to expect DTS's class teacher to be able to tell them apart?!

[MadDash]

They are in year 5 and, yes they are very similar looking (wouldn't say identical), but have massively different personalities. Their class teacher, however, cannot tell them apart. She's been teaching them since september now and I would have expected her to have got to know them by now. Or AIBU?

When I was at uni with my best friend for a year, our tutors got our names mixed up every single day. We look NOTHING alike!

I don't see how the personality is helpful in telling them apart. I can very often tell them apart if they are together, but not if I only see one.

YABU, I think.

In the school where I work there is a set of identical twin boys who are VERY alike. I still find it impossible to know (for certain) who is which, and I taught them for a year when they were younger!

When they are together, I can usually tell (not with 100% accuracy), but when I see them separately, I'm just guessing, really. I'm sure it's annoying for them but by now (Y6) they laugh it off, and everyone struggles to tell them apart, it's not just me!

You may feel they are very different, in personality or otherwise, but they are your children and you are very involved with them. For their teacher, they are just two children in a class of maybe 30, and while I'm sure she cares, it's not the same (and nor should it be!)

My advice - give them very different haircuts, or always dress them differently (but consistently), or give up worrying....

I have 3 sets of identical twins in my class. 9 times out of 10 I will get the right names, because they have different mannerisms, wear their hear slightly differently etc. Can the teacher really not tell them apart or is it just an occasional slip up. I call children in my class by their older siblings names sometimes they don't seem to mind and find it quite funny.

Do the dress the same for school?

Gosh!! sometimes I call my DC by the dog's name

My mum still gets me and my (not twin) sister confused, we don't even look a like. I very often call my husband by my sons name. On the list of things to get your knickers in a twist about it doesn't rank very high.
YABU.

I don't think you're being unreasonable, having watched CBB for the last couple of weeks I can see differences in the twins that means I can now tell them apart and that's only been on a couple of weeks. I would expect that a teacher who spends a great deal of time with your children should be getting a bit better at telling them apart by now, although it is difficult so maybe as a previous poster said you could get them to wear something different to help out.

Do as much as you can to give them their own identity because (and I speak from experience) they are going to have a lifetime of being known as 'one of the twins'.

My id girls are 3. We struggle, grandparents struggle, and nursery struggle.

So I fully expect school to struggle too.

My DDs are 3.5 yrs different in age , look totally different and are still aklways called each others names

There are 15 in the class. I think in some ways it would bother me less if it was a class of 30.

I've had identical twin boys in my class and could only tell them apart (in looks) when they were sitting next to each other. From behind it was impossible to tell, so a different haircut would help there. They did have vastly different personalities though and it was obvious. One was quiet and gentle, the other loud and boisterous. Both lovely boys.

I still mix up names sometimes though. I have a boy in my class now that I keep calling by his brother's name. It annoys me, so it must annoy him too. I do apologise and tell him to feel free to correct me. Once you get the 'wrong' name in your head, it just seems to stick, dammit!

Every time the dog does something naughty, my mum shouts "DSis4 ! Sorry, I mean DogsName!"

DSis4 is 22 and we have had the dog for 9 years. Like tink said, it's no biggie, only a few years of CBT for the dog.

I agree that personalities are very different at home and at school, so that wouldn't be a very useful indicator. My DD is good friends with a ID twin, but not with her sister, but even when I asked how she knew which one was Friend and which one was Othertwin she told me that F always had pink ribbons in her hair and O always had purple. :) Much easier for everyone if there is some kind of "marker".

I have identical twin boys in my class. If they are sitting or standing next to each other I can tell them apart but put just one child in between them and I've lost it!

I can see photographs of my children as babies and don't know which one it is!

even so

They are not twins.

Oh my dd is used to being called by her sisters name... And there is another girl in her class, who had a sister in dd1's class, but who also has a very similar name to my dd1 (are you following?) so dd2 also gets called by this name, as the two younger girls get confused with each other as well as their older sisters! It happens.

My Dad was a primary teacher for years. He frequently got the names of kids in his class wrong - he knew who he meant but names always escaped him. When challenged on it his stock response was to say "I don't get my own daughters' names right and I've been living with them for years - what chance do you think you've got?" And he was right. Dad complained that there were just too many women in the house,and as even the dog was female, the chance of him hitting the right name first time was slim! He just used to work through the list until the right name surfaced at which point he'd say triumphantly 'See, I got there and anyway I knew who I meant.' Standing joke both at home and at school.
Telling the wrong child off is a bit more of an issue than simple name muddling but is there a way you can help the teacher?

I also have year 5 monozygotic twin boys (I deliberately don't use the word identical as they look different to me and most people who know them well).

One of mine always wears a white polo shirt and the other a red one- makes it much easier for people in the school who don't know them well and for people who are trying to identify them across the playground/field. I never wnated to have a 'colour code' and was reluctant at first as obviously I would prefer for people to be able to tell just by looking at them but I accept that this is sometimes difficult. FWIW both of the other sets of MZ twins in the school also wear different colour tops.

The DDs ballet teachers call each of them by each others names all the time. They don't look alike especially (although obviously sisters) and are each 5 years apart in age. The teachers start with Dd1s name, and work down in age till they get a response .

I had a maths teacher who called me by my mums name (as shed worked with her about 20 years previously). Now that was weird

I had a set of twins in my reception class a few years ago. Their mum was always mixing their names up, so was really helpful and dressed W in a white polo shirt and C in a green one for the first term and a bit until I'd really embedded in my mind the subtle differences between the two. That was really helpful as in a crowded classroom it saved me the pondering and staring intently at their eyebrows to work out which was which. When they stood still (very rarely!) next to each other I could tell which one was which, but when there was only one of them in front of me it really confused me.

I taught a class once that had TWO sets of identical twins in it! Very hard to not make mistakes. Make it easy for the teacher by not having them look totally identical each day.
For example, one has a ponytail the other has a plait. During the morning register the teacher can take note of this sort of detail and try their best to remember it for the rest of the day. Even something simple, but within uniform regulations, such as a different colour of hairband helps.

It's also harder to get the right name when they are not together, which is usually the situation when one is being told off for something. You haven't got the other child next to them to compare freckles or whatever.

My brothers are fraternal twins although have some similarities in appearance and they got all through secondary school with "it wasn't me it was my brother" and often got away with it. It's hard enough for teachers to remember all the names of all the children they teach even when they don't look alike. Obviously this is less the case in primary where they only have the one class, but it is a problem you'll have to get used to I'm afraid!