for wanting OH to keep his memory in his own head, not mine?

[2kidsintow]

Where's this?
Where's that?
What day are the kids on school dinners?
Are you getting them from the childminders or am I?

etc...etc...etc...

YANBU I am also the all-knowing one in our house.

We may have made a rod for our own backs as once they get used to the idea that someone else stores all that information for them, they don't have to, so they don't bother, so they depend on you more etc etc.

Just imagine what would happen if you were away for a few days....

Draw up a chart and stick it on the wall. Do a wallet sized copy which he can keep in his pocket.

Perish the thought. I wouldn't mind, but half the things he asks for are in places he left them. And other things, like the school dinners are written down on a calendar thing from the school and don't change.

My DH is shocking. This morning (my lie in), after 20 minutes of huffing he asked me to get up and help him find DS's shoes. You could see them as you walked down the stairs.

His favourite is also 'can you remind me to ..........' thus making it my responsibility if he doesn't. I either remind him immediately or not at all. He soon got the idea.

Ha ha...mine actually phones me up to ask if I can put a reminder in my phone to remind him to do something, call someone etc. It drives me mad!

Oh God, my DH does this too. Also:
"Remind me this..."; "Remind me that..."; "Remind me to buy..."

Remember it yourself

Yup.

I find that you can only break them of this by constant batting it back to them

no idea. don't know. haven't seen it. it'll be where you left it.

the arrangements are less straightforward , perhaps 'what days do you think they are/do you have them down as/same as last week' 'don't you remember what we agreed on X day when we spoke about this?'

basically make him work for it if it's harder to ask you than to sort it himself/remember it himself - he'll stop asking.

He uses your memory cos it's easier.

Change that.

Oh yes, I am the eeper of reminders too.
Sometimes I think im a PA ,not a wife

keeper

Just say 'I don't remember'.

I forget where but I heard this response somewhere and have adopted it as my own:

"My uterus is not a homing device!!"

The other one I hate hate hate is "So what's for dinner?" - although I expect that is a whole new thread....

Sounds like our house. Recently reminded DH that I am his wife not his PA. I have 2 children to remember things for so I don't need to be doing it for him too.
We have an organiser calendar, but DH never rembers to write what he is doing in his column. Which usually leads to me saying "if it's not on the calendar then it's not happening" - especially when there is a clash of events!

What I find hard to get my head around is that men often manage to hold down responsible jobs and yet are completely incapable of organising their personal lives or finding things that don't jump out and hit them in the face!

Funnily enough at my house it's the other way round. DW is always asking me where stuff is especially keys. I don't mind it, though I was a bit when she spent a week accusing me of nicking her hairbrush for a week and then she found that she had put with her underwear, God knows why.

YANBU.
This is a constant in our house and it drives me CRAZY.
I have tried and failed to break it.
I am the official finder and keeper of everything. Totally unasked-for and unpaid job. And thankless. God it annoys me.

Must try the uterus/homing device line!

Yes! bigblue. Totally agree. How is they run the world and cannot find their phone charger!

YANBU. My DH is also under the impression that I spend all day memorising the exact position of every item in the fridge and will actually leave the kitchen (where the fridge is) to come and ask me where the butter/cheese/other bleedingly obvious item is.

'Encyclopedia Britannica for sale - wife knows everything'...

... because someone has to remember where the cheque book is.

Anyone else have the spouse effect - you can't find eg cheque book until you ask your spouse, then you magically see it right in front of your nose. But it only works if you ask.

"Help! Help! I've lost my coin! I keep it there, it's always there!. It's gone! I can't find it!" (repeat for several minutes).

I get up and go to his desk (where he is sitting).

"I always keep it there! It's gone! I can't find it"

I lean over and follow his pointed finger. There is a piece of A4 paper there. I pick it up.

Lo! Like magic, there is the coin. Snuggled happily beneath the sheet of paper.

I go and sit down again.

Ah Jux!The "man's look! Ubiquitous, I believe.

Y'know: open the fridge "there's no milk"
Me: yes there is"
Him: "nope, none".
I get up, have a look in the fridge, "what's this" as I hold aloft the milk.
And I've often had the response "well it wasn't there when I looked".
I kid you not.

I have a chalkboard in the hall, can the fucker look on it? NO! He texts me little rants, oh thanks for telling me you two wouldn't be home, I just reply " chalkboard "

hecate I do this too, if DP asks me where something of his is I tell him I don't know. He still hasn't got the message after almost 3 years living together!

I'm only 20 so I'm going to have to put up with this for a loooooong time.

DH used to ask me to remind him of things in the morning. I still have no idea why he thought I would remember if he wouldn't and it was a "him thing" anyway. He now sets reminders on his phone and google calendar works brilliantly for us when a paper one would be ignored. I have had so many "where are you? I was worried." "I told you three times I was going out" conversations. He one admitted that when I talk he just hears the teacher out of snoopy saying "wha wha wha wha" so there is no point telling him anything .