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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect DTS's class teacher to be able to tell them apart?!

145 replies

MadDash · 25/01/2012 21:24

They are in year 5 and, yes they are very similar looking (wouldn't say identical), but have massively different personalities. Their class teacher, however, cannot tell them apart. She's been teaching them since september now and I would have expected her to have got to know them by now. Or AIBU?

OP posts:

madliz · 27/01/2012 23:52

O yes randommoment Now they are older they wouldn't be caught DEAD in the same thing but would have been nice to have the same but different when they were younger!

Bewilderedmum · 27/01/2012 23:59

I'd be hopeless in a class with twins - I can't even get my own childrens names right sometimes.. it's not uncommon for me to mix their names up with the hamsters (me and the hamster talk quite a lot) cue ds2 (8) sighing with resignation "I'm not Alex, I'm not hammy - I'm Sammy!!"

piprabbit · 27/01/2012 23:59

I used to know twins who had to dress identically because of uniform was strict, but they chose to wear different shoes. Twin X wore laces and twin Y wore buckles (it was the 1970s). It helped the teachers no end until the twins swapped shoes for a laugh.

MrsMc82 · 28/01/2012 00:00

Silly question but (and hopefully won't offend) but when they were babies how did you tell the difference...... Often wonder if I were to have twins and called twin 1 bill for instance and then twin 2 ben that I'd get them mixed up and then actually twin 2 would end up being call bill for a few day / weeks / forever and vice versa without me even realising..... Is that possible or a their mum do you have an inate ability to just know???

Cheers! :o

GravityDefier · 28/01/2012 00:07

MrsMc82, I JUST wondered the exact same thing.

madliz · 28/01/2012 00:09

MrsMc82 My smug DH could tell our girls apart immediately but I was so concerned that I couldn't we kept their hospital id tags on them til they grew too small (approx 8 weeks!)
Even now, after 10 years, they are moments when I look quickly and say the wrong name! I don't THINK I ever muddled them up for anything important :)

As very little babies, I demand fed them so just picked up whichever was crying and got on with it. There is defintitely every chance that one was fed more often than the other as she was more vocal compared to her sibling! :)

It still makes me chuckle that when they look at their baby photos they can't tell themselves apart!:)

IHeartKingThistle · 28/01/2012 00:09

I'd be annoyed, especially in a class of 15. On the other hand, I am struggling a bit with 14 year old twins who have just been put into my class. I am finding little ways to tell them apart; I'm almost there and I've only seen them 3 times a week for 3 weeks! So all day since September should be doable, you'd think? It's so important because kids hate it when teachers get their name wrong - it's really important to them.

startail · 28/01/2012 00:17

My games mistress used to call me "other girl with brown hair and glasses" at frequent intervals. I wouldn't have minded, but she was a good head taller than me,

I have a friend who looks very, very like her slightly elder sister. She spent most of the first year at high school being called DSIS's name, drove her mad.

BackforGood · 28/01/2012 00:22

When dd2 went into her next class teacher's room for 'moving up day' in July, the teacher called her by her elder brother's name . It's easily done - you just know the child is from that family and associate them with that name.
As others had said, you sometimes just get a block with a name for some reason - I remember one class I had with a Callum and a Daniel in it, they weren't related, weren't particularly similar in looks, personality, or ability, but I always got mixed up, and had to stop and really ponder for a bit or just say the wrong name. No idea why - I was just convinced they were the other way round . When I've taught identical twins, or even known them for 7/8 years of Primary (or Primary + Nursery), as otheres have said, when glancing at a group of children , or when one is running across the playground, you don't have the time to sit and study them and make a considered opinion which one it is. the helpful parents do something to make it really obvious - different haircuts if there really is not wriggle room on the uniform.

startail · 28/01/2012 00:24

at sorting baby photos.
DF with three DDs admitted that she could only sort out who was who in school photos because they were group shots.
At various times and ages each had looked like the other.

This is all very of to me because I look nothing like my DSIS. in fact everyone thought shewas my BF sister because they are far more alike in build and colouring.

accidentprawn · 28/01/2012 07:48

yanbu. i am a dt. At school i usually had my hair back in a bun and my t had hers in a ponytail. I went in with it loose and my science teacher screamed! he could only tell us apart because of the way we did our hair! we are fraternal- we look nothing like each other!

FaithHopeAndKevin · 28/01/2012 08:08

DS2's teacher taught DD last year. She's admitted more than once to calling him DD, especially at the end of the day when she's calling them out to leave- she sees me and yells DD.

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 28/01/2012 08:22

OP - why don't you give them a name badge for a while and suggest that the teacher works just with one boy for a week, then the following week the other? Would really help her to get to know them and their ability.

t0lk13n · 28/01/2012 08:42

There are some pictures of my twin and I and if mum hadnt written our names on the back we wouldnt know which one we are in the picture!

exoticfruits · 28/01/2012 09:42

I think that as a teacher you never get enough time just to look at them. When I was a DC I could tell the ones in my class apart and always knew which I was talking to, but that was because in the class I could just observe them when the teacher was reading a book or similar. As a teacher you are always busy-you simply don't have the time to sit and stare.

imaginethat · 28/01/2012 09:50

I asked my dd if the teacher knew her name and she said, "I'm not sure, she calls me That Girl Over There." And she is not a twin.

Spinkle · 28/01/2012 10:02

Oh dear. I had a set of twins in my class. Only by June did I figure out which was which, not through want of trying, let me tell you. They were nice guys and I really enjoyed teaching them.

I guess I was just too busy teaching to really notice.

CardyMow · 28/01/2012 12:58

DD's best friends are a set of ID twin girls. Who I have known since they were 6yo. They are now 13yo, so I've known them for 7 years. I know that Twin 1 is louder, more giggly, in top set at school, likes to take charge etc. I know that Twin 2 is quieter, very ditzy, in bottom set at school, likes to follow rather than lead. When I see both together, I know who is twin one and twin 2. But if just ONE of them pops round to see DD - I will only get the right name 50% of the time. I ask DD how she tells the difference, and she says that their hair is a different shade of blonde. I can't SEE any difference in the hair. It's only once they start TALKING that I can tell who is who.

t0lk13n · 28/01/2012 13:18

This months National Geographical has an article on Twins....I looked at the pictures whilst waiting for my friend in Tescos this morning and could hardly tell the difference!

Rosa · 28/01/2012 13:24

My Dd has been in close contact with twins since she was 2.5 she is now 6. 1 of them has been in her class for 2 years and sits next to her. She cannot tell them apart when they are together and regularly calls them by the wrong names.
When I see both twins together I can just tell them apart when there is one I have great difficulty . Its not through want of trying but they are so similar its frustrating

GreenPetal94 · 28/01/2012 15:26

My friend with twins received school reports which clearly muddled them up when they started school. So she realised they needn't to look different and as a hairdresser herself gave them very different haircuts. This also made their social situations easier as none of the children had been able to tell them apart before that.

nickelhasababy · 28/01/2012 15:43

I think you should give them badges.
How strict are the uniform guidelines on socks?
maybe different coloured socks?
or different show fastenings as has been suggested.

TBH the haircut idea isn't too good, because once it's growing out, the difference gets muggy.

Badges is the easiest way, because then it's not a case of "Ben wears blue sock, Fred wears white" - it's "Fred's badge says Fred and Ben's says Ben"
sorted.

nickelhasababy · 28/01/2012 15:44

or have the initials sewn onto the shirt.
under the school logo maybe.

Lueji · 28/01/2012 15:49

Just make sure they look different, then.

Different hair cut would probably be enough.
One to wear always shades of blue and the other green, for example.
Or put them in separate classes.

Otherwise, yabu.

ImperialBlether · 28/01/2012 16:07

In one of my classes I have two boys whose brothers were in my class a couple of years ago. Each of the two younger boys sits in the same seat that their brothers sat in (without my prompting.)

I have two brothers in two classes now - each again sits in the same place, though I know they haven't seen each other in the classroom.

And yes, in each case, each student gets called by his brother's name.

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