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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

..to wonder whether DD yr 7 is old enough to be on her own in school holidays?

56 replies

daisie4 · 18/01/2012 12:47

I'm not sure at what age children stop going to holiday activity clubs, and if they don't go what do they do.

I'm struggling to find interesting clubs for my dd. I'll be out from 9.00 to 4.00 - what age do you think its okay to leave dc on their own, and do you set guidelines on what they should do or let them watch Glee all day in their pjs?

OP posts:
MarthasHarbour · 18/01/2012 12:48

lurking as i havent a clue either, it is years away for my DS but am curious.

BandOMothers · 18/01/2012 12:51

Gosh...gap in the market? Are there no summer schools for dance or drama? Does she like those? I think it's a bit too young to be alone daily...once a week fine but the longer you do it the more chance she's going to come up against an emergency or a problem.

How would she deal with callers to the house for instance? Would you allow her to make the choice of going out to play or not? What if she wants to call for a local friend?

SamsGoldilocks · 18/01/2012 12:52

no - of course she's not at 7. think of all the stories of people being arrested for leaving their 11/12 year old home alone.

sparkle12mar08 · 18/01/2012 12:52

If you mean no supervision for your whole working day then at 7yo that's a massive, massive no from me - it's an unacceptable risk for your daughter, sorry. I always push for more independence for children these days but to leave them unsupervised for a whole day is wrong, very wrong. I'd say you'd be looking at the teen years for that, so 12+ maybe.

Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 18/01/2012 12:53

I think 7's too young to be honest. I would think 9 would be more usual for a sensible child. Especially as you're talking all day not just an hour.

pinkhebe · 18/01/2012 12:54

I assume the poster means yr 7 (ie age 11 - 12) I have to leave my 11 yr old (yr 7) alone whilst I work, but it's generally only 2-4 hours a day.

pooka · 18/01/2012 12:54

YEAR 7 - I.e. 11/12 years old. :)

boschy · 18/01/2012 12:54

you mean Year 7 right, so she's 11 or 12? rather than 7 years old...
I think the odd day on her own at 11 or 12 would be OKish if you really had to, but not an extended period of time.

Mine are 15 and 12 now, and I still dont leave them in the house for hours on end - not because I'm worried about them or think they will do something they shouldnt, just because I dont think it's that nice for them. Having said that, I do wonder why I dont when they sleep in til 11.30 am and half the day is gone...

BandOMothers · 18/01/2012 12:55

Gosh people...YEAR 7.

Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 18/01/2012 12:55

I doubt anyone's been arrested for leaving an 11/12 year old home alone during the day during school hols, Sams. Surely that's normal.

redskyatnight · 18/01/2012 12:55

The OP says Yr7 :) (not 7 years old)

Holiday clubs are pretty much non-existent round here and most of my colleagues seem to leave their secondary school DC alone from then (usually either trying to work at home some of the time, arranging a "rota" with other parents and/or getting them to call in at regular intervals).

And judging by the "how can you still be in bed, it's x o'clock" conversations my colleagues all seem to have, I think they spend most of it in bed :)

Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 18/01/2012 12:56

Sorry Yr 7 is fine I think.

Sevenfold · 18/01/2012 12:57

no way on this earth would I leave a 7 yr old home alone all day

Theonewiththehair · 18/01/2012 12:57

I would say no way I would leave dd 8yrs old for more than 15 mins.

Try your local council website for holiday clubs etc.

Your dd would probably be fine if nothing happened all day but what about unexpected callers or even friends calling?

Also she could just get scared or lonely.

Sevenfold · 18/01/2012 12:57

yr 7
still wouldn't leave them alone all day

SquishyCinnamonSwirls · 18/01/2012 12:58

I think I was 13 when Mum left me to it in the daytime during the hols.
From 11 I was letting myself in in the afternoons and doing homework / watching telly etc, and in the hols either went to friends houses for the day or into work with Mum and earnt some pocket money doing filing or cleaning the staff kitchen etc. This is 20 years ago though so h&s rules weren't as strict about minors on the premises.
The only time I had to let her know anything was if I wanted to go out - call to let her know where, how I was getting there and home again and when etc. This was before mobile phones. I had homework to do, Mum would ask me to do one or two chores and I normally made sandwiches for me and my Dad who'd stop in at home for a cuppa and his lunch.

Theonewiththehair · 18/01/2012 12:59

Sorry. Took so long to post I missed the year 7 bit. Entirely different then.

Still check council website though. There may be something she is interested in.

Jakeyesqwellthisisnew · 18/01/2012 12:59

I was left for about that time (and longer) at that age (not that long ago I'm only 22)
I was fine.
Usually I was expected to do one chore - dust living room or hoover hall or hang up washing or strip beds or maybe do a bit of tea (say if it was spag bol I would make sauce or make cakes

I did go out, I would spend days with friends who were home - just around their houses, or we would go swimming or to the pictures or bowling sometimes. If friends were with parents who would ferry us around and pick us up.

But If I chose to go out I had to leave a note if I hadn't told my dad.

But if I was just at home then no really instructions apart from I had to get changed in the morning - just one chore, don't watch tv all day (but if I did I did), and encouraged to invite a friend around, do something productive. Sometimes I would go around our elderly neighbours (on my own accord) and just have a drink and a biscuit and spend time with them.

Basically - yes it is fine.

thekidsrule · 18/01/2012 12:59

year 7 fine,age 7 no

i leave my two boys 13 in may with my 5 yr old sometimes,whether in the day or evening if im out for 2-3hrs,dont go to far though no more than half to 3/4 mile

sparkle12mar08 · 18/01/2012 12:59

Yr 7 sorry, my mis-reading! Hmm, still not sure to be honest. Think I'd still prefer that my dc wre checked on in the middle of the day at lunchtime, or checked in at another parents house for lunch. Would that be possible?

PurpleWithaBlueBun · 18/01/2012 13:00

Nope, would possibly leave her for an hour, but as I see it I am responsible for her so should be there or arrange appropriate care.

inchoccyheaven · 18/01/2012 13:01

It is really difficult at that age but I would think boredom is going to be a big factor when she is on her own. It is a long time and every day as well. Could family have for a day or two or could so go to a friends for a day or so and the you repay the favour another time?

You would need to set guidelines about if she can go out or have friends round etc and making sure she locks up if she does.

I don't envy you at all because if I wasn't self employed and work from home I would be in same situation.

Foxinsocks · 18/01/2012 13:03

we are at work till far later (7ish) but have decided that yr9 (dd is august so will turn 13 right before yr9 starts) is about the right age for us to feel comfortable

till 4pm, I probably wouldn't do it every day but I can't see the problem once in a while

dd is yr7 now and she does have some time on her own but not extended long periods every day

Ephiny · 18/01/2012 13:03

I think she'd be fine in that 11-12 is old enough to be at home unsupervised. Wouldn't she be a bit bored and lonely sitting at home on her own all day, every day, though?

Jins · 18/01/2012 13:04

I left DS1 in year 7 as he was and is a sensible and self reliant little soul. I did not leave DS2 in year 7 nor did I leave him in the care of DS1.

I was lucky as I worked part time and short days, I'm not sure if I'd have left him if I worked full time.

However he had strong views on being babysat!!!