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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving baby in house?

102 replies

tomkittensmittens · 20/01/2012 23:34

This is probably the wrong place to be asking, and it's really WWYD because I am just not sure and need views from more experienced people!

Due in a few weeks time (our first). DP will have to go back to work (offshore) a few weeks after. We live in a flat across the road from a park where I take the dog last thing at night for a wee. Usually out of the house for 5 minutes.

There are no neighbours who could reliably do this for me and no family nearby and while I know that really, I can't just lock up and go out for 5 minutes (can I?) - the alternative is I have to wake and dress a baby and take her out late at night in all weathers?

Is there some solution I'm not seeing? (or is it just wishful thinking that she won't actually be awake and screaming anyway at 11pm, so no problem)?

OP posts:
ddubsgirl · 21/01/2012 00:05

if it helps you can get a lead that has a torch on it,get dog use to going ealier and as baby get bigger you will have got it sorted,i think nipping down and letting dog out front door would be fine,just take key with you lol!and use baby moniter,do a longer walk with dog say 6.30/7 ish with baby you may find as baby gets older it will help in the bedtime routine and baby will enjoy it.

hohohoshedittant · 21/01/2012 00:06

I'd get the dog into a new routine tbh becuase even if taking the baby with you in a sling works when she's tiny it's hardly a long term solution. You can't take a 5 year old out on a sling! How old is the dog? Is he likely to be around when your DD is older?

AgentZigzag · 21/01/2012 00:08

Agree with ddubs that they won't be a baby for long (Sad) and also babies don't scream all the time they're awake Smile

kotuku · 21/01/2012 00:09

There are products dogs can use inside such as 'Potty patch'. Although far from ideal, would be preferable to getting rid of your dog.

ddubsgirl · 21/01/2012 00:10

if worried about dog running off use a retracting lead :) he can wander whilsts still in your control,only needs to have a sniff and a pee,doggie will be fine xx

Original poster
tomkittensmittens · 21/01/2012 00:13

hoho - the dog's 7 so yes will probably (hopefully!) be around for a good while yet.

Thanks everyone for the really sensible suggestions. I guess I don't know how it's going to be until we're actually in this situation, just trying to work out in advance what would be practical. Nipping downstairs and standing at the door with monitor would probably work fine as the dog's not inclined to run off and there are some bushes nearby. Will try to get him used to that in advance.

Thanks again. Now can you sort out everything else that's whizzing around in my head? :)

OP posts:
randommoment · 21/01/2012 00:16

You'll find a way. 'This too shall pass' as it says in some quote or other. Babies are far more bomb-proof than you think they're going to be btw (speaks from 12 years down the line).

ZuzuandZara · 21/01/2012 00:17

You never really know how things are going to work until you put it into practice for a while but that sounds like the most logical solution to me.
Good luck with your baby (and dog).
Your head will whizz for years to come with a baby on the way Grin

randommoment · 21/01/2012 00:17

And x post with about 6 people!

AgentZigzag · 21/01/2012 00:19

'Now can you sort out everything else that's whizzing around in my head?'

It'll be fine.

Everything will be fine Smile

It'll all slot into place when the baby's there, you'll be amazed how quickly it feels like you've never been without them.

randommoment · 21/01/2012 00:19

Retracting leads are wonderful things. Speaking from v. similar experience here.

randommoment · 21/01/2012 00:21

And agent zigzag is so so right!!!!! best of luck op, you are embarking on the most fun journey any of us will ever have!

randommoment · 21/01/2012 00:22

Although the 2 large Pinot Grigios are very helpful in maintaining this attitude this evening.

AgentZigzag · 21/01/2012 00:23

Can I quote you on that random? Grin

Original poster
tomkittensmittens · 21/01/2012 00:25

Random - Grin I am jealous. Thank you and zigzag for relaxing words, wine-powered or otherwise!

OP posts:
bobbledunk · 21/01/2012 02:42

Get rid of the dog, this baby has the right to parents who love and protect it more than anything in the world, not idiots who leave it alone while taking the dog for a walk.

It may only take five minutes but what if

  1. baby wakes, cries, becomes very distressed because nobody is there to attend to it.
  1. you get attacked while out, end up unconscious, baby has died of dehydration by the time you wake up in hospital.
  1. neighbours report you for child neglect, ss takes your child.
  1. your home goes on fire, baby dies because you are not there to remove it.
  1. somebody knows your neglecting the baby and is watching you, when your out with the dog they break into your home and steal the baby. think madeleine mccann

Hopefully your hormones will kick in properly when the baby is born and you'll be too pfb to even consider such a thing.

Regarding sleeping; a few babies manage to sleep on their parents watch, it's unlikely in the early months though (why i'm writing this at a most ridiculous hourGrin), they can wake at any moment and you have to be there.

Good luck with your baby, theres nothing like newborn smellSmile.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 21/01/2012 02:54

Get one of those extendable leads and lean out of the window. :)

FrothyDragon · 21/01/2012 03:02

OK, not ideal, but have you considered these? It'll take some getting used to for both you and the dog, but it can be workable.

FrothyDragon · 21/01/2012 03:06

Or you could always train the dog to do this...

Grin
CheerfulYank · 21/01/2012 03:20

Wow, bobble.

CheshireDing · 21/01/2012 03:52

You don't needto get rid of the dog.

Our dog will not wee in the garden so his last walk in around 8pm with the pram - too windy and wet for a sling at that time. The walk helps DD (15 weeks settle) and pooch next goes out about 7am or 8am the next morning. After the night walk baby is then bathed and got ready for bed.

In this weather baby goes out in whatever she was wearing in the day and a pramsuit, hat and blanket.

It was not easy with the dog getting used to walking with the pram and it's definitely hard going when the baby is brand new and the dog needs a good walk. The crying was also a shock to him too.

We are sorted now though and from my POV with a dog and a baby you just need to get in some kind of dog walking routine so he knows when you will take him out.

nannipigg · 21/01/2012 05:26

I wouldn't leave baby alone, what happens if the flat catches fire while you are out for your "5 minute" walkies, I would do as others suggest and get a sling or pram pushchair, get baby ready and get out for a walk. It will do you all good, just make sure baby is well wrapped up.

squeakytoy · 21/01/2012 06:01

Get one of those extendable leads and lean out of the window

Grin is that after she has thrown the dog out of the window first then???

I would be moving to a place suitable for a dog, ie a ground floor flat or a house with a garden.

squeakytoy · 21/01/2012 06:04

I wouldn't leave baby alone, what happens if the flat catches fire while you are out for your "5 minute" walkies

Ah, the old "fire" possibility... Confused

Unless you go out leaving a chip pan on , tumble dryer overheating, burning cigarette... which I am fairly sure most people wouldnt do, then there is very little chance that the place will spontaneously combust in five minutes.

Solo2 · 21/01/2012 06:23

I take our dog out for his last wee at 7pm and he can easily manage till 6am the next day and often much much later. As your baby will probably wake for the whole day by 4.30am (my DTs barely slept anyway for their first 3 to 5 YEARS!) - were ALWAYS rearing to go by 5.00am latest.

So the likely thing is that you'll start to crash out in bed by 8 or 9pm each night but b up on and off all night and up for the day pre-dawn. Your dog can get used to a shift in routine, if you start it now and still retain the same time gap for no wees overnight.