AIBU to think that 12 is a bit too young for first pair of heels?

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DD is year 8, 12 years old.

She has a party to go to this Saturday and wants a pair of shoes with high (ish) heels.

I feel really conflicted about it. On the one hand I don't want her to be the the girl who's mother makes her dress like a baby. On the other I think 12 is still very young.

Then there's the issue of being a big fat hypocrite as I often wear sky scrapers.

These are they www.office.co.uk/womens/office/brogue_baby/33/8139/21656/1?fs=8139 if you want to look.

So AIBU? Should I get them for her?

I like the 1st pair. Dd has them, but she is 16! If you do get her them, make sure she wears them round the house lots before she goes out anywhere in them- she needs to get used to them- and get used to the pain!

My 12yr old has a pair of black brogues very similar to the brown ones that she pinched from her big sis when she left them behind after going to uni.

She wore them at Xmas to family things and looked gorgeous (pretty frock, opaque tights)- tasteful make up and all. She has a very grown up look to her anyway.

It's fine, she's growing up.......... but she also looked nearly as old as my 18yr old and I'm not sure I'll let her out "in public" with her mates and no six foot 3 big brother around!

But £65

and word yours has not ripped apart gone through your makeup box yet to find all the little magical pots of stuff

Mine came into my bedroom this morning whilst I was still asleep,I found her searching for my expensive concealer in the dark to cover a spot

seeker in some ways I do feel about all this for precisiely that reason.

Now she enters a world of discomfort and time wasted on things that really don't matter. The madness that is woman-world. And I had hoped for a reprieve for another few years. But I know I'm over thinking this .

OP you can get similar shoes in New Look.My DD has them and she wears them with opaque tights. I said earlier that I am a meany and no way would I spend £65 on a pair of heels at that age.No way Jose.

thea DD is like a beautiful tiny tea spoon. Youngest and smallest in her year.

Dressing in older clothes makes her look either as if she's hitting the dressing up box or something rather more sinister. But I can;t tell her that.

I know exactly what you mean, wordfactory. Dd didn't have her first heels til she was 14.5- qnd even thenni felt really sad that she was wearing something that would restrict her so much.

If it's any comfort to you, she very rarely wears them now- she has decided that it isn't worth the pain!

quiet DD isn't really too worried about make up. She has lip gloss and varnish, but I've never seen her use them.

No doubt she will come downstairs on Saturday night looking like Alice Cooper. DH will die inside.

seeker I suspect DD won't wear them often. TBH she doesn't do many social things. Mostly sport and perhaps ice skating with mates etc.

This is her first proper party of the sort that doesn't involve bowling or sleeping over at a friends to watch a DVD. There will be...ahem...boys there.

They look too high for a 12 year old.
Also, I wouldn't spend that amount on a pair of shoes for myself, nevermind a child.

peek she's using her own xmas money.

Thanks for the thread - have just found my next pair of work shoes

12 was when my big sis first got heels I think. I didn't get mine until 17 or so, but that was my choice.

I had hoped that this would all wait until 17!!!

"This is her first proper party of the sort that doesn't involve bowling or sleeping over at a friends to watch a DVD. There will be...ahem...boys there."

Oh well, you definitely want her in shoes that make her walk funny, give her a crease between the eyes and prevent her thinking abou anything but how much her feet hurt.......

Dd has the shoes in her room as a sort of ornament. She wears them for trying on clothes- then goes out in ballet flats or hi-tops!

I recently saw a little girl at a party who was 7 years old (!) in heels similar to the first pair (probably not quite as high though), totally ridiculous at that age imo and quite sad actually.

Anyway I digress, as for a 12 year old I think they are still a bit high but probably ok for a party, I think when I was 12 years old I had some Spice Girls style platforms which were all the rage in the 90's, although they were probably fairly easy to walk and run about in.

Ah well, if she is using her own money...........:)

Oh I do remember my 12 year olds dressing up and going to their first parties. All of them looked so grown up,but not tarty. My DD is 13 and we get a good compromise between fashion and appropriate.

Shorts and opaque tights I can live with,low cut tops are a no no. Buts she hates them anyway.

Take her to New Look and show her she can get lots more for her money.
It's really not worth paying that much when they will kill her and be off within the hour.
Why don't men wear these shoes?

I'm not a big fan of high heels on anyone really to be honest and certainly on young girls some pretty ballerina flats are much nicer, but I understand that at 12 yrs old she will be getting interested in fashion etc.

I must admit that I am a big fan of high heels and although I tend not to waer them day to day, if I were going anywhere special (even just a lunch date) I would pull on a pair.

I have not been a very good role model really.

And I dye my hair...that'll be next no?

Well I'd let her have the shoes and save my battle for something more important

I had high heels and platform shoes in year 4 when I was 8 or 9

I was short and miserable.

I love high heels and 12 IMO as long as they can walk fine I would say is ok lol

I actually wore shoes similar to the second pair aged 12 - to school . Aah, the seventies ... six inch heels with a one inch platform ... dashing up and down stairs in them ...

But, it would seem these would be her first pair of heels, so probably not for either of the pairs you linked to. Maybe the first pair, if she had a chance to practice in the house for a bit. Or maybe some kitten heels instead?

make sure she tries them on and has a good tramp round the shop if she is planning on spending that much. personally I think a cheap pair for a first try would be more sensible, new look and Primark and peacocks have lots of cheap choice that are stylish and good just for occasional use. plenty of time for the expensive stuff later on when she is wearing them more often, they will be out of fashion by the time she gets her moneys worth of wear out of them.

WhereYouLeftIt me too!

I had a pair in black for school in first year when my sensible Clarks wore out so I'd have been 12.

It took a long time rubbing those Clarks shoes against brickwork to wear them out