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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think that 12 is a bit too young for first pair of heels?

62 replies

wordfactory · 24/01/2012 11:26

DD is year 8, 12 years old.

She has a party to go to this Saturday and wants a pair of shoes with high (ish) heels.

I feel really conflicted about it. On the one hand I don't want her to be the the girl who's mother makes her dress like a baby. On the other I think 12 is still very young.

Then there's the issue of being a big fat hypocrite as I often wear sky scrapers.

These are they www.office.co.uk/womens/office/brogue_baby/33/8139/21656/1?fs=8139 if you want to look.

So AIBU? Should I get them for her?

OP posts:
wahwahwah · 24/01/2012 11:28

Too high! Shell break her neck! Maybe something lower?

FourEyesGood · 24/01/2012 11:29

I agree with wahwahwah - too high! And very expensive if they turn out to be really uncomfortable or too high to walk in.

Sirzy · 24/01/2012 11:30

They look like fairly "safe" heels to me. I can't walk in heels but could walk in them

wahwahwah · 24/01/2012 11:30

I love the green ones though... May get a pair myself

WorraLiberty · 24/01/2012 11:30

Would she really want to wear them?

I was expecting to see a more dressy/fashionable pair of shoes when I clicked the link.

I don't think they're that high and if she can walk in them, I don't see the problem.

I don't understand what you mean by 'big fat hypocrite' though, I mean you're an adult aren't you? Confused

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 24/01/2012 11:31

They're clumpy tho, not those orrid spiked things, she'll prob be fine tbh.

wahwahwah · 24/01/2012 11:32

However... I did have a pair very similar when I was about that age. My big big sister gave them to me, probably in an effort (failed) to get me to be a little more feminine. Shoes like these are easier to walk in than open topped ones.

Tequilamockinbird · 24/01/2012 11:32

They look ok to me, my DD is year 9 and has worn similar.

If its only for parties and they aren't being worn every day then I can't see the problem tbh

TheSpreadingChestnutTree · 24/01/2012 11:33

I don't think you're being a hypocrite. I often go to work, get pissed and drive (not at the same time of course). Adults do some things tha children don't.

SusanneLinder · 24/01/2012 11:33

My DD was 12 when she got her first pair of heels.It was for a wedding as she was a bridesmaid and needed them for her dress. I didn't have an issue with it. She has a couple of pairs for parties.She actually has a pair similar to those ones you are getting for her.

DD only wears them to turn up at the party, they make her feet uncomfortable after a while (like most of us :o), and usually has a pair of flatties in her bag. rest of time she slops about in trainers,converse, fuggs etc. Tbh I don't see the issue. Having had 3 girls, its having the shoes that counts, she will learn that she cant be bothered with them after an hour. :)

Knowing this,I wouldn't pay £65 for them though........is there a cheaper pair she can get,maybe new Look or something?

wordfactory · 24/01/2012 11:34

These were the ones she orginally chose www.office.co.uk/womens/office/ascend_the_throne/37/10507/28143/1?fs=10507

which I nearly fainted at.

She plans to wear shorts and a slouchy blazer. In her mind she's thinking Alexa Chung, in mine I'm thinking Pretty Woman.

OP posts:
StrandedBear · 24/01/2012 11:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wordfactory · 24/01/2012 11:37

Thank you all for your messages.

I think the hypocrite thing worried me because I realy do try to lead from the front. But you're right, I drink wine!!

I also, if I'm being scrupulously honest am worried about her looking tarty.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 24/01/2012 11:39

I would make her wear opaque tights with them, but other than that I would let her wear them.

toddlerama · 24/01/2012 11:39

Not the second pair! IMO, the width of the heel is more important to stability than height, and the first pair had a nice wide heel.

I had to have years of physio from wearing heels too young and all the time (I was very very short) because my achilles tendon didn't stretch as I grew. I was in agony in flats. Nothing wrong with heels at 12 as long as you don't wear them consistently. For a party, fine. Not all day, every day at school.

wordfactory · 24/01/2012 11:40

sqeaky she was planning to go bare legged but I think I managed to overcome that one by pointing out the hideous lumps and bruises she has from lacrosse.

OP posts:
laurenamium · 24/01/2012 11:41

I would say the first pair are fine, I really like them for me though so I might be biased Grin the second pair are hideous inappropriate Grin

Jackstini · 24/01/2012 11:41

Not keen on the design, (but that's personal taste!) also think they are a bit high for a first pair.
Would do something a lot bit cheaper and with maybe a 2" rather than 3" heel

wordfactory · 24/01/2012 11:42

toddle she has brogues for school and the rest of the time it's Converse or ballerina flats.

This is new territory for me.

Next up foundation....

OP posts:
aldiwhore · 24/01/2012 11:42

I think they're lovely, not slutty, pretty classy actually. Maybe a little high if she's not used to heels but otherwise fine.

Expensive though. I would try New Look, they have a great teen range that aren't as high as the adult range (I buy these!) and if uncomfy, you're not losing £££.

I would be relieved if my (imaginary) DD chose this kind of style, feminie, flirty, classy but not at all cheap looking. Well done you for having such a young dd with style.

Bloodyhellthathurts · 24/01/2012 11:43

I've got a pair of those. They're amazingly uncomfortable...just so you know!

scentednappyhag · 24/01/2012 11:44

I had visions of perspex heeled, PVC strapped monstrosities that I'm not allowed a pair of Grin I think the outfit sounds sweet, fashionable but age appropriate IYSWIM.

wordfactory · 24/01/2012 11:44

Yes, the second pair are hideous aren't they?

She suggested ankle socks with them!!!! She thought it would be 'cool'.

OP posts:
QuietOhSoQuiet · 24/01/2012 11:44

my dd is 12 and I have bought her a pair of heels but lower than the ones in the first picture,the 2nd ones she would love but erm NO.

And there is no way in the world that I would spend £65 on a pair of shoes for dd to wear on a few occasions unless my feet would fit in them too so they would get more wear,but I am mean :o Can't you find a chepaer pair,tons of them in New Look,I know as I have the misfortune to have to accompany her in there and then follow her around saying NO,NO,NO to all the heels Shock

wordfactory · 24/01/2012 11:45

As for the price, she's using her own money which she receieved from an Aunt at xmas.

OP posts: