. I thought she was in the cubicle next to me, so when I came out of mine I did a 'funny foot dance' under her door. For ages. Yes, I am that hilarious.

A little voice next to me 'what are you doing mum?'. She'd been in the one on the other side.
A poor stranger having a wee was sitting there all at my toilet door river dance.

I ran.

In my defence, I was still a student.

I think he was so shocked by the fact some utter stranger had hoisted him up by the buttocks -yes -and tried to flip him into the frozen veg, that by the time he had regained some composure I was far enough away for him to not be able to do anything which would not embarrass him further.

I suspect he thought the better of accosting random females half his age and asking them, "Was it YOU that tried to shove me in the freezer, eh? EH?"