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Cringing my head off at this insight into my own youth...

165 replies

solidgoldbrass · 20/01/2012 22:42

In the process of having a right old clear-out, have uncovered a box of 'conversations' ie note-passing that I used to do with friends at school in my teens; we would basically pass a sheet of file paper back and forth between us in particularly boring lessons and discuss... stuff.
What an unbelievable little tick I was! If not whining or sulking, I was slagging off my mates' boyfriends and then complaining no one liked me. Mind you, the next time I start wishing I could be Young Again I will remember those scribbles and be very glad that I am not, in fact, 15 any more. Has anyone else got lurking horrors like this, old diaries or whatever?

OP posts:
NorthernWreck · 21/01/2012 10:53

To be fair Tunip, that wouldn't be hard..

TunipTheVegemal · 21/01/2012 10:55

arf!
She used to hang out in the Rotherham Young Conservatives, too...

NorthernWreck · 21/01/2012 10:58

There ass a Rotherham Young Conservatives? I can't imagine it had many members!

NorthernWreck · 21/01/2012 10:58

There ass-there was!

NorthernWreck · 21/01/2012 10:58

eating and typing dont mix.

AKMD · 21/01/2012 11:00

Argh no. I have some diaries from when I was a teenager. DH has read them Blush and thought they were hilarious. There's one in particular about how I love a certain man so so so much, to be followed on the next page by my angst about a different one Hmm

littlemachine · 21/01/2012 11:03

I put each individual page of my diary from when I was 15 through the shredder. I didn't want to run the risk of it somehow escaping from the wheelie bin and someone reading it. I had visions of someone somehow finding it wherever the rubbish goes to and reading it.

I don't know why I thought it would make thrilling reading to anyone. I cringe just thinking about when I was 15 though. I was a horrible, naughty girl, the kind of girl who gets posted about on 'teens' or 'behaviour/development'.

howlongwilltheynap · 21/01/2012 11:39

Somewhere I have a letter I wrote aged about 14 to my future daughter... I am VERY glad I only have DSs!

Bogeyface · 21/01/2012 11:48

Howlong
Did it by any chance say that you will understand her because you know what its like to be a teenager? That you will never be mean and unkind to her as your mum was to you? You will never ground her or take away her stuff as a punishment? :o

NorthernWreck · 21/01/2012 12:26

That you will absolutely let her go out with that 20 year old she met at the fair, and trust her completely to be responsible...?

CupOfBrownJoy · 21/01/2012 12:35

Oh I'm really enjoying this thread!

I have a packet of old love letters exchanged with the boys (plural! New one every couple of weeks Blush) from the school up the road, but I haven't read them since school. Way too cringetastic - I'm now wondering if 20 years on I might be able to find them funny rather than embarrassing.

They ended with lots of single letters denoting everlasting love as in ILYFEAEUTWE.....

I also have an old diary kept around age 14/15 in which I'm madly in love with a different boy every two minutes, and NEVER did ANYTHING with ANY of them...

And letters sent from my best friend in the school holidays when we were 13 or 14 - we used to decorate the envelopes with messages for the postman NOT to read what was contained inside (as if!) and tell each other what horrible cows our mothers were and how we couldn't wait to leave home. God we were ungrateful...

FellatioNelsonsDog · 21/01/2012 12:50

DH and I had an odd start to our relationship, with lots of enforced separations, and being very ancient we had no email or mobile phones which meant that it was largely conducted via love letters and little notes and cards to one another, full of yearning about how we wished for the day when we could be together permanently, all intertwined with a bit of erm...tastefully erotic longing.

I kept them all, tied them in ribbon and put them in a box in the loft, imagining fondly how my great grand-daughter would read them after I was dead, and clutch them to her heart and vow to make our story into a film or a novel.

I was having a clear-out prior to moving house about 10 years later, and came across them so thought I'd have a read. ShockBlush What an embarrassing self-absorbed cringeworthy pile of heinous old shite. god, I flush just thinking about it. They could not go thorugh the shredder quick enough for me! I still love him very much but I would be MORTIFIED to think anyone might have actaully read such a load of sentimental old guff.

mumofthreekids · 21/01/2012 12:51

I've got some old diaries from my teens - think they are probably in the attic at my parents' house. I haven't read them for at least 20 years and not sure if I'll ever have the courage. Love letters yes, and I think some poetry!!

YohoAhoy · 21/01/2012 16:48

I get a little bit shivery whenever I think of my diaries. I kept one from age 9 (1 line per day, free with People's Friend, faithfully recording my tv viewing and meals. Haddock featured quite a lot) until early 30's.

They are sat in a bag on top of my wardrobe, and I desperately want to read through them, but remember my last attempt where I was willing the floor to actually, really, open up and swallow me. From the endless and tedious angst of my teenage years to the deep, philosophical ponderings (cringe-tastic) od my twenties, they are almost hypnotically awful.

There are also snippets of poetry (bad), humorous stories (really bad) and plays (beyond bad). These do give me one of my funniest memories however.

When I was a teen I really clashed with my dad. Basically we were very similar. Good relationship when I got older though. I used to moan a lot about him to my mum at the time.

A couple of years after he died, I was visiting mum, and she got all serious. Said there was something she'd wanted to ask me about for a long time, and now Needed To Know.

She took some crumpled sheets of paper out of a drawer and handed them to me, saying she'd found them in my bedroom bin when I was about 17, and had been really worried that I had such strong negative feelings towards my dad.

I read them, and they looked like lines of poetry about dead fathers, killing your father, violence etc.

Then I burst out laughing, and had to explain they were lines a friend and I had written when, inspired by West Side Story, we'd decided to write a musical based on Hamlet.

My poor mum's face was a picture. She did see the funny side though :)

peeriebear · 21/01/2012 16:58

You have just reminded me that I have diaries in the attic... Very sporadically filled in from the ages of 12-16, but including losing my virginity and a one night stand with a 17yo green dreadlocked metalhead, among other things. I also have a briefcase full of notes from my best friend from the school years- she went to a different school but we lived about ten doors apart. So every day at school we would write each other a long, rambling, self absorbed letter full of gossip, bitching, solipsism and Great Questions Of Life. Then swap them after school and sit reading them in the same room.
Said briefcase is still at my dad's house- in his very bedroom- I hope he never feels compelled to open it, or like Pandora's box all the ills of my teenage wankerishness will flood the world, and not even my dignity will remain behind.

AKMD · 21/01/2012 19:25

Inspired by this thread I have just read a few pages of the dreaded diary. My face is burning! That needs burning asap.

The worst experience with letters/diaries I've had so far is when my mum found a letter I'd written as a dare at a sleepover I'd had with a few friends. I'd recently split up with my xth boyfriend Hmm and the dare was to write a letter begging to have him back. It included a very graphic description of the things I'd do to/with him if we did get back together. I can't believe my mum read that! Blush]

Fenouille · 21/01/2012 19:35

I used to write my diary in code for the bits that were about boys and I still write one now no more rude bits about boys any more unfortunately I also keep a diary for DS it's for me really. I inherited my Grandfather's and Grand Aunt's diaries and letters and they're fascinating.

I also keep all the letters I've ever received in a big box. Don't get so many any more but the odd Christmas card will go in there still. Does anyone else love Christmas purely because you get to see your old friends' hand writing again? It's funny how recognisable some of it is even though I haven't exchanged letters with them for years (and then I can't wait to get inside and rip open the envelope while standing by the letter box).

solidgoldbrass · 21/01/2012 20:18

Oh I'm keeping all my letters and diaries, it's just the inane yucky notes that have been binned.
I think it's nice to keep some stuff though. My mum has promised me for years that I can have the Red Book when she finally pops her clogs. The Red Book is a little (not so little now as it has been expanded by stuffing more pages in it) old diary in which Mum has faithfully written her Christmas and birthday lists, what to pack for holidays etc, for the past 50 years. It's a total record of family life.

OP posts:
toddlerama · 21/01/2012 20:19

DH and I only got 13%. When should I leave?

Fenouille · 21/01/2012 20:29

I only get 33% with DH but as he's currently doing the ironing I'm going to overlook it and thank my lucky stars that I didn't marry any of the ones I got 99% with

Adversecamber · 21/01/2012 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sl1nkyMalinki · 21/01/2012 22:07

Just in case anyone cared about the FLAMES thing, according to a v good friend of mine who I used to do these things with flames stood for Friends, Lovers, Affair, Marriage, Engaged, Sexual partners. You use the same method as LOVES but have to get to a single digit between 1 and 6 to correspond with the letters. Just to keep you busy Grin

chocoroo · 21/01/2012 22:10

bertie Maybe. I'm not sure the finer details of what to drink, wear and snog in a northern ex-mining village would have mass market appeal though. :)

ginmakesitallok · 21/01/2012 22:17

I've got some old diaries from when I was about 15-18. They are horrendous. I was absolutely obsessed with boys - every other page was declaring undying love to someone who I can't even remember. (Apparently had a brief snog with a beautiful rugby player whos father was a lord...) Every snog I had is there in horrible detail, every time I fell out with my friend, my hideous hopes for the future (which seemed to be based solely on getting a boyfriend).

For some reason I've never burned them - must do at some point, if my DDs got hold of them...Shock God the embarassment.

ginmakesitallok · 21/01/2012 22:18

Oh and I've also got the letters which DP and I sent to each other when we started going out together - oh how we laugh over them now, 19 years, 2 kids, 3 mortgages later...

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