To ask what Mumsnet in the eighteenth century would have posted if Jean Armour (Robbie Burns' wife) could ask for relationship advice?

[Cristiane]

Oh clever women of Mumsnet, please help me with my reply to the toast to the lassies!

Leave the bastard?

I don't envy you. I heard a great reply a couple of years ago, by, I think, Karen Dunbar. Have you youtubed for inspiration? Maybe if you start off with a first paragraph others will help you here. Starting is the hardest part.

Karen Dunbar? I will you tube it. I can't believe I ever thought this would be a good idea!

Sorry - it's not on youtube, but there is a very funny one called "reply from the lassie" with a glamorous, slightly tipsy woman reading it in a gorgeous house. It might give you inspiration.

Ok thank you agentprovocateur

Bumping for the evening crowd...

Where did she live? If it was Dumfries I'd definitely be complaining about that in my toast.

...and about the amount of time he appears to have spent in the pub.

Sorry for being dim, but what would you be complaining about in terms of Dumfries?

whats wrong with dumfries?

apart from the annual floods?

maybe the several children he had with other women, could be a little cause for complaint? Just saying...

what's right with dumfries?