to turn off DHs bedside light before I go to sleep?

[sheeplikessleep]

DH likes to read in bed before going to sleep.

I like the room dark in order to get to sleep.

He normally switches his bedside light on and then proceeds to watch TV downstairs, before coming upstairs and reading. My theory is that if I am in bed alone, I have the right to turn off all lights in the room. His theory is that he should be OK to have his bedside light on for when he comes up to read.

Not a biggie I know , but just wondered how others did the whole bedtime different go to sleep times / reading thing? I can't wear one of those eye cover things, as they just annoy me.

AIBU to get annoyed he wants to leave his bedside light on when he isn't even in the bedroom?

Leave the bastard

Am I understanding this correctly ?

he wants to leave the light on when he is not even there ?

In case he wants to read when he graces you with his presence in bed ?

tell him to sod off, you will have the light out

Is he scared of the boogy man? Tell him to read elsewhere.

Turn the light off and tell him to read downstairs.

If you were to switch it off, would you be cross if he switched it on again when he comes up to bed? Tbh, I get very annoyed when DH switches all the lights off when I'm staying up later than him. If he's late to bed, I have an eye mask so that I can leave his on which I think is far more reasonable!

Christ - if DP came up to bed after me and switched all the lights on I would not be impressed.. who would think this was acceptable?

Older ... I'll call the solicitor

Yup, he is often finishing off a programme or whatever downstairs.

Last night, he ended up reading in the study. His argument (probably too strong a word!) is that I fall asleep with the light on. Admittedly, I do when I'm shattered, but I get to sleep quicker with the light out.

We do this as both of us like to read, I find a light left on much less annoying than a light turned back on.

Missboots - probably yes, I'd get annoyed if he came up and switched his side light on. I hate those eyemasks though.

I know this is one of those unimportant, mundane questions, but I'm interested what others do

And often he is up later than me, as I dominate the TV the earlier part of the evening, giving him no chance to watch his TopGear type shite

Get him a clippy book light.
I couldn't possibly sleep with the bedside light on. It's hardly fair.

Dh and I have iPads with kindle on. You can read in dark very well - so basically all lights out when he/I/we go to bed.

Revolutionised my life - can read as long as I like as can he, without either of us disturbing the other.

Before this, if I went to bed before dh, I would turn lights out. This would not have bothered him - it is completely unreasonable to expect someone to easily go to sleep with a side light on. He has been known to read downstairs or in bathroom. And I'm not wearing a mask in bed thank you very much.

YANBU in the slightest.

I leave his on but on the very dim touch setting.

Definitely give him a torch. Or install curtains over the bed.

It also depends on the bedside.

I have one of those dimmer lamps, so the lowest setting is not too intrusive.

I was also going to say clippy book light. Dh has stolen my one because I like it to be dark and generally mumsnet on my phone in bed go straight off to sleep.

Ah, I have an eyemask that I actually bought many MANY years ago at one of those Ann Summers type hen parties so it's all soft and fluffy, not scratchy like one that you get on a plane. I barely notice it, and actually sleep much better in summer with it. I'm not sure that's what the hen party organisers has in mind at the time, but it works for me!

Dh reads downstairs then comes to bed
He knows im a nightmare if I don't get enough sleep

Can he see his way to the bed without the light on, or is he likely to fall over something and wake you up?

You need to get him a good reading light that he can attach to his book.

Cheers all. He does have a book torch thing somewhere , so I'll try and find that. Equally, he has an ipad and a Kindle, so that is useful to know they have some sort of light facility.

I am a bit like your husband. I read when I go to bed. My husband often has to be up at 4.30am, and goes to bed at about 9.

Putting the lamp on disturbs him, understandably. But I got a lamp from Ikea, which is very dim, and when switched on, comes on slowly too. It is almost like a childs night light, and perfect for both of us as it doesnt keep him awake.

It depends which is more annoying, having the light on while you're going to sleep, or it being switched on when he comes to bed.

I'm the one who sometimes goes to bed later and who reads in bed (DP reads a lot but never in bed, where he'd just go to sleep). He usually puts my bedside light on when he switches the main light off. That means I can find my way into the room, undress and get into bed without bumping into things and can then read if I want to. The alternative would be, I leave the hall light on and door open on entering the room so I can find my way to switch on my bedside light, then go back, switch off hall light, close door. Or just use hall light for undressing, if I'm not going to read but then have to stumble round the bed in the dark to get in, which risks me waking him by touching the bed to confirm its position. I sleep on the side away from the door and that's not going to change.

Future - he's fine getting to bed, as we tend to leave the bathroom light on overnight, as DS1 hates pitch black at night if he wakes / needs a wee. So he can see where he is going. Not sure why he doesn't use his book torch thing, I'll definitely dig that out today and put it on his pillow tonight. Nothing like a strong hint!
Thanks all for posting

No YANBU but he is definately being unreasonable. What planet is he on that he thinks you should lie there with the light on when you are trying to sleep and he is elsewhere?! He should read elsewhere or get a book light.