to hate being called 'a star' at work?

[MaureenMLove]

I am a grown up. I do my job for love (and money) I am not doing anything out of the ordinary, I just try to be as fair and helpful as I can be. I think it's called being a team player! It's no big deal.

So, why, in the name of god, do people insist on saying, 'oh thanks, you're a star!' ? They say it over the radio, for the whole sodding school to hear too! One of these days I'm going to have to comment. It's driving me nuts!

I am 40 something years old fgs! I am not one of the students in our school. I am not a bloody star! 6 year olds are stars - 40 somethings are not!

There endeth the rant - as you were!

When I was a PA I used to occasionally get bouquets of flowers for good work. Other people got cash bonuses. I felt like you OP, not that praise isn't appreciated but sometimes the sort of praise you get indicates your status or lack of it.

It's like being described as a "bright girl" when you're 36 with 20 years industry experience.

Praise in general better than a kick up the arse, obviously

Just seen the "bright girl" comment as being patronising has already been made - not just me then!

I meant to add - OP YANBU.

I think you have to have a certain inherent level of chippiness to be bothered by an informal phrase used to convey thanks or praise.

YABVVVVVVU

The person saying it has probably tied themselves up in knots (especially if a hint of the chipiness you're showing here has been noticed at work) avoiding 'good girl' as it's patronising and sexist, 'thank you for your hard work' as it implies a hierachical relationship, 'cheers'- too informal and is left with 'you're a star', which was until you objected an inoffensive, gender neutral and non power loaded way of showing that your work had been noticed.

Sheesh.

what's wrong with just 'thank you' then

sheesh

do you like being called a star helpyourself?

I say it to my employees

Guess I will have to discuss during staff appraisals how they like to be praised.

Please circle below the the way in which your line manager can informally praise your work performance.

You're a star! Well done you! Thank you so much for your contribution.
Thanks. I would like my line manager to say nothing.

I usually reply to 'you're a star' with:

'its a train that goes to Paris'

I'll get me hat.

I love it when I'm called this in my personal life (my sister will say, 'you're a super star!' which I love because it is always heartfelt). However I sympathise with the OP and would agree it's inappropriate in the work place. I've had younger/more junior colleagues say it to me and would have secretly preferred 'thank you so much', if I'm honest. Conversely my boss often says 'well done' which I do really like and don't find at all patronising - it is nice to know you've done a good job (I guess it helps that she only says it where credit really is due, so it's not over-used). My own team I know wouldn't like 'well done' coming from me (we're all of a similar age) so I tend to be a bit more like, 'that's bloody brilliant, I love it!' (when I do, obviously).

I think it's very much to do with context and personality, the OP is aware this is being used towards adults AND students where she works and would prefer more differentiation in the way they're addressed - nothing wrong with that!

mm I've thought about this and agree in a school context it's inappropriate. As teachers her colleagues will have been trained to give meaningful praise, not just 'well done', but 'I noticed how you really concentrated today and your answers were much better thought out.' However it is exhausting thinking up different, non patronising ways of giving feedback!

YABU. It's just you being fussy. At least they're being nice but if that's not good enough either...