to turn off DHs bedside light before I go to sleep?

[sheeplikessleep]

DH likes to read in bed before going to sleep.

I like the room dark in order to get to sleep.

He normally switches his bedside light on and then proceeds to watch TV downstairs, before coming upstairs and reading. My theory is that if I am in bed alone, I have the right to turn off all lights in the room. His theory is that he should be OK to have his bedside light on for when he comes up to read.

Not a biggie I know , but just wondered how others did the whole bedtime different go to sleep times / reading thing? I can't wear one of those eye cover things, as they just annoy me.

AIBU to get annoyed he wants to leave his bedside light on when he isn't even in the bedroom?

Hahaha, this thread is making me laugh.

I don't care if DP wants to read in bed. If I'm asleep, the light it off and it's staying that way. If he wants to read he can use a torch or read downstairs.

Him being deprived of reading a few pages isn't going to kill him. Me being deprived of sleep might.

ppfftt.

pictish, sorry but I disagree. Some people can sleep with lights on, and some can't, and I don't think someone's desire to read should have priority over someone else's need to sleep.

I can't even sleep if the alarm clock display is on the brighter setting! DH can't sleep if i sit in bed reading with the light on, so if I want to read, I'll go sit downstairs until I'm ready to sleep. Sure, it would be lovely if I could do that in bed, but I wouldn't dream of doing so at the expense of DHs sleep.

ariel - again, that could work too.

thanks for all of the ideas, i've emailed them to dh and see what he reckons. thanks

hehe.. Mrs Mango that has reminded me of another of my husbands "complaints", the tiny red "power" light on the bedroom tv is enough to keep him awake..... apparently!

..it works both ways, by the way. If he's asleep I don't go in and switch all the lights on and stomp about. I find my way in pitch black and creep about so I don't disturb him.

(most of the time)

squeaky - munching toffees, smoking and readin? That would be separate rooms if that was me

Squeaky, I moved our TV so the light is lower than the bed frame if I'm lying down!

What the? Of course he's being unreasonable!

We have this, I generally leave his light on if I'm in bed first, but can only doze if it's light, not sleep properly so I know what you mean.
We have a deal (unless anyone is poorly) if he hasn't come up by 11pm then I can turn his light off. So if he comes upstairs and all is dark then he's missed his opportunity to read.
Or if he's been drinking i leave a careful trail of lights leading to the spare room...

pictish - it's not that i expect him to never use the sidelight.
as i said, fair enough if we go to bed at the same time, it takes me 15 mins or so to drop off to sleep, during which time he reads with the light on. if we go to bed at the same time, i think we have equal 'dibs'. what i get annoyed about is him turning his sidelight on before i go to bed and him coming up an hour later. i totally get that reading in bed under a duvet is nicer than being sat in the study reading, BUT the light on stops me getting to sleep.

I had to train DH that it was NOT ok to put lights on when others are asleep! We have those dim plug in lights...literally just a glowing plug...in the hall....if you can't make it out the door and into the hall to go for a wee without falling then your room is too cluttered.

I go to bed first usually, and leave dh's light on or he creates a huge palaver crashing about in the dark, he is utterly hopeless, appears to have no useful night vision at all!

he used to moan about me reading but like someone else's dh he could fall asleep amid racketting toddlers, war films and other assorted chaos so we compromised I ignored him

Once I am asleep though I am rarely woken, he creeps in and out of bed at all hours working shifts and often has to turn off all the lights and the tv!

For the OP maybe a dimmer light so you can still sleep? I would be more disturbed by a light coming on suddenly i think, than a dim low one.

sheeplikessleep, our household is the other way round; my DH needs the light off to get to sleep, I like to read. If he went up before me, there is no way I'd expect him to leave the light on for me. Sleep is a NEED, reading is a PREFERENCE. Needs are trumps.