to expect DTS's class teacher to be able to tell them apart?!

[MadDash]

They are in year 5 and, yes they are very similar looking (wouldn't say identical), but have massively different personalities. Their class teacher, however, cannot tell them apart. She's been teaching them since september now and I would have expected her to have got to know them by now. Or AIBU?

I have twin sisters, when they were young they deliberately swapped identifying clothes to confuse everybody even our parents.Nothing to do with me of course!!

I think you are being a little U if you aren't helping eg different haircuts, or uniform or a badge or something.

My friend has twin boys one always had really short hair the other always longer so they'd look different.

I think YABU, sorry. I had twins in my class at secondary school for 5 years and by the end I still couldn't tell them apart. Some of the class could, but most couldn't, and almost none of the teachers.

You will see their minute differences because they are your children and you are very close to them. It will be much harder for the teacher.

I still can't tell our Godsons apart, and they're 6.

They have been put into separate classes in school to help them start forming separate identities. I assume your school is too small to do this?

If I were the op I'd be peed off too.... but MadDash I guess its one of the downsides to twins, YOU can tell them apart and I'm sure they are very different but YABU to expect it to be easy for everyone else.

There's two sets of twins in my eldest's class, I've known them and their parents for 4 years, not only do I still struggle to tell each of the twins apart, I also struggle to remember which set belongs to which parent. Its something that does make me feel ashamed a little, and the parents have always dressed each child differently.

But from MY PoV, even when differently dressed I get confused!

YANBU to find it irritating, YABU to be cross at the world.

I once asked the identical twin's mum how she tells them apart by 'sight alone' (they have very different personalities) and she exclaimed, as if it was obvious, that one had less curly hair than the other... to me, they both have beautiful curly hair!

I suppose its just one of those things you have to learn to laugh at, cope with and celebrate (sometimes) please don't think us confused people are being ignorant.

I'm very surprised they are in the same class at all

Most twins are not and even though a lot of parents protest, the schools won't bend on it.

An old and good friend has twins, I could hardly tell them apart when young. If you are not helping by distinguishing then YABU.

When I was teaching we had identical twin girls in different classes. One of them truanted at lunchtime and her sister tried to take the rap by going to her twin's classes for the afternoon. It was only discovered last lesson in my class: I taught them both in different classes and spotted it immediately.

I'm a twin, and people getting us muddled just goes with the territory. It's all very well you saying "they have such different personalities", but that's not going to help a teacher figure out which one's which from across a playground or busy classroom. The longer you spend with twins, the more obvious the differences get, which is why parents and friends (usually!) get it right. I'd second the different coloured polo shirts idea; it might let her associate small differences with each of the boys.

FYI, it never gets better. My parents still say, "which one's that?" when my sis or I answer the house phone

theCraic at the phone bit.

My DH is an identical twin, I remember when I first met him , finding it strange he had to announce to his parents who he was.

A million years ago when I was in primary school we had a set of twins - one in my class, one in the class next door (with adjoining doors) - they used to swap classrooms all the time, one loved maths, the other hated it - same with art etc. They were easy to tell apart for us kids - the teachers never seemed to cotton on, despite us giggling etc - either that or they just went with it for an easy life

I can usually tell twins apart - my problem is remembering which name belongs to which child - I have to 'tag' one name to one of them on an identifiable feature. - it doesn't come easily and that's without another 13 kids to think about

I think yabu.
Fwiw, I have seen, (as well as millions of other people in this country) John and Edward on the tv, countless amounts of times and still can't tell them apart.

I don't think it is unreasonable to be unhappy about teachers getting mixed up and if I was the child being told off for stuff my sister had done I wouldn't be happy either, but it does seem to go with the territory of being an identical twin. My cousins are very very identical (even now in their mid thirties) and my aunt dressed them in different colours, but they swopped so often that it wasn't very helpful!

I heard about a family where the uncle 'couldn't' tell the twins appart. The twins constantly called him by another uncle's name, claiming they couldn't tell them appart.

Might be worth DTs calling teacher Miss Y

I am a twin and now, 45 years later, people say...Tolk or hobbit?! I have twins I teach and if they are together I dont know which one is which - boys - at least they are in different classes! So a tad 'precious'! Your sons need to say to the teacher ...no Im twin 1 he is twin 2 and he did that etc x

'Might be worth DTs calling teacher Miss Y'

Children do this to me all the time, and occasionally they call me mummy/mum too. I don't get annoyed that they can't remember my name, nor do I send back letters and notes from parents with the spelling of my very ordinary name corrected.
Unless you think the teacher is doing it intentionally, I think YABU if she gets them confused, even if the have very different personalities.
One of the kindest things a parent of twins ever said to me was 'Don't worry, sometimes I can't tell either'

Teachers at my DC school struggle.

my boys are 9 and 6, but the 6 year old is almost as tall as his brother, and they look alike. Sometimes the 6 year old gets ushered along by the Y4 teacher and is told to come into the y4 class!

We laugh. Oldest DS finds it increasingly less funny though.

To me they look very different, and have massively different personalities (indeed!) which the teachers also comment on. It is just that when everyone is running around they can't tell them apart.

people in the street often ask if they are twins.

Like I say, we laugh it off. The HT never mixes them up though. It must be some kind of "visual laziness" in others

We have to wear name badges, so we could insist that all children and parents do too. With severe penalties for fraud.
Problem with theme tunes is that everyone would insist that they had one. Think of the wasted time as everyone had their fanfare, and the fights when two want the same piece.

Worse things happen, my friend and I had a teacher who used to interchange our names regularly, and even got annoyed if I didn't answer to her name, he'd say "same thing!!"

I had one half of a set of twin girls in my tutor group and after 5 years managed to work out that my twin had a shorter face and no freckle. It took 5 years!! There are a couple more sets of twins: some I know the difference, others, I have no idea. However, that being said, I'll be merrily teaching a class I've taught for a few years, look at a kid and have to apologise that my mind has gone completely blank about his name! hey ho. They don't seem to mind.

carabos we've had the same situation - we even had letters and books brought home that were meant for the other child.

cant believe so many people think yabu!!!! the teacher has a duty to know each child in the class, whether they are twins does not affect that. if they cant recognise them then they are crap at their job. even at secondary school were they have different subject teachers they should still know, but in primary the class teacher really must know, i dont get how its acceptable at all for them to not!! im a twin (identical) and teachers used to manage to get our names right, dont think i would have been impressed if not. apart from our infant school head teacher who couldnt be bothered to make the effort so just called us both "twinny" -ffs!

As a teacher I'm not saying I don't know the twins. I know Twin A is working at 2A in reading, is excellent at decoding but doesn't like discussing books, although she can; her writing is 2B and she has carefully joined script but needs to work on remembering all the full stops. She is more confident and outgoing than her sister and is best friends with X but can't work effectively with Y. Her favourite colours is pink and she hates bananas. I know Twin B is working at 2B with her reading, she is working on expression and avoiding robot-reading, she loves Magic Kitten books. Her handwriting is less fluent and she struggles with joins. She can remember punctuation and has mastered speech marks, but adds capitals in random places. Her main target is to remember to re-read her work and check it. She hasn't got a best friend but enjoys playing with C, D & E. She has school dinners but hates pasta days. Her favourite subject is science .... I could go on.
BUT when I look at them sitting in a free choice of seat in class or racing around the playground I can't tell them apart. I expect many teachers are exactly the same.

What AbigailS said :)