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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I should not be let out in public on my own?

64 replies

RevoltingPeasant · 25/01/2012 21:46

This isn't even funny, just cringy.

Last week I was waiting by a taxi rank and there was a man next to me, standing quite close. The cab driver finished his fag and came up and said, 'Where are you two going?'

Man: Oh, we're not together.

Me, in failed attempt at humour complete with freakish dramatic eyebrow wiggle in Man's direction: I should be so lucky!

Man: Confused

I think he thought I was trying to pick him. Blush Blush Blush I so wasn't. I have no idea why I thought that would be funny. I am not Benny Hill IRL, honest.

OP posts:
Whatmeworry · 25/01/2012 22:57

I have no idea why I thought that would be funny. I am not Benny Hill IRL, honest.

I think its funny, he just has no sense of humour :)

thisisyesterday · 25/01/2012 22:59

ohhh i'm still laughing at it.

imagine just shopping and someone trying to throw you in a freezer. just too funny

Robinredboobs · 25/01/2012 23:00

Miss Mogwi that is too funnny!

ChaoticAngel · 26/01/2012 00:32
Grin
QuintessentiallyShallow · 26/01/2012 00:36

Oh, I see. Gender reversal. You were behaving like a man.

yus yus, really funny. Grin

Should do it more often.

Next time, try a good bottom squeeze with a "allright love?"

DeepPurple · 26/01/2012 00:39
Grin
TuftyFinch · 26/01/2012 00:46

I poured coffee on my head today.
On a busy train.
I had my coffee in my hand and put my hat on.
I carried on my way with coffee dripping down my face.
I thought to myself: today is going to be a good day.

foglike · 26/01/2012 04:38

Revolting and time Grin

The pair of you made me laugh thanks :)

maddening · 26/01/2012 06:11

2 of most cringy moments:
Once spent a whole drunken night introducing friends to my brother who I had bumped in to at a party - he wasn't my brother - Wondered why he looked so concerned!

Once at uni had a job at a callcentre - man was taking down information and aid " excuse me I am kneeling down to write this" and before I could think I said "oooh it's not often you have a man on his knees at half 5 in the afternoon" thankfully he laughed and I just prayed no one was listening!

Original poster
RevoltingPeasant · 26/01/2012 08:42

Grin at Tufty pouring coffee on her head. That is totally the kind of thing I do on a weekly basis.

OP posts:
GoingForGoalWeight · 26/01/2012 08:56

Revolting and MissMogwi

Hilarious! :)

The footdance is brilliant :)

The taxibloke was an arse who'd had a SOH bypass.

blondie80 · 26/01/2012 09:26

MissMogwi - footdance, brilliant! lol!!!

thisisyesterday · 26/01/2012 09:31

ahhh tufty, you've brightened my morning!

Red2011 · 26/01/2012 10:34

Sniggering at all the 'blips' here! I tend to do stupid things too. If I was the one with the trunk I'd have probably said to the taxi driver something along the lines of 'I have an inflatable one in there' or 'don't drop it, it's got a body in'. I can't help myself.

So far this week I haven't done or said anything particularly stupid, but there is still time....

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 26/01/2012 10:48

Waiting in the queue for passport control at the airport, on the way to Germany for the school exchange trip, my friend and I were making silly comments about the teacher leading the trip. I can't remember what we were saying (it is over 32 years a few years ago), but whatever it was, it prompted the airport official who overheard us to pull the teacher aside for a detailed inspection (maybe even a strip search). He was not best pleased with my friend or me. GrinBlush

ReebleBauble · 26/01/2012 12:26

I took my 20 year old Dsis to New York for a week for her first holiday. She was terrified of flying so the docs prescribed her diazipam and somethingelseIforgetwhat. Flight was non eventful, but when we went through passport control my sis was flirting outrageously with the poor guy taking out fingerprints. He said "wow, youre sure in a good mood after an 8 hour flight!" to which she replied "its only because I'm hopped up on some awesome drugs!". He was so shocked he scanned the wrong fingerprints onto the passports.

Buttons were pressed, armed guards came out and escorted a petrified Dsis off for a 'chat' and she had to sit with suspected terrorists and drug mules for 3 HOURS whilst they sorted things out...

I've never taken her anywhere else...

Sluttybuttons · 26/01/2012 12:36

I have a couple embarrassing stories.

I was about 11 or 12 and was in asda with my brother. He was being a pain in the ass so i turned and whacked him very hard, only to realise this tall guy was standing in front of him and i had just hit him right in the balls. I was very embarrassed but my bro was wetting himself at me.
Another supermarket one, was in morrisons with a friend and we were both doing our shopping separately to save time. I saw her going down the aisle and thought it would be funny to give her a fright (it was very quiet and i hadnt seen anybody else in that aisle) so the next person to come round the corner should have been her........ It wasnt, it was a wee old man who nearly shat himself when i jumped out and shouted "RRAAAAAAWWWWWRRRR" I cant even use the excuse that i was young since i was 29 at the time and 5 months pregnant with the twins.

MissMogwi · 26/01/2012 12:41

Sluttybuttons- your scaring the old man story has just made me guffaw like a donkey on a packed train platform Grin hee haw Blush

BalloonTwister · 26/01/2012 12:51

haha! Sluttybuttons..my Dad got us thrown out of a holiday park for something similar in Italy when I was a child. We went camping and my DM needed a wee in the middle of the night and insisted he escort her there. He heard her go in, use the loo, come out, wash her hands etc, except when he jumped out at her it was an elderly Italian lady, and she wet herself in terror. I know it's awful really but my Mum still goes in to fits of giggles whenever it gets mentioned!

Sluttybuttons · 26/01/2012 13:00

I have to admit i do still laugh when i think about it. Poor wee man was standing at the checkout 2 along from me and my friend still looking worried lol

lesley33 · 26/01/2012 13:27

Friend and I stopped at a service station on the motorway to use the toilets - it was about 1am so hardly anyone about. When I came out she was standing outside the entrance to the toilet block giggling. When I got her to tell me what she was giggling about she told me that she was laughing because she had been throwing wet toilet paper over the cubicle door at me and trying to get it to land on my head - and I hadn't said a thing!

Only she hadn't. She had been throwing it at some poor random woman in a cubicle who came out the toilets and glared at both of us! We were about 30 at the time as well!

TheRealMrsHannigan · 26/01/2012 13:27

I was out in town with DH and DD, all day DD had been whining, showing off, acting a right little madam etc. We were walking home and I was a few steps ahead of DH and DD just to escape her whining and I heard her keep saying 'mum, mum, mummy...mum...mum' and told her to stop it (she will repeat it over and over incessantly when she's in that whingey horrid mood and doesnt actually want anything).
Anyway I carried on walking and she started up again, I was at the end of my tether and whirled around and screeched 'what do you want NOW?!' only to see a very startled little girl who was not mine and was actually rushing to catch up with her mum a few steps ahead of me Blush

MissMogwi · 26/01/2012 13:29

Grin at everyone. We are not alone in our disgrace!

BearPear · 26/01/2012 13:53

My DH told me a tale from his teenaged years which were often spent in the local pub. There was a large group of them and for some reason the guys started a little habit of biting each other's bums while they were stood at the bar. One particular evening a chap sunk his teeth into bit what he thought was my now BinL's buttocks only for it to be a complete stranger!

And, when I was a child we were out for a long country walk along a river when my mum heard the call of nature. We were miles from anywhere so she decided to nip down the side of the riverbank to wee, it was when she was mid-stream so to speak that she noticed a troop of Boy Scouts walking along the opposite bank!

timetosmile · 26/01/2012 13:55

To answer OPs question..maybe we shouldn't be allowed out alone. maybe we should go out together, as a pack.
A trip to Asda, anyone?
Tipping people into freezers, "raaaaarrrrghing" at pensioners, tap dancing in the lavatory, madly tipping coffee on each other's hats.
And then discretely spread out in the minicab queue to leer suggestively at the other punters...