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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with my sister

66 replies

fridakahlo · 19/01/2012 20:09

for referring to my ds and dd as her babies. Specifically ending an e-mail with 'How are my babies?'
Probably, yes?

OP posts:
whostolemyname · 19/01/2012 20:15

YABU - its just an affectionate expression.

dyzzidi · 19/01/2012 20:16

Errmmm. Well she is asking in an affectionate way how your children area so I think you are being a bit unreasonable.

The alternative for her not to care less about them and not be interested.

I know what I would prefer x

thisisyesterday · 19/01/2012 20:16

i have to admit, I do this to people.
my mum does it to mine and it doesn't bother me

but i think i am prob in a minority

Original poster
fridakahlo · 19/01/2012 20:17

To be a bit dripfeedy, at my mums wedding in May, she refused to even have them for an hour, so yes, she cares, when it suits her.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 19/01/2012 20:19

Caring/loving are not the same as free childcare you know Grin

NeldaAufwader · 19/01/2012 20:19

I think it's quite sweet. I suppose it depends on your usual relationship with her.
Don't worry I'm sure she knows that they are your babies really. Grin

NeldaAufwader · 19/01/2012 20:20

Oops x post, I'm such a slow typist.

ohdearwhatdoidonow · 19/01/2012 20:21

My sis does it all the timeSmile
Mine are 10 & 13
She's there "go to" person. I think its lovely

EllenandBump · 19/01/2012 20:22

You should try having my sister. She actually says to MY SON how is my littl boy, and come to mummy!! I AM HIS MUM! It drives me crazy.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 19/01/2012 20:22

A bit Unreasonable, yes. Having said that, while I don't mind my mum doing this to me so much it gets my back up when I for example, say to my baby DS "who's my clever little boy then?" and my mum corrects me with "no, MY clever little boy!" really pointedly Hmm Very annoying!

Deafworm · 19/01/2012 20:22

I think you are probably being unreasonable but it drives me nuts too so you aren't alone. I keep quiet to keep the peace and because I'm fairly convinced I'm not being fair

Bogeyface · 19/01/2012 20:25

Wouldnt bother me at all, and as someone else said, you can care for a child without being childcare!

Original poster
fridakahlo · 19/01/2012 20:26

I'm certainly not going to make an issue of it with her will just quietly seeth inwardly instead.
And my mother does it too, but it doesn't bother me so much, perhaps because my mum does help out when she can.

OP posts:
KurriKurri · 19/01/2012 20:27

Sounds fine to me - she's being affectionate.

maybe you'd prefer it if she never e-mailed and never asked after your children? - if so tell her so she doesn't waste her time.

Can't quite grasp why you expected her to look after your children at your mother's wedding, presumably she was there as a guest, not running the creche?

Clawdy · 19/01/2012 20:29

I would be delighted to have one of my family say that. You should be glad you have a loving family. Lots of people don't.

fbnomore · 19/01/2012 20:30

i think you are being unreasonable and slightly odd asking this question.

she is your sister. they are her niece/nephews. those to phrases cover everything.

on a slightly more practical note, If you and your dp die in a car accident tomorrow, who will look after them? hopefully someone who loves them enough to refer to them affecionately as her babies.

Original poster
fridakahlo · 19/01/2012 20:34

It won't be my sister, thats for sure. The wedding was a three day affair.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 19/01/2012 20:36

And my mother does it too, but it doesn't bother me so much, perhaps because my mum does help out when she can

You do seem to equate how much affection is allowed with how much help you seem to get.. very odd.

Original poster
fridakahlo · 19/01/2012 20:38

Only in this context.

OP posts:
fbnomore · 19/01/2012 20:38

in which case i pity you and your sister and your relationship.

if the relationship is as awful as you have implied, then, yes, she is being unreasonable.

lazymonkeyface · 19/01/2012 20:39

Yanbu

I hate it when people say that to me or the baby. I told my mom she can say my little - sons name-. Coz he is her grandson, but not My Baby. Could be just being precious, but it makes my skin crawl.

Bogeyface · 19/01/2012 20:40

So if she babysat then you would be fine with it?

Talk about love coming with strings attached! I wouldnt bother getting in touch at all if I was your sister!

mayagoldmamma · 19/01/2012 20:44

It would annoy me if my sister said that fridakahlo
She always says "How are my darling nephews?" which is fine but "My babies"? No, that would annoy the hell out of me, even if IAMBU...It's like trying to take ownership of them it seems to me, but then sisterly relationships can be very tricky and subject to laws of their own!
I am frequently unreasonable too, so you may care to disregard the above!!!

Love your name btw, she's my favourite female artist ever

Clawdy · 19/01/2012 20:49

Yes, lazymonkeyface you are being precious. Try being on your own without people to call your little boy "baby".

Original poster
fridakahlo · 19/01/2012 20:51

But the point is she wouldn't babysit AT ALL. And oh, yes Maya, our relationship is complicated.

OP posts:
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